#88 Top Strategies to Navigate the Sexual Marketplace with Susan Walsh

#88 Top Strategies to Navigate the Sexual Marketplace with Susan Walsh

#88 Top Strategies to Navigate the Sexual Marketplace with Susan Walsh
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We're taking a different perspective on the whole dating, sex, and relationships marketplace. 'Marketplace' is the right word. We're talking about sexual marketplace supply and demand, and looking from a research perspective - economics and evolutionary psychology, and these types of research - on how to approach dating, sex, and relationships in a strategic manner to get the most out of it; based on our resources, based on our qualities, and based on our strengths and weaknesses; and what the supply and demand looks like there.

It's a smarter way of approaching the whole thing. We're going to be talking about hooking up, which is the difference between starting a relationship and then having sex (which is kind of the old way), and it's pretty much de facto standard today where people are hooking up first - so you hook up, you have sex, or you start sexual relationships before you get into a relationship. In a general manner, that's pretty much the de facto standard of what people do today.

We're focusing a bit more on hooking up, and also on college and university. So, if you're right now at college or university and you want to know how that works and how to approach it the best way, this is going to be a great episode for that. Also, if you didn't do so well in college or university, you may learn why and it may be pretty interesting for you from that perspective.

Today's guest is Susan Walsh. She's an ex strategy consultant and a Wharton MBA. If you don't know, Wharton is one of the best business schools in the world. Susan left that life in 2008 when she started a blog on dating, sex, and relationships, which has, over time, built up a very active community.

What I like about this is that she's very focused on the strategy perspective, which is different, and also has a lot of people who are very active on her blog. So she's really kind of in touch with demand (what people actually want, what their top concerns are on the problems they have). She's got perspective on that, which she’s going to bringing to this episode, which is really useful.

You can learn more about: what are the top concerns of women and other guys your age, for example. To give you an idea of what her blog is about, one of the first post she ever wrote was titled: Sex is Strategic. So Should You Be.

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Specifically, in this episode you'll learn about:

  • Susan's background and how she started her blog (03:17)
  • Top concerns from men and women related to hooking up, including its definition (09:45)
  • Why men in college worry about being a virgin and the pressure to sleep with women, including societal pressures and changes that affect their sexual behavior (19:15)
  • Top concerns for women in college when it comes to having sex, and what they are being told by men to get them to hook up (22:50)
  • The dominant concept: the principle of least interest (whoever cares less has the most power) (28:00)
  • The pressure to consume alcohol in order to be comfortable in sexually social environments (31:38)
  • Important strategic decisions men currently make about their sex life and the impact, especially for men in college (32:54)
  • The Red Pill (referring to the movie: The Matrix) and understanding the "true nature" of women (35:50)
  • Strategic decisions women are making about sex, and maybe getting wrong (40:00)
  • Win-win situations in college for men and women to meet and approach each other: focusing on the similarities (44:29)
  • The best way to contact Susan and learn more about her work (50:24)
  • History of the principle of least interest (whoever cares less has the most power) (51:52)
  • Recommendations for high quality advice in the area of dating, sex, and relationships (54:10)
Give some love to Susan on Twitter to thank her for the advice in this interview.
Click Here to let her know you enjoyed the show!

Items Mentioned in this Episode include:

  • Hooking Up Smart: Susan's blog for men and women devoted to navigating the contemporary SMP (sexual marketplace).
  • Sex is Strategic. So Should You Be: Mentioned by Angel in the introduction, this is one of Susan's first blog post.
  • What Do Women Want? (Daniel Bergner): This book is about adventures in the science of female desire. It was mentioned by Angel while discussing top concerns from men and women related to hooking up.
  • The Definitive Survey of College Students' Sexual Behavior: This blog article by Susan was mentioned while discussing hookup concerns and the debate regarding what percentage of students in college are participating in the hookup culture (i.e. casual sex).
  • The Game (Neil Strauss): Susan mentioned this book while discussing strategic decisions men currently make about their sex life, and looking like a 'player', even if they can't actually be one.
  • Science of Relationships: Website addressing the importance of developing relationships from a scientific perspective (research and data). Recommended by Susan.
  • The Science of Relationships: Answers to questions about dating, marriage, and family.
  • Barking Up The Wrong Tree: Susan recommended reading Eric's blog articles about how to appeal to the opposite sex.
  • Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do (Duana Welch): Susan recommended Duana for her analytical and data-driven perspective on attracting someone into your life.
  • The Art of Manliness: This site, by Brett McKay, is highly recommended by Susan for a wealth of topics on masculinity, aspects of manliness, character development, etc.
  • The Way of Men (Jack Donovan): Angel recommended Jack Donovan. His book addresses the question, "What is masculinity?" It aims to sort out the conflicting religious, cultural, and moral issues.
  • David Deida: Angel recommended David for his background in addressing masculine / feminine polarity.

Full Text Transcript of the Interview

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