#104 How to Give Women Oral Sex (and the Benefits of Porn) with Ian Kerner

#104 How to Give Women Oral Sex (and the Benefits of Porn) with Ian Kerner

#104 How to Give Women Oral Sex (and the Benefits of Porn) with Ian Kerner
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Today we're looking at the topic of oral sex. We're going to get into some practical details of female anatomy, and specifically the clitoris, and look at the stages of female arousal when giving them cunnilingus oral sex, and how that all works out.

We're also going to be looking at the benefits of porn. We've spoken a lot about some of the issues with porn in the past, and specifically abusive porn, overuse of it. Today what we're getting is some interesting examples of where it's being used positively in therapy for men with certain types of sexual difficulties.

So we see that the world isn't black or white. When we're trying to get to the truth of things, often there's a grey area and the grey area means it depends on the context. It depends on your situation. Sometimes porn can be a good thing used in a certain way, and at other times it can be negative, and negatively affecting your health, your drive, and so on. So that's another interesting aspect we're getting into today.

Today's guest is Ian Kerner, PhD. He's a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor in the U.S. He specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy, and working with individuals with a range of relational issues. You may know him as the author of the best selling book "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman," which of course is about oral sex and cunnilingus. He wrote this 12 years ago and it's still a No. 1 best seller in human sexuality, which is pretty amazing on Amazon, and it's been a New York Times best seller.

So Ian is very, very well known. He's been featured on pretty much every single media outlet you can think of, like TV, the press, and so on over the last decade. He's also the founder more recently of a site called goodinbed.com. It's a site that brings together a whole bunch of leading sex and relationship experts. They give out advice on the side and they also carry out original research on human intimacy and sexuality.

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Specifically, in this episode you'll learn about:

  • Ian's background and his journey to writing the book "She Comes First" (03:45)
  • Pharmaceutical interventions for premature ejaculation (09:20)
  • Getting to the root cause of premature ejaculation (10:40)
  • Balancing porn and masturbation: the positive and negative aspects (12:56)
  • A guideline as to what is healthy versus unhealthy regarding porn and masturbation (17:09)
  • Getting to the next level of understanding sexuality and achieving mutual pleasure (25:18)
  • Is cunnilingus a current and recommended tool? (27:20)
  • Understanding the clitoris/female genitalia and stimulation (30:33)
  • Introducing the subject of cunnilingus and how to approach it (32:43)
  • Relaxing into the act of cunnilingus - slow and rhythmic (40:45)
  • Changing or increasing the pressure as a woman gets more aroused (42:15)
  • The myth of doing oral sex as if you are following the alphabet, a routine (43:55)
  • The best ways to connect with Ian to learn more about him and his work (44:45)
  • Recommendations for advice in this area (45:16)
  • Top three recommendations for men to improve the sexuality aspect of their life (45:56)
Give some love to Ian Kerner on Twitter to thank him for the advice in this interview.
Click Here to let him know you enjoyed the show!

Items Mentioned in this Episode include:

Books, Courses and Training from Ian Kerner

Full Text Transcript of the Interview

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