Ep. #60 Why Nice Guys Are Actually Nasty Guys with Dr. Robert Glover

Ep. #60 Why Nice Guys Are Actually Nasty Guys with Dr. Robert Glover

Ep. #60 Why Nice Guys Are Actually Nasty Guys with Dr. Robert Glover
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I'm sure by now you have heard that girls don't like nice guys. You probably have heard it's a lot to do with attraction. It's become a real kind of cliché. Movies, magazines, and TV - they push all sorts of distorted and bastardized ideas around it. It's what I'd call a big information mess.

So all of this attention on this idea has not really helped many men or women understand it. It's poorly explained, if at all when it is discussed. And depending on who is talking about it, they push a different idea of what it actually means.

As a consequence, most people don't have a very clear idea of what it means, and its usefulness as a concept gets lost. Worse, it becomes detrimental with you trying to avoid being nice at all, and that can really start screwing with the good and positive parts of your personality; and your confidence, self-esteem, and inner game can really suffer to.

So today is clean up and clarify what a nice guy really is, and importantly, investigate why the nice guy, in fact, is not really nice at all. He's pretty nasty underneath. Once you understand this, any confusion about whether you are being too nice to women will be cleared up. More importantly, you will be able to look at yourself and see if you have any of those nasty nice guy qualities that need some attention and work.

The guest today is Dr. Robert Glover. He's the man that originally popularized the idea of the nice guy back in the year 2001. The New York Times has called Robert a psychology guru. He is the author of the best selling book No More Mr. Nice Guy, which was published back in 2003. He is a certified marriage and family therapist of 30 years experience and has been working on helping men specifically with the nice guy dilemma for over a decade. He also has a lot of his own personal life experience to share, having been married twice.

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Specifically, in this episode you'll learn about:

  • Robert's background (04:05)
  • Becoming a better 'picker' and 'ender' in dating (05:52)
  • Robert's past dating experiences and becoming aware of his own dating approach (09:30)
  • What has become more important in life in terms of dating and relationships (13:37)
  • Being a nice guy: how it is shaped by your past (18:46)
  • Explanation of the nice guy syndrome (20:25)
  • Unconscious behavior of being a nice guy (24:44)
  • Is there a question you can ask yourself regarding nice guy behavior patterns (26:04)
  • Nice guy character traits are actually negative, even nasty (27:55)
  • Compartmentalizing your desires and interests to validate your actions (29:10)
  • Breaking away from the nice guy syndrome by finding safe people you can reveal yourself to (30:50)
  • When nice guys are manipulative and dishonest (34:10)
  • Understanding passive aggressive behavior (35:27)
  • The Victim Puke: Elliot Rodger, repressed anger, and mental illness (40:05)
  • Are pickup artists fueling the negative side of nice guy syndrome? (48:50)
  • Actionable steps to take to start stepping out of the nice guy syndrome (54:12)
  • The process of consciousness: becoming an accurate and non-judgmental observer of yourself (58:42)
  • Robert's best experience with a woman (1:02:53)
  • Recommendation for high quality advice for life, dating, sex, and relationships (1:06:03)
  • Top three recommendations to help men get better results with women as fast as possible (1:07:26)
  • Current and upcoming projects (1:08:15)
Give some love to Robert on Twitter to thank him for the advice in this interview.
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Items Mentioned in this Episode include:

Books, Courses and Training from Robert A. Glover

Full Text Transcript of the Interview

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