#110 You're Not Selfish Enough to Date Quality Women with Jessica J

#110 You're Not Selfish Enough to Date Quality Women with Jessica J

#110 You're Not Selfish Enough to Date Quality Women with Jessica J
Press Play and Wait up to 10 Seconds for the Interview to Start Playing
We've looked at in the past how being a leader, being more dominant, and being a decider can be helpful when you're with women. In my experience, this is actually something that men aren't comfortable with. It's something that they don't practically understand, even though we've covered it on this show a fair number of times, and you'll have seen it elsewhere out there in the dating-verse. You can kind of get the concept, but you don't really know how to actually put this into practice when you're meeting women, when you're going on dates, when your taking them home, and even during sex and in relationships.

So today we're going to have a crack at tackling this subject in a super practical way, by looking at it from the perspective of you not being selfish enough. That may not sound politically correct, but it's this kind of mindset that can help guys shift their priorities. It can help you shift your priorities so that you approach women, and your boundaries with women, from a completely different vantage point; a more attractive and a more appropriate vantage point because you have higher standards for yourself.

Often it takes aiming for a more extreme goal to get to a nearer goal. So, for most of you at home, being more selfish is actually going to lead you to be more normal in your interactions with women. We're going to dig into this in much more detail of course in this episode.

This topic came from a recent product that we reviewed on Dating Skills Review. It got an 8.1, which is pretty rare these days, and it means it's an excellent product in our book. It scored really highly for a few reasons. One of these was that it had really actionable advice on being a leader and taking decisions with women. The product is called "Speak To Spark Arousal", and it contains solid advice on attracting women with better conversation skills. You can get our full review and what we think of it at datingskillsreview.com/spark.

The author of "Speak To Spark Arousal”, and today's guest, is Jessica J from Level Up Seduction. There's a few pretty interesting things about her. She was on Nightline a while back for being one of America's most desirable daters, because she had one of the most messaged profiles on OkCupid, and not in any ordinary city. We're talking about Los Angeles here, a pretty competitive place for online dating. She's also a resident dating coach and host of the Playboy radio show - The Couch. So she was a marriage therapist to start with and then she began blogging about her sex life, which soon got her noticed by one of the companies that has porn star sex products. You may have seen some of them on our site. Once they spotted her, they brought her on board to write a good part of their advice. Then after that, she worked with some other well-known companies.

Just in the last year she jumped out on her own to become a dating coach for guys using her own approach to it, which as you'll see kind of combines these two extreme areas; really direct sex advice from a porn star industry perspective and this marriage therapist role.

Today's episode was a little bit more experimental. Let me know how it goes for you guys. We're trying to get at more practical advice. Jessica was really cool with it. She just jumped in with me taking this new approach. I feel like it could help some of you guys really get to understand this stuff better. So let me know your feedback on that if you like today's episode, and we'll do more of it.

Don't Miss New Dating Skills Podcast Episodes

Click here to subscribe and listen to the show on iTunes.

Specifically, in this episode you'll learn about:

  • Jessica's background, including the pornographic industry (05:06)
  • Jessica having the most popular OkCupid profile in L.A. (06:16)
  • The difference between Jessica and other coaches in the dating, sex, and relationships arena (09:23)
  • The biggest myth in dating, sex, and relationships (11:20)
  • The importance for a man to be a leader or a decision maker with women (13:35)
  • Typical issues men have regarding leading or decision making (17:53)
  • The connection between being selfish, knowing what you want, and what you are looking for (20:32)
  • Drawing the line between being selfish and being inconsiderate (25:26)
  • Practical examples of leading and decision making when approaching or meeting women (28:00)
  • How selfishness can work to your advantage when on a date (32:58)
  • How to be selfish when wanting to take a woman home (35:55)
  • Should men be more selfish in sex? (42:48)
  • Should there be selfishness in relationships? (45:50)
  • Cultivating and making selfishness a habit and part of your life (49:40)
  • Advice Jessica offers that is often ignored (51:39)
  • Objections to Jessica's coaching approach to dating, sex, and relationships (54:15)
  • Recommendations for high quality advice in this area (55:53)
  • Top three recommendations for men to improve in dating, sex, and relationships as fast as possible (57:05)
Give some love to Jessica on Twitter to thank her for the advice in this interview.
Click Here to let her know you enjoyed the show!

Items Mentioned in this Episode include:

  • Speak To Spark Arousal: Jessica's program for men to help them attract, meet, and date more women. Rated highly by Dating Skills Review.
  • The Couch: Jessica is the host of this show on playboyradio.com.
  • Jerry Tran (The Asian Playboy): Jessica highly recommends Jerry's (aka J.T.) work and coaching approach.

Books, Courses and Training from Jessica J

Full Text Transcript of the Interview

Click Here to Read Transcript

Leave a Comment or a Question

Comment Rules: You know that James Bond factor? The "cool" factor. That's how we're gonna be - cool. Critical is great, but if you're rude, we'll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text or use your business name as your name, as it looks like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!

Help Us Improve DSR Podcast Interviews for You

DSR Podcast is a weekly podcast where Angel Donovan seeks out and interviews the best experts he can find from bestselling authors, to the most experienced people with extreme dating lifestyles. The interviews were created by Angel Donovan to help you improve yourself as men - by mastering dating, sex and relationships skills and get the dating life you aspire to.

Help us improve the quality of interviews by sending us feedback about what questions you'd like answered or who you'd like to see interviewed.

Contact: feedback@datingskillsreview.com

"Listen In As We Share The Top Takeaways From The Best Dating Products Ever Created... Shave Years Off Your Learning Curve As You Discover What Really Creates Success With Women"

    Here's just a few things we reveal in this info-packed interview:
  • The surefire products that are proven to work - based on 15+ years coaching men to dating success.
  • Why we dubbed this one product 'idiot-proof' and how it can transform a woman's reaction to you almost immediately.
  • Feel anxious about approaching women? Discover how to bypass that and set up a stream of dates with gorgeous women in as little as 20 minutes a week.
Dating Skills Review has been featured or quoted in:
Press
Press