#121 When Men Misinterpret Why Women Have Sex with David M. Buss

#121 When Men Misinterpret Why Women Have Sex with David M. Buss

#121 When Men Misinterpret Why Women Have Sex with David M. Buss
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We are going to be looking at some of the biggest misunderstandings men have about women when it comes to two areas:

1) Why women have sex / when and why they desire sex?
2) When women are interested in sex or not / when they're interested in you or not.

We're looking at this subject from a scientific research perspective today with one of the most recognized scientist working in this area. This is an interview I've been wanting to do for quite a while now, so I'm really happy to have this guest on today’s show.

Today's guest is Professor David M. Buss. He's one of the founders of the field of Evolutionary Psychology. He has authored or co-authored over 250 studies in the area. David has taught at Berkeley, Harvard University, the University of Michigan, and the University of Texas. His primary research focus is on strategies of human mating, including studies on mate selection, tactics of male attraction, infidelity, tactics of mate retention (e.g. keeping the girl), tactics of mate poaching (e.g. stealing the girl), and the mating emotions of jealousy, lust, and love.

He's also the author of several well-known books looking at the mating dynamics. All of these books are a really thorough look at the subject, so a good place to start also. I've read all of them, in some cases many years ago. These books are: Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between), another one is The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating, and another one is The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is Necessary in Love and Sex.

There are some great "ah ha" moments from this interview and takeaways that will probably make you rethink some of your past experiences with women, and see them in a new light, a clearer light. One of my takeaways was that men may need to pay a lot more attention to remaining objective about things when they’re around beautiful women.

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Specifically, in this episode you'll learn about:

  • How David became interested in this topic and area (04:25)
  • David's current view of the whole area of mating, sexual strategies, etc. Is the view from a combination of the evolutionary / psychology aspect or is there a different view considering all of David's work? (07:15)
  • An explanation of EPC - Extra Pair Copulation (12:00)
  • David's current relationship and social lifestyle, and his personal perspective (12:55)
  • Common misunderstandings about Evolutionary Psychology and how it applies to sex and mating strategies in the media, publications, etc. (14:05)
  • A trend in low testosterone and the modification of testosterone levels in men to improve their libido and psychology (18:25)
  • The most uncomfortable research conclusions David has come across (20:00)
  • Long term mating relationships versus short term mating relationships (23:38)
  • The most common or biggest misperceptions of sexual interest (e.g. when women are showing interest, or not, in men): sexual overperception bias (25:08)
  • Underlying sexual motivations of women (30:10)
  • Is diversity and the sexual motivations of women driven by psychological differences, biological differences, situational differences, or social economics? (36:54)
  • The variability of a woman's sexual motivations from day to day (41:14)
  • Sexual exploitability cues regarding short term and long term mating (45:38)
  • How men misinterpret signals from women that lead to misunderstanding (51:09)
  • How to connect with David to learn about more about him and his work (55:14)
  • Recommendations for quality advice and knowledge in dating, sex, and relationships (56:30)
  • Recommendations for guys wanting to improve this aspect of their lives - quality satisfaction (57:56)
Give some love to David on Twitter to thank him for the advice in this interview.
Click Here to let him know you enjoyed the show!

Items Mentioned in this Episode include:

Books, Courses and Training from David M. Buss

Full Text Transcript of the Interview

Click Here to Read Transcript

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