Ep. #57 Candid Insights from the Male Stripper Lifestyle with Landon Foxx

[Landon Foxx]: In the beginning, I was, to kind of give you a little background on myself, I was pretty shy. All the way through high school, I was pretty quiet, shy. I certainly didn't have any game with women. It's something that I always aspired to.

I always wanted to. I sat there for a number of years and watched life go by and seeing other people doing and getting what I wanted. I made up my mind that I was going to flip the switch.

I saw your quote this morning about Marcus Aurelius saying your thoughts dictate your life. I changed my whole thought process. I got tired of, in my eyes, coming up short, failing, striking out with women. I flipped the whole switch.

I created another identity. I don't mean that in a psychologically weird way. I mean that in a very positive way. I looked at what I wanted to be. I started from ground zero and I created it.

[Angel Donovan]: That's interesting. When did that start? Was there a specific moment when you said that to yourself?

[Landon Foxx]: There was actually a couple. Not to get too in-depth, but I was in college. I was so frustrated with going to bars with my buddies. They would all hook up and I just couldn't seem to put it together.

There was one buddy of mine, a roommate of mine, and the joke was I'd buy them drinks and he'd take them home. I said "This is fucked up, man. I'm changing this. One way or another, if these fuckers can do it, no way I can't do it."

I just flipped the switch mentally. The change is something that can happen overnight, but the process, it takes a while. It's not something you can...it's something you have to grow into. It's a whole new identity. It's a whole new way of looking at things.

[Angel Donovan]: It sounds like what you did is you put yourself in a completely different environment and that changed you. Or was there some part of you that was already changing before that? Or would you say the environment is mostly what changed you?

[Landon Foxx]: I think events like that night in college when all my buddies hooked up and went home, and I was just sitting there on the park bench when the bars closed. I was just sitting there by myself. That's when I made a conscious decision to change the results I was getting.

One way or another, as long as it effen took, I was going to figure this out. I was going to come up with a recipe that put me where I wanted to be. That was square one. That was step one.

Then the opportunity came along to start in the entertained business. And what that did was just open the opportunities. It's a very, very target rich environment.

I guess I always make it a joke too about buses and women. You missed that one, another one will be along in 10 minutes. That's literally what it was. As many times as I failed in the beginning or did something wrong, I learned from it and within a day or two, I was doing another show. I had another opportunity.

I never had long to dwell in my defeats. Believe me, anybody that starts something completely new, you're going to get your ass kicked. You're going to fail. You're going to fall in the dust.

But the best thing that can happen is another 10 minutes later, bam, another opportunity. There you go. You don't have time to think and say "Oh wow, I'm a loser." Fuck that. It's time to go again. Bam, Bam, Bam.

I was getting force fed opportunities. The will was there. The desire to succeed was there. It just was a matter of learning from failures. I just learned.

[Angel Donovan]: How long would you say once you were in the stripping environment, how often were you failing at first? And how long did it take to get over that part of the process?

[Landon Foxx]: I'll give you a little background too. Before I started stripping, I worked a six-month tour on a cruise ship. Actually in my book, I call it my internship. I went from a college guy sitting on the bench when the bars closed to an opportunity to work on a cruise ship.

Now I have the opportunity to go out every night in the clubs. There's passengers and it's an environment where women are on vacation. They're going to do stuff in that environment they're not going to do in their home town.

There I was. My internship was a very opportunity enriched environment as well. I had six months to cut my teeth as a regular guy. I wasn't a striper. I wasn't an entertainer. I wasn't a rock star.

I was just a regular guy working on a ship. I got six months to work out some of the kinks and then once I started stripping, I don't want to say it's fail safe. But it's pretty hard to fail when you're up on stage in front of 600, 800 women and you're a rock star. In a small, toned down way, it's pretty hard...

The opportunities that you get. Anyone who's an athlete or a musician or anyone that's in the limelight can tell you about the power of the stage. Even doing a private party in someone's living room, you are the center of attention. The women sense, just the fact that you're there, and you're able to do that, you have mad confidence.

You have big balls. Just to be able to go into someone's living room and rip your shirt off in front of 25 women. That right there says you're not the average guy. Right there, they are attracted to that. If there's one thing I could say about the most important thing, the biggest takeaway of what I from stripping is confidence.

It's the deal sealer. It is the equalizer. If you have nothing else, but you have confidence, you're 90% there.

[Angel Donovan]: Obviously you know a lot of the guys who are stripping, and also the girls who are stripping, because it's like a stripping community. Do all of them have a lot of confidence, or does it vary, from your perspective?

[Landon Foxx]: It varies. I've seen a lot of, and this is pretty common knowledge, a lot of times people who are in entertainment, comedians, dancers, whatever that have to get up on stage, they have to have a few drinks. Or they have to have a little something, or whatever they do to get them in the mode. That never was really part of my mojo.

I got off on the adrenaline rush and just the excitement of it. Being a sex symbol and going out and being able to have pretty much anything I wanted in that room, that's what got me off. A lot of people that I worked with or have known, have to have some sort of equalizer, be it alcohol, be it some sort of a drug. I'm passing no judgment here.

But the level of confidence, it's hard to judge because anybody with six shots of whiskey, most people can do almost anything with that equalizer. To say they had the confidence without that, hard to say. I think you have to have a base level of confidence. A lot of people, as I said, that I've seen in the business, male and female, they have to have that little thing to take the edge off.

Most of my performance, I've been sober. There's been occasions when I've done big shows or I've had a shot and a beer or something like that just before I go out on stage. I don't need it but I've done it. It makes everything flow just a little bit smoother.

As far as confidence, I've always said if you can't do it sober, you shouldn't be doing it.

[Angel Donovan]: Would you say, have you seen the guys with different levels of confidence, are the ones who are less confidence getting the same success with women? You're saying it's pretty easy in that environment to hook up with women and so on. Are you seeing different levels of that?

I noticed in the book there was one guy, he didn't seem to get as much luck as some of the other guys. What was that about? It's obviously not just the stripping environment and the status of being on the stage. There's a bit more to it. So like you're saying, is it a confidence level or are there some other things too?

[Landon Foxx]: It's absolutely the confidence level. All things being equal, which usually they are pretty much. Let's say I'm doing a show with five other guys. There are six of us total. All of us, looks wise, we're all pretty good looking guys, generally speaking, we're all on the same level. A darker guy, whatever.

All things being equal, we're all pretty much an the alpha level, as far as looks, body. At that point, that's where personality and you're own flavor, you're own intelligence, you're own personality comes into it. I've had situations where I've been at a show, for example. I'm with five other great looking guys.

They'll all go up to somebody and try to talk to them. For whatever reason, at the end of the night, the girl will come over to me and say "What are you doing later?" And I'm thinking, okay, I haven't even talked to you the whole night. Why are you talking to me?

A lot of it is personality. All things being equal, looks-wise, I think personality and your wit, your flavor, that all comes into it. That plays a big role in it.

I had a lot of very attractive women come up to me and say "You know what? These other five jackasses hit on me all night long. I like you." Why is that? Sometimes I think it had a lot to do with they wanted a challenge as well.

If you ignore a hot girl, you're the only one who ignored her. She says "What's this guy got? He's so bad, he can ignore me? The rest of these guys are on their knees. They want me. I don't want them. I want him."

I've had that happen many times, more than I can count.

[Angel Donovan]: Great. Let's take a step back a bit. How many women would you say you've slept with?

[Landon Foxx]: I can't throw Wilt Chamberlain numbers at you, but I would say definitely triple digits. Four, five hundred, somewhere in that range. 600 maybe. Probably on the higher end. Mid to high end of triple digits. I'm not in four digits. I'd say probably 500-700, somewhere in that range.

[Angel Donovan]: Before stripping, what was that total like? And before the cruise ship.

[Landon Foxx]: Before the cruise ship, it would have been probably single digits. Seven, eight, six, five, I don't know.

[Angel Donovan]: Were those one-night stands, relationships?

[Landon Foxx]: They were pretty short. Let's say short-term relationships. Maybe a few one-night stands. But once I got on the cruise ship, the numbers definitely went up. Non only that, more than anything I started to develop my mojo, develop my identity. The identity I talked about creating before.

I was taking baby steps there. I was crawling. When I got into stripping, the next level, it just opened up. Honestly, when I started stripping, I was looking to stockpile as many sexual experiences as I could possibly have.

[Angel Donovan]: Do you still have that exact same mindset today, or have things changed over time? How old were you when you got into this?

[Landon Foxx]: I got into it when I was, wow, it was after college and I waited about a year, so I was probably about 24. I'm 40 now, so I've been doing it for 15 years.

[Angel Donovan]: Give us an idea of what, in this past 15 years, what's a typical week like and what are some more unusual weeks?

[Landon Foxx]: A typical week? There's really two types of schedules I guess you could say. I've gone on tour and I've also been in one city and done private parties. I'll give you the private party scenario first because that's what I started with.

When I started, I started in San Diego. Actually, a girlfriend of mine at the time, had started before me. It was kind of my idea. She took it and ran with it.

When I got back from the cruise ship, she said "If you want to start doing this, I've got all the connections." Bam. So I was dialed in when I got back from the cruise ship.

What that entails is typically your parties are going to be on the weekend, Friday and Saturday. Occasionally, you can have very odd...you'll get a birthday party on a Monday night. You'll get a bachelorette on a Wednesday night. You can get these parties, girl's night out, on a Tuesday night.

It can happen, but typically Friday and Saturday, that's when your shows are going to be concentrated. What I've done when I started out was getting on the call list of as many agencies as were in the area and developing a reputation as professional, as honest, as reliable. A lot of people treat it as a big party.

To me, I treat it as a business. I train like a professional athlete. I don't look my age at all. I'm probably one of the most year round. I don't ever go off and get fat. I'm always the same 6%, 7% body fat.

I'm six feet tall. I've gone from 190 to 205. I'm always very lean. I treat it like being an athlete. It's about making money to me. It's always been a business. Have I always enjoyed it and had fun with it? Absolutely.

[Angel Donovan]: Is it unusual for someone to stay in for 16 years? Do you see a lot of people come and go in a few months or maybe a year?

[Landon Foxx]: I've worked and trained with many people that just did it for a little while. For me, I'll be honest. The reason I stayed in it so long was not only because of the money, but because of the freedom. I'm not a nine to five, work for somebody else kind of guy.

I just cannot do it. I've had a number of business. I've owned eight properties with money that I had made over the years. I invested in real estate. I ended up losing it, but I had eight properties in four or five different states. I had a car business, bought and sold used cars at auctions. I had a fitness, nutrition and training business for years.

[Angel Donovan]: So you have quite a bit of free time during the week to do this kind of stuff, right?

[Landon Foxx]: Right.

[Angel Donovan]: You were saying earlier a lot of the work is focused on the weekend.

[Landon Foxx]: Yes exactly. Sometimes you have very weird weeks where I'm on call all the time. I could get a call from an agency and say "Hey, we have a birthday party at 10 in the morning at a doctor's office." I say "Sure, I can do it. No problem." I'll go in and I'll do it.

Typically, most of the work is going to be on the weekends. A Friday night is usually a little bit less than a Saturday night. Usually, maybe one or two, sometimes three shows on a Friday. A good Saturday night is typically four shows. Some Saturdays are one show. Some Saturdays I've had as many as six.

Typically, it'll be maybe one or two on a Friday, three or four on a Saturday. It's pretty hectic when you're going. Everybody typically wants their show at 8 or 9 so they can have it and then they go out to the bars afterwards.

A lot of times, especially in a big city, the driving is the hardest part of it, getting to the places on time.

[Angel Donovan]: How long does a show last? You get there, you got half an hour to set up?

[Landon Foxx]: There's really not much set up. I come in the costume. I roll up, call the girl "I'm here." She'll come out and take care of the agency fee. I give her my music. She goes back inside, puts the music on.

If they want a cop, I'll come to the door and knock on the door. "Hey, the music's too loud. You got to turn it down." They'll make me come back. They'll turn the music up, then I'll obviously kick the door in and go into my routine.

Typically on a Saturday, a good Saturday is four shows, five shows.

[Angel Donovan]: You do four or five shows on a Saturday?

[Landon Foxx]: Yes. In order to do that, you have to have a couple of them close together, starting at 6:30 or 7. You got an 8. Then you got to make a 9:30. Then you have a 10 or 10:30, and then you got maybe a midnight.

[Angel Donovan]: Right. How long does it last? You dance for 15, 20 minutes and then...?

[Landon Foxx]: It depends. A typical party is about 30 or 45 minutes. Once you go through the dancing, you play some games, do some body shots, just goof around, play around. They take pictures. By that time, everybody's gotten what they wanted and they're done.

Sometimes they'll be done in 15 minutes. Sometimes, a lot of times, it's usually about 30, 35.

[Angel Donovan]: What happens? How do you hook up with girls? Is it afterwards, or is it sometimes started during? How does all that go down?

[Landon Foxx]: I think almost every scenario you can imagine has probably happened. I've been doing a show for a bachelorette. The room is full of her friends. I'm dancing for her. She will just yank my shorts down and just start going to town orally.

It's just like, okay. Far be it from me to stop you. Okay. I guess this is where this is going.

That can happen. It's not something like...I'm there to do a job. I'm there to make my money primarily. That's number one. Obviously, be professional. Make sure everybody has a good time.

I want to get rebooked. I want to keep working for this agency. I don't want any problems. And that's something I've always taken a lot of pride in, being professional. I have my fun but I do it discreetly.

If a girl does that in the middle of a party. Well, you know what? She did it. If her friends see it, I didn't initiate it. Whatever.

[Angel Donovan]: How often would you say the girls make a move. Obviously, that's a girl making a move on you. But there's also different types of moves they can make on you. How often is it the girl that takes the initiative?

[Landon Foxx]: That's rare. That kind of gets me into something that I have learned by being a male entertainer. There are women almost at every party, and I can pick them out. I can spot them a mile away. They're ready to be naughty. They want to do it. They want to do something.

But a lot of times, it'll be an issue of they don't want to be the one that gets caught doing it. Or they're worried about what their friends are going to say. They're worried about, oh, I don't want to be the whore. Whoops, can't do that.

You see the spirit's there. They're definitely willing. And that's where, if you are so inclined, you need to initiate or, shall I say, facilitate that to happen. That's where you need to be discrete and you need to just say something to them on the side, maybe give them your number. "Hey, call me later."

It's like they want to but you've got to give them an environment where it's going to be acceptable to do it. And that means, most of the time, with as few of their friends, people, or mother-in-law, or whoever's at the party, as few of those people knowing that it's happened.

[Angel Donovan]: Let's back up a bit. How do you see who's up for it?

[Landon Foxx]: Very good question. It's something I've learned to recognize. When I say the eyes never lie, a girl can be looking at you and her mouth can be saying "Fuck you. I don't even want to see you again."

But her eyes will tell you exactly what she want to do. The eyes don't lie. The mouth can lie.

The mouth can call you all sorts of names. "Oh, I wouldn't touch you." They eyes will tell you if they are ready to go. That's what I look for.

A lot of times, obviously, the looks will come with words, with "Can I take you home?" "What are you doing later?" Things like that'll.

It'll come with that. It's a no brainier at that point. But the eyes never lie. A woman's eyes will tell you if you can have sex with her or not in 10 seconds, 5 seconds.

I've learned to spot it. In these environments, especially when people are drinking, it's even more obvious.

[Angel Donovan]: When you're saying there's one or two of these at each party, can you give us a rough idea? Each party you go to, is it one in 10 girls?

[Landon Foxx]: It's probably somewhere close to that. I would say at the average party, let's take a round number. Let's say there's 20 girls at this average party. I would say there's probably one or two that are going to be flashing green lights.

[Angel Donovan]: Is there anything you've noticed over time, what makes them flashing green lights?

[Landon Foxx]: A lot of times you'll hear side comments from their friends, like "Oh, there she goes again." "Wow, check it out." You can tell.

You can hear the little side comments like she's a fun girl. She's a "crazy girl." She's the fun one. You can pick up on it.

And obviously the body language and, as I said, the eyes. Just the way they relate to you.

[Angel Donovan]: Are they confident girls in general?

[Landon Foxx]: Yes. Or at least liquid courage. The type that needs to drink to be this way. Sometimes I think it's almost a need for attention from their friends, even though it might be negative attention that oh, they hooked up with a stripper.

You know what? It's still attention. It's very interesting psychologically to study the party girls. They are the ones that want to stand out.

They want the attention, like "Oh I went home with him," or "I sucked his dick" or whatever it might be. It's very interesting. Let's just say in that typical 20 crowd, I'd say there's one or two that will be the flashing green.

There's probably maybe another three or four that with a bit of work, in the right circumstances, maybe even more than that. If the opportunity was there, and they could get away with it without anybody knowing. If the circumstances were right, they'd go for it.

Then there's probably a certain percentage, the majority probably, that have boyfriends, that just aren't going to. It would have to be a very, very special circumstance for them to do something like that.

Like no one would ever have the chance to find out. At every party, there's definitely the green lighters. I call them the green lighters because, bam, they are flashing green.

[Angel Donovan]: When you're meeting these girls, I noticed in the book that it seemed to go down in a similar fashion. I'll explain the dynamic. It's like you would walk up and you'd say something pretty discrete, like you said. But also very direct. It's just very direct, like "Do you want my number?" or "Meet me outside afterwards."

Sometimes it's kind of like you're leading, saying "Hey, meet me in this place afterwards. Meet me behind afterwards."

It seemed like a lot of the time, the girls weren't saying much back. They would just nod, but they weren't really very verbal. It seemed like they were very nervous, the way it came across in the book. What would you say is the typical dynamic?

[Landon Foxx]: Good question. A lot of times, I think they're probably surprised. They're like, wow. I've gotten this a lot, like "You're picking me? Seriously?" They almost don't believe it's happening.

I'm like "No, yeah. I like what I see. You like what you see. Let's do this. Let's not fuck around here. You like me and I like you. Let's do this."

The whole dynamic is, obviously, you're coming in as a fantasy guy. You're the cop, whatever you are. A fantasy guy. You don't look like the guy at 7 11. You don't look like their husband or their boyfriend. You're a fantasy guy.

For them, that jump between "Okay, this is really going to happen." The jump to that, a lot of them will talk the talk, but they don't really think it's going to happen.

Then when I call them on it, a lot of times, their first reaction is their eyes get really big and they're like "You want to be with me? For real? Seriously?" I'm like "Yeah. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. Yeah, I'm saying it."

I think it's surprise and then a lot of times they'll nod. I always say it in kind of a quiet whisper in their ear kind of way. It's like I'm here to dance for everybody, but now, this is just you and I talking. I selected you. You won the lottery. You're number's getting picked.

So I'm just talking to you on the side, I'm whispering to you. It's just kind of between you and I. It's creating that little bridge, that little connection. Now it's you and I here.

I want to meet you later. What's your number?

[Angel Donovan]: Is there a period of hanging out? Do you hang with her for a while or is it just pure sex? Is it like sex, bam, gone?

[Landon Foxx]: Good question. A lot times, especially on tour, when you're in these small towns, you select the girl you're going to be with. Okay, tonight's your night. You win.

They'll want to parade you around town. They'll want to take you to all the bars and say "Check this out." I don't play that game.

I was warned a long time ago by guys when I first started. They're like after the show, make the deal with the girl you want and get her back to the hotel room. Don't fuck around. Don't go around where they're going to bring you into all these bars where obviously other guys are like "Who the fuck's this guy?" There's going to be problems.

What I always do is the least amount. First of all, I have to get up in the morning. I have to go work out. I'm a busy guy.

I'd like to have fun with you, so let's go have fun. Do I want to dance with you all night? No. I just danced for two hours. If you want to have sex, let's go have sex.

I've danced. I don't want to dance. I don't want to drink. Let's go have sex. I pretty much cut to the chase and that's what it's about.

If they want some kind of a romance that they're going to get from some regular guy, I don't have time for that.

[Angel Donovan]: Does that happen often? Do you get rejections or do you get push backs?

[Landon Foxx]: Yes, it's funny. That's a really good question. I'll tell you something. Being a male entertainer, it gave me the opportunity times a million.

But as much as it gets you in the door, a lot of times, it will kick back on you. Especially when the alcohol starts to wear off on their part, they'll start to think about it. Or maybe their friends will say something like "Oh he must be with everybody. Can you imagine how many girls he fucks in a month?"

Somebody will get in her head, either a friend or maybe their own conscience. Who knows, but it will actually kick back that I am a male entertainer. Just even as a good looking guy. And I've gone out regularly.

I don't walk up to girls and say "Hey, I'm a stripper." I never say it. As a regular guy, even as a good looking guy, you will get girls that will say "Wow, you must hook up all the time. You must have girls all over."

They sense that okay, I'm not special. Well you know what? I guess if you want to say that, you're probably not because there's going to be another one of you tomorrow night. Yeah, you're right.

Okay, but tonight is your night. So do you want to enjoy it? Do you want to take it for what it's worth, enjoy it for what it's worth? This is what it is.

[Angel Donovan]: You sound like you're very straightforward in conversations. How often does this work out or how often does the girl say no, that's not for me.

[Landon Foxx]: Like I said, there is a kick-back factor. Being a stripper, it puts you in a lot of great situations but it also can kick back on you where they realize "Holy shit. This guy must do this all the time. He can have anything he wants. I'm not special." They want to reach for the rip cord.

It does kick back. I would say it's in favor of success, obviously. I'd say probably 75% success rate. Maybe even more than that, maybe 80%, 85%. You've got maybe a 20% fallout on the fact that "Oh I'm going home with a stripper. He must do this all the time." Their own mind starts putting up road blocks.

Has it blown things it up? Yes it has. The success rate is obviously, and this is not just being a stripper. When you go out on a scene, and you create the sexy guy image, or that's who you are.

I'm not saying create something you're not, but when you actually grow into and become a sexy guy, women can look at you and they can justify fucking you one time to their friends. They can say "Well, look at him. I don't normally do this but once in a lifetime."

If you qualify as that sexy guy, and obviously as a stripper, you would, that's a given right there. If you qualify, if you fall into that category, women will justify that to their friends. I've seen it a million times. They say "I don't normally do this. Well, it's just you."

If you qualify as that exception, you're not the normal guy. Even if they get called a whore by their friends, they're going to say "Wait a minute. Look. Did you see him?" Once in a while it does kick back on you, but your odds are greatly in favor of falling into that exception category, and women will justify the one night stand.

[Angel Donovan]: If you look at the demographics, using a big word, but basically the characters of the girls, the types of girls there are, like social status--age, education, cities. Are there any patterns of the girls that are at these kinds of events, or that are susceptible in these events? Are there any patterns you see or is it really all across the board, like all social status, all education levels, all age? Obviously, there's some limit on age, but give some idea.

[Landon Foxx]: Right. Age wise, 18 to 80, blind, crippled or crazy. All kinds.

[Angel Donovan]: You've been a stripper for a 70 year old?

[Landon Foxx]: I did an 80th birthday a couple years ago.

[Angel Donovan]: Wow.

[Landon Foxx]: Actually, the woman couldn't have been cooler. She said "Hey come here. I don't want anyone to see this." She takes my hand. She slips a hundred into my hand.

Yeah. 18-year-old birthday parties. 80-year-old birthday parties.

As far as the demographics, on tour it's a lot of working women--nurses, health care practitioners, just working. A lot of times they'll come out together. An office will come out. All the girls that work together will come out together.

I would say there's probably not too many women with doctorate degrees at these shows. I Wouldn't say that it doesn't happen. I'd say the majority falls into the working, middle-class.

[Angel Donovan]: You were talking a little bit about the cities and smaller towns. That seems to be quite different. Is it?

[Landon Foxx]: Yeah. Actually on tour, the smaller towns are usually the better shows because there's not else going on out there. If you do to Broken King, Nebraska, they'll be bus loads coming in, especially at a casino. They'll make it an event and you'll have bus loads.

I did a show on a Mother's Day out by the Canadian border in Idaho. [Coeur d'Alene] Idaho, at the Coeur d'Alene Casino in Idaho. There was close to 2,000 women there.

The smaller areas, you're going to get people coming in bus loads. Big cities, not so much because there's much more to do. I think there is some sort of a connection as far as women who are probably more worldly, highly educated, doctorate degrees, that are less interested in that type of entertainment.

I don't want to be too general here but I think your middle class is where--and in the smaller towns you will get less economically advantaged. You'll get women that come and say "Wow, you should have saved that money and gone to the dentist." You'll get that in the smaller towns.

As a performer, I treat everybody equally. Just be cool to everybody. I treat people the way they treat me. I don't care how somebody looks. If they're cool and respectful, I'll give them a hug. I'll hang out with them.

Obviously, it's about money. It's about tipping. But as far as treating people on the surface--you have teeth, you don't have teeth, whatever. As long as you're a cool person, as long as you don't slap me, as long as you don't do something inappropriate, as long as you're cool to me, I'm cool to everyone.

[Angel Donovan]: Is there anything you've noticed that women really get into in terms of the shows and what's going on? You know you have different things you use like props, uniforms, and different behaviors and so on.

Over the years, like 16 years of experience, what have you noticed in terms of what really gets the women more into it? What kind of ideas around the area do you have?

[Landon Foxx]: I think all women, especially the women that are going to these shows, they all have an image of an idea guy. It might be a character from a movie, let's just say as an example Top Gun navy pilot. They loved Maverick in Top Gun.

If you're the guy that comes out in the white suit with the aviator shades, it doesn't matter what your name is. They love you. That's it. Period. You're in. You're done. Done.

I think every woman has an ideal, and obviously, a type. Some women are going to look right through me and they're going to look at some guy with long blond hair that looks like a surfer. That's their ideal image, in terms of body type, in terms of look.

I think every women definitely has a type. Maybe it's the image of the fireman. The rugged fireman with a 5 o'clock shadow, all hot and sweaty, coming to rescue them. It might be that.

Or it might be, as I said, Top Gun, or it might be a surfer. Whatever that ideal image is, if you're that guy, pretty much it's yours to lose. As long as you don't do anything major stupid, as long as you don't really fuck it up, you're pretty much in in terms of tipping, after the show, whatever.

If you're that guy it's yours to lose. I don't know the best way I can describe that. Obviously, you'll know when you're that guy. They come up to you and you know.

[Angel Donovan]: That sounds great, man. You've been in this for a long time. If you look back, how have your ideas of women changed over the time, from before you got into all of this, and where they are today? Could you take us on a little journey of what you think?

[Landon Foxx]: As I said, when I started out, I was shy, introverted. I always wanted to be successful with women. But I didn't have a clue. I didn't have an older brother, I really didn't have anyone to teach me. I had to learn on my own.

There's something I want to say here, and this is definitely true. A buddy of mine quoted this, and I couldn't agree with him more. He said 10 percent of the male population gets 90 percent of the action. 90 percent of the male population struggles for the 10 percent, the crumbs.

So in the beginning, I was a 90 percenter. I was doing everything. I didn't know what I was doing. I was struggling. I was stumbling. I was a 90 percenter, struggling for the crumbs.

And then I reached a point, and I made the conscious decision I was going to flip the switch. I was going to flip my though process and I was going to create the persona which became my stripping identity, essentially.

I thought like a 10 percenter. I thought that way ever since. Have I toned it down? When I first got into the business, I was hog wild.

Now, I've got other businesses. I don't have time, honestly. There was point where it was a full-time job just keeping track of all the women that I met at the shows on the weekends.

It was setting up the dates to see them again. It was a full-time job. At some point, I had to phase out of it.

I guess what I'm saying is I used to view women as a 90 percenter would view them. Now I viewed them for a long time since I've been in the stripping business as a 10 percenter. I've been with women after shows that, looking back when I was that 90 percenter, I couldn't even have fathomed that I would be having sex with that woman, like "Are you kidding me? Wow. How do you do that?"

It was almost like chemistry in Chinese. I had no clue. Once I started thinking a different way--and as I said before, confidence is huge. Huge--is one word.

The next question is how do you develop confidence? What is confidence? There's a million ways to go with that. I guess what I'm saying is when I started out, how I viewed women a lot of times--they seemed unapproachable. It seemed like I didn't have a shot, like something that was untouchable.

Over the course of of stripping and being in the business, I realized it's really the mindset that changes. My physicality didn't change that much from when I was a 90 percenter to a 10 percenter. It was what was in my head that changed.

[Angel Donovan]: When you go out and you meet women, outside of stripping. Put the stripping aside and look at the rest of your lifestyle. When you meet women outside of stripping and they don't know you're a stripper, do you approach them in the same way as you do when you're at a stripper event? Or is it different and does it go down differently? Are you a different person, or are you the same person?

[Landon Foxx]: That's a very good question. When I'm in the working mode, I'm approaching. I'm talking to everybody.

[Angel Donovan]: You have an excuse because you're supposed to be talking with everyone, right?

[Landon Foxx]: Exactly. You're using the shotgun approach. You're going after everybody.

Some are going to love you. Some aren't and you got to find those that love you, because obviously those are the ones who are going to tip you. And who knows, if they're attractive and it goes any further. Or it can go further, I should say.

Away from it, it's like I have that gear because I developed it and I honed it. I have that gear but when I'm out just regularly, do I live in that gear? No, I don't.

I can always--a lot of the skills that I picked up and perfected in the business--like I talked about the eyes. Spotting a women that you can see, and the eyes will never lie. They'll tell you if a woman will sleep with you in the first 10 seconds.

You can see it in their face. You can see it, and especially if you talk to them for a few minutes, you can tell. This is a green light, this is a red light.

That I've kept. It's just part of me now. But am I in that approaching, aggressive mode all the time like I would be if I was working. No I'm not.

It's a switch. It's a gear I can always go into, but it's not something--like I said, I don't live in it. It's nice to know it's there. It's nice to know if I want to go into that gear, I can.

[Angel Donovan]: That's great. It gives us a good idea. It just seems like most of the time, you keep it separate a little bit, but you still got the skills.

Have you had relationships since stripping? It sounded like you might be dating multiple girls a while back. Can you give us a little idea of your relationships since this whole thing started? Outside of stripping, what kinds of relationships do you have with women?

[Landon Foxx]: When I started, my objective was to have as many experiences as I possibly could. It was hog wild. It was on.

Over the course of time, I had girlfriends. Two of the three serious ones, they also were in the business. So we kind of had an understanding. To some degree, they were kind of open relationships, because when you're in the business, you realize how things can develop. Threesomes, parties, orgies, et cetera--things like that can just happen.

That touches on a lot of sensitive areas, I'm sure. These relationship I was in, they were fairly open because these people were also in the business and they kind of knew how things went.

In terms of my perspective, being an entertainer, especially starting out as one who wanted to experience it all and as many women as possible kind of deal, I developed that--okay, that didn't work out. Onto the next.

In terms of my willingness to work on a relationship, I'm not saying I'm proud of it but it definitely made me very callous, probably. If the person I was dating was giving me a hard time--whatever. It was just like you know what, I'm not even going to bother working on this because there's 20 deep lines up outside. You know what? You go on with that.

It created a great opportunity for me to accomplish what I wanted to do was to experience as many women as possible. But it also made me very difficult to have a real relationship because it's not a real existence. It's a surreal existence.

How many guys, I don't care how good looking or whatever you are, have that many opportunites just thrown at you, falling out of the sky. So to work on a real relationship, I went back and yeah, there were some good people that I really give a fair chance to, I'm sure.

[Angel Donovan]: So the girl who wasn't in the industry, in the stripper community, what was her background and how did that work out?

[Landon Foxx]: Actually, both girls I met at shows, so they met me at a show. We dated for a while and they obviously knew what they were getting. Probably not the full extent of it, but they knew what I did. In each situation, they came to me and said "I'd like to start doing this. Do you have a problem with it?"

I said "I'll coach you. I'll help you. I'll give you the best knowledge I can based on what I know about the female industry. And the pitfalls you need to avoid."

But I was never jealous. I mean it's like "If you're going to be cool with me doing it, obviously, I feel it's only fair.

[Angel Donovan]: But you said there was one girl, she did not get into the industry, is that right?

[Landon Foxx]: Yeah. I met her--and this actually was fairly recently. I have changed, I have evolved a lot over time as I said. When I first got into it, and for a number of years, it was living the rock star life. A different girl every night.

It honestly got to be like it was a full-time job. I realized I needed to start working on other businesses. I need to start doing other things. That's where I had my fun and it became secondary. Once I started transitioning into other things--I had a whole fitness and nutrition business. I was obviously still dancing, but when I met this woman--

It's not easy. It's definitely not easy. We're not together now, officially. I mean, we still talk. We still keep in touch. We're still great friends.

We care about each other but we're not together. I actually broke it off about a year and a half ago. I said "Look, until I am really out of this business, I cannot be in a real relationship."

[Angel Donovan]: Is that just because you can't be exclusive or--was she okay with your lifestyle? What kinds of challenges were there?

[Landon Foxx]: Lots of challenges because just the nature of the business. You're out there and you do shows. You give your number out for other shows. Girls are going to text you.

They're going to call you sweetie. They're going to call you "Hey sexy." They're going to say--and your girlfriend is sitting there and your phone is blowing up with text messages.

"Hey baby, hey sexy." It's a problem. And even though it's business. I'm not doing things with this person and they're contacting me about their friend's birthday party, or whatever.

Maybe they want to be in my life but I'm not going that direction. But it's difficult. And the business is a surreal life.

For dating somebody who is not in it or has never been in it and doesn't realize--I talk to everybody when I dance for them. I say "Hey baby. How you doing?" They call me sexy, the call me whatever.

It's the little pet names you use. It's just part of the business. I don't love this person. It's a lingo. It's a business.

Someone who hasn't been in it, they look at it on face value like the average person on the street would look at it and go "Wait a minute. This person's calling you sexy." Hey sexy. That's what it is in the club.

That's the way it is at a show. That is not real. That life is not real and then this life is real, so it's hard to explain to somebody. That's why I was saying it's hard to have a real relationship.

I'm not saying it's impossible but it's damn hard. I've been with three, actually four, because the girl that started me in the business, we actually worked together for a while. When she was in it, I was in it.

We had a number of threesomes. We had a number of--she used to bring girls home all the time. She was bisexual so she would share.

[Angel Donovan]: It sounds pretty similar to the--I had one of the top porn stars on here before, Marcus London. It sounds similar to the porn star lifestyle. It's part of the job. That's what people get used to--open relationships and it's just a lot more acceptable.

Obviously, if you're going to date someone outside of that environment, it's going to be pretty difficult because they are going to have different standards and different ideas of reality and how it all works. Do you see people in stripping move on to the porn industry or escort industries? Do you see any links between those industries, out of interest? Or perhaps you socialize more with them?

[Landon Foxx]: I've treated it as a business. It's not really a social connection for me. I have some friends that are in the business. I keep in touch with them but I don't really share a whole lot of other interests with them besides, let's say, working out, fitness and working in the business.

I don't really socialize with a lot of people that I've met in the business. We're cool, we're friends, but it's not--yeah it's acquaintances. I've kept two identities--myself, to the people who have known me my whole life, and I've never changed in terms of getting some kind of a big ego, or this is who I am now.

No it's not. I've always been the same person but I've had the Landon Foxx identity. That's my stripper identity. That's my entertainer.

[Angel Donovan]: So has your circle of friends changed over time? Do you have different friends, or is it really the guys you grew up with and it's all stayed exactly the same? Has anything about your social habits changed as a kind of side effect of the job?

[Landon Foxx]: The people that I've--my lifelong friends, that's never changed. They've always accepted me and it's one of the reasons I wrote my book. I had all these stories and I wanted to share them to those people. They can't even really fathom what--did that happen?

It's a surreal life, so to share it with people that they're my lifelong friends but they've never been in the world of entertaining, so they don't really understand. It's almost like a fantasy world. It is to them.

The other people that are in the world, they get it and they've obviously experienced the same things. My connections with them are really just business. It's cool but I don't socialize with them.

[Angel Donovan]: That's you. If you look at the other male strippers you know, how do they look at this? How is their lifestyle?

Is it different? Is there different patterns or anything interesting about the way guys are living? Are there many people who have been doing it for 10 years and have done a serious kind of business out of it?

[Landon Foxx]: I always treated it like a profession, like a serious--like I said, I train like an athlete. I take it seriously. If someone's paying me to look good, I'm not going to show up looking average.

[Angel Donovan]: Is that unusual or are there a lot of guys who've made a career out of this?

[Landon Foxx]: I would say I'm probably definitely in the minority. I've known a lot of guys who, to them it's more of a party. It's more of hey, I'm going to get drunk anyway so why not get paid for it?

A lot guys see it more as a party. That's where it becomes more of their identity. I'm who I am, and yes, I am and have been a male entertainer, but is that who I am?

No, I'm a lot more than just that. I have different varied interest and circles of friends and whatnot. Whereas a lot of guys who get into it, they maybe stay in it because it's a party and they want to keep partying.

They are around other people who want to be the same thing and don't really encourage them necessarily to branch out or have other interest. I think doing the private parties, you're on your own, an independent contractor. I can go for months without seeing another entertainer if I'm just doing my own private parties.

If I go on tour, obviously I'm living seven day a week with four or five other guys. And that's, you become more intertwined, you become more of family brothers, love hate relationships, whatever.

Then also if you work at a local club--the movie Magic Mike was filmed in a local club where the guys came in and worked every week the same. And that, I think, is where the guys probably become more of their social network. Whereas doing private parties, I can go for months without even seeing another entertainer.

It varies. You can go from one side of the spectrum to the other. In those club environments, and the touring as well, to some degree, it's like you're a family.

You'll go out to eat together, you'll go to a barbecue on a holiday together. It's like a family. I've been part of that for short periods of time. It's cool and it's good.

But I'm also, in a lot of ways, an individual. I kind of seek out my own things as well and not--I've enjoyed that environment, but I also enjoyed kind of being on my own and doing my own thing.

[Angel Donovan]: Are there any things that have generated any negative emotions in you over the years, that made you sad, angry or frustrated with the things about the stripper lifestyle that you haven't liked?

[Landon Foxx]: I think doing the independent contractor thing where you're just doing private parties. It can get very lonely. It definitely can be like--these things happen to you, and as I say in the first part of my book, it's like I wrote the stories to have witnesses, to share my stories.

When you're on your own, people in the real world, it's hard for them to grasp the concept of what you're living.

[Angel Donovan]: How do people react to it? I don't know, your friend or whoever, when you tell them some of the stories, the crazier ones.

[Landon Foxx]: Yeah, they do because they know I'm not going to make it up. I think maybe in the beginning the probably are like "No, come on. That really happened?" In the beginning but after time and repeatedly these things kept happening, and the stories, they think wow, this guy is for real.

[Angel Donovan]: Let's round this off with a crazy story. Which is the most surreal, the one that is like "That was weird." Or like "Wow, I would've never thought that was possible?" or the one that really blew you away.

[Landon Foxx]: There's a bunch. I say it's one of the first ones I wrote about in my book It's called Welcome to America. I was at a college dorm. I won't say where, but it was at a college dorm. It was a birthday party. It was on a Monday night.

I was sitting around just not expecting to do a show and bam, my agency calls me. So I go out and it's a birthday party. I knock on the door. A small little Asian girl opened the door and sort of beckons me in. There's candlelight. I don't hear any noise, I don't hear what's going on.

The birthday girl, this heavy set girl was sitting in the middle of the room and all these girls sitting around her. She was Caucasian. All the other girls I believe were Japanese.

It was at an international university, so these students were from other countries, Asian countries obviously. The lights go on and I start doing the party. This girl, they pulled the blindfold off her and she pretty much just jumps up and tackles me.

So I do the party for this girl. I'm about to leave and I got all my stuff and I'm heading out the door. She pulls me over to the center of the room. I had my pants on at that point. She had some jeans on.

She just pulls them down and just starts working me up. I'm just kind of like, okay. At that point, she's doing her thing for a couple minutes and whatever.

Then, all of the sudden I see all the girls, 15, 16 of them. They just sit in a circle, they kind of take turn rotating. Each girl moves over a chair and blows me for two minutes, I don't know, then moves over and another girl does it.

15, 16 girls, and I guess it was kind of like they looked around and saw their American friend doing it. So they were like "Okay, I guess this is customary. This is what we do in America." I just stood there, within 10 minutes 16 girls just took a turn blowing.

[Angel Donovan]: So it doesn't sound planned at all. It was just like some strange event that--

[Landon Foxx]: No, yeah. I'm just looking and going "Is this really happening?" Another short one, just throwing it in.

Similar situation, birthday girl and she her friend, all the other girls kind of went in the other room. She and her friend, I was on my out. It usually always happens on the way out the door. They kind of pulled me in the corner and started going to town.

One of the girl's Moms walks in the room and just like "Oh, well you girls have fun. I'll be in the other room when you're done." I was just like "That's your Mom. Okay, all right. You guys are on that level, I guess. If you're cool with it, I'm cool with it."

The whole family component was kind of like--this girl is blowing me like a porn star in front of her Mom. I was just like "All right. You guys are okay with it, I'm okay with it."

[Angel Donovan]: It sounds like the home parties are crazier than the large events.

[Landon Foxx]: Yeah. The large events, there's been lots of back room stuff. Girls will come in the dressing rooms, and there's been all sorts of orgies, that kind of stuff going on in the back rooms.

The parties, a lot of times, people are more in their own--yeah, the first one was actually in a dorm room and the second one was in a hotel. So I think with a smaller group and a controlled environment, they're probably a little bit more bold. In a club, you have people walking in and out, you have waitresses, you have bar owners, managers, people--

Some girls, believe me it's happened. They just pull up their dress, pull down their panties and they don't care. It has definitely happened.

I'd say usually the private stuff, people are a little bit bolder I think in their own environment.

[Angel Donovan]: Excellent man. I'm going to leave you with a question everyone gets on this show. What would be your top three recommendations for guys. If they just want to improve their dating, sex and relationship life, the top three recommendations for them to do that as fast as possible.

[Landon Foxx]: The top three. Well, I would say number one, number two and number three, confidence. Building up your self-identity. What is confident?

Confident is having your own things going on. Obviously it starts from within. When I say being confident, it's not something that's going to happen overnight.

But it's something that you build. Whatever you need to do to feel that confidence--if you need to start working out and getting in great shape. If you need to get some new clothes, if you need to get a new haircut. All those things, whatever you need to do. If you don't feel good about the product, how do you expect somebody else to?

That energy starts from within. The attraction, essentially you got to be attracted to yourself before others will be attracted to you. Do whatever you need to do. That's something everybody needs to figure out on their own. Whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself, to feel really good about who are and what you're about, that would be number one. It all starts there.

Number one, confidence in yourself, developing, flipping the switch mentally to feeling an attraction from within. Liking yourself, feeling good about yourself, number one.

Number two, you're going to, and this expounds a little bit more on the confidence, but it's putting yourself into that sexy guy category. I'm going to give you three categories. Number one, you never want to be this guy-- he's needy. He's puppy dog. He's do anything you want, fall down on my knees--I'll do anything to be with you.

You don't want to ever be, under any circumstances, that guy. A lot of guys, unfortunately, are that guy. That's why they struggle. That's why they fall on their face.

You're not that guy. What you want to do, and it stems from that confidence, but create the sexy guy image. That is the guy that--it's a combination of that inner confidence but it's also not needy. It's, you know what, if it happens, cool. If it doesn't, hey, you know what? Whatever happens, I'm having fun. My life is great.

If you want to be part of it, awesome. Hop on the train. If you don't, no worries. Have a nice night. That's that confidence, but not the neediness. Not the "I'll do anything to get with you." That's the guy you don't want to be. You want to be the sexy guy because if you want to have a lot of sex, you want to be thrown into that category.

I touched on this before, because women will justify--you want a one-night stand. If you are that sexy guy, women will go "You know what? I don't normally do it but fuck, I mean did you see--that guy had something." What he had was confidence.

Obviously, the better you look, the better the outside package you can put together, awesome. But you want to be that sexy guy. And the sexy guy, he's got something that--and I'll touch on this too.

So you got your three types of guys. You got your needy guy--never. You got your sexy guy--yes, you want to be him. But you also want to mix in a little bit of the third guy, and the third guy--and you don't want to be him all the time for sure--but he's a dick. He's basically "I don't give a fuck."

He's rude, he's obnoxious maybe. The most important thing is he doesn't give a fuck. He's like "You like me, you don't like me? I don't give a fuck. I'm still having fun." You want to mix in a little bit of that guy.

Where puppy dog guy goes 100% wrong, this guy, even though he might be an asshole or he's rude or whatever. One thing he does right is he gets confidence right. He's confidence. Not giving a fuck is confident.

You want to mix in a little bit of that guy. That's where the confidence comes in. Now the ideal sexy guy is the guy who has a little bit of that dick in him--a little bit, but not too much. He's not rude, he's not an asshole but he doesn't really--"You know what? Take it or leave it. I love me, I'm happy where I'm at. You want to be part of it, cool. If you don't, somebody else will."

Mixing in a little bit of that guy number three, a little bit of that dick, but not enough to be a dick. If I get it right, the confidence from that guy is what--even though he does everything else wrong--he's rude, he's whatever. But he's confident.

So you take that confidence. You know what? Whatever happens, I really don't give a fuck. Maybe you do, but you don't let on that you do. I'm here to have fun. I'm here to enjoy life.

It's fun being with me. If you want to be with me, cool. If you don't, somebody else will.

You take some of that, you put it with some coolness. And when I say coolness, like not being rude--some manners. You don't want to be 110% manners. When I say manners, the needy guy, the fall down, trip over himself to open the door. You don't want to be that guy. You definitely don't want to be that guy.

[Angel Donovan]: It's been great having you on the show. And I know you've got some other stuff going on now. Do you want to tell us a little bit about what you're up to, about your book and so on?

[Landon Foxx]: Yeah, absolutely. I've been working on a compilation of stories from the business. I call it Living the Dream because when I was a 90 percenter and had no clue how to talk to women, how to get with women, that was my dream was to get with as many as possible.

That's why I call my book Living the Dream. It's Living the Dream: Stories, Confessions and Life Lessons From the Traveling Stripper. A lot of stories from the business, some life lessons thrown in there. It's funny, it's entertaining. They're short stories.

Another book I've just put together. A lot of people ask me how do I stay in shape. I said I train like an athlete to be an entertainer. My second book is 10 Super Lean Fitness Tips. Basically the Cliff notes of how to stay lean, how to stay shredded, which is what women want today. The whole big bulky huge muscle look is not what I find women want.

They want shredded, they want lean, they want hard. That's what my 10 Super Lean Fitness Tips tell you how I live, what I do, what I eat. Clif notes version how to look like me.

I've been working on those books and I've got it all on my website, landonfoxx.com or stripperlandon.com, either one Will get you there. Stop by and say hi. I look forward to hearing from you.

[Angel Donovan]: Thanks a lot man. And we'll put those links in the show notes as well. Landon, it's been great having you on the show today. It's been a lot of fun, and some eye opening experiences there for us.

Thank you very much for being so candid about your lifestyle. That's what's really been valuable to us.

[Landon Foxx]: Absolutely. I enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun.