The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them
"Good For Mindset And Motivation, Poor For Practical Details"
Last Update: May 28, 2020
FULL DETAILED REVIEW
I bring this up because he doesn't talk about himself at all in this book. He doesn't mention his background, his experiences with women, how he learned his ideas or give any indication whatsoever what exactly makes him an expert on this subject.
Normally books are written either from the author's perspective of having real world, practical experience with the subject, or with a theoretical slant where the author discusses research findings and interviews experts in the field.
Instead, The Manual consists of Anton telling you how to be a man and seduce women, without giving any clues as to his own experience or providing any data or research to back up any of what he says. That doesn't make what he says good or bad, it just means that it's impossible to say what he is basing any and all of his opinions on.
Society Thinks You Are Worthless
A good portion of the book is focused on your mindset about women and yourself, and how this has been corrupted by society. The point that Anton makes is that all men would be naturally attractive to women but are conditioned by the process of socialization to change their beliefs about what it takes to attract women.
While there is some truth to what he says, he kind of gets into a rant about this and makes some generalizations that simply don't hold much weight. For example, one of his main themes here is that males are worthless to society, whereas females have a lot more value. Now, if you were to go to China and the majority of the middle east for example, I don't think you'll find much evidence of this being the case.
Anton goes into detail on how men do more physically demanding jobs and are sent off to war, while woman are spared of such matters. This discounts the fact that women do in fact enlist in the armed services, as well as have some of the same jobs men do. Nevertheless, he seems to blame this on society treating men as disposable, rather than on the practical implications that the average man is more physically capable of these things than the average woman.
There's just too many generalizations here with nothing to back them up, such as stating females are never expected to help a male in distress, while a male is always expected to risk his life to protect a female. There's pretty clear evidence in the world that neither of these assertions are absolute truths.
Are You A Male Or A Man?
One of the distinctions that Anton makes in The Manual is the difference between males and men. 'Men' refers to masculine males who are attractive to women, in the same way that he uses 'women' to denote feminine females who are attractive to men. Which according to Anton, is only about 10% of females.
Something he stresses here is that women don't place the same importance on a man's looks in the same way that we do with women. This is true, so the book has some worthwhile information here on what you should be focused on instead. Anton says that if you come across as confident, charming and masculine you'll be more attractive than a good looking guy who doesn't possess these traits.
Part of being masculine, according to Anton, is always being direct with women. He claims that the more indirect a male is, the more feminine he appears, which decreases his attractiveness to women. So the advice is to be direct all the time, no matter the situation. An example given is if a woman is in a circle of friends you should bust into the group and be direct with the woman and ignore everyone else.
This is pretty poor advice and is going to have a low success rate. It completely neglects the idea of social intelligence, which is something that women actually find attractive in a man. Being able to interact with other people in a socially appropriate way is important, especially if you want to succeed with higher quality woman, which is what this book is aimed at. Unfortunately some of the advice here just isn't the most effective thing to do.
There is a time and place to be direct with women, but it's also important to know when that type of approach will be putting a great deal of social pressure on her and how there are better ways to achieve the same goal.
Positively Standing Out From Other Men
Developing the kind of confidence and self-esteem that Anton recommends is something that is going to benefit any man. And the book is pretty motivating and encouraging in getting you to believe that you don't need any external things or permission to start approaching and meeting the women you want.
However it doesn't take into account that the most attractive women have a lot of dating options. There's no shortage of confident and charming men they'll meet. So some of the advice here, which consists of complimenting a girl all night to make her feel special and so she believes you want her, is not great. Attractive women know you find them sexy and want to hook up with them, and just telling them repeatedly is not a high percentage strategy.
An effective tactic in a lot of dating advice is to qualify a woman, which is to show her that you have high standards with the women you date and give her a reason you like her besides just her looks. Anton takes the opposite approach and says you should never qualify a woman, and let her know that whatever standards you have she has already met. More poor advice, as this is taking away the opportunity and need for her to invest some effort into winning you over.
You'll also be told that there's no point improving your style and that working out is pretty much a waste of time, unless you want to do it for yourself. Anton claims that these things won't make any difference with women. This simply isn't true, as improving your overall image is one of the fastest ways to change how women respod to you. Anton later talks about the importance of creating a positive first impression, so it's strange he would dismiss these areas as clearly they contribute to that impression.
Other things that Anton claims women aren't attracted to are money and high social status, two things that are pretty well documented that women do find attractive. This isn't to say that you have to be rich and powerful to date attractive women, but to outrightly state women don't value these things is just plain false.
Reading this book I couldn't help get the feeling Anton thinks doing anything to improve yourself is a complete waste of time, and it's motivated by getting women then you're a loser. The reality is much of what guys do is motivated by improving their success with women, and there's nothing wrong with that. More men are motivated to go to the gym and eat right for the difference it will make to their appearance more so than their health, but it's still having a positive impact on their life regardless of the motivation behind it.
One thing that Anton does correctly point out is that may guys wait for external occurrences before they take action with women. Whether this is achieving a certain physical change, or making a certain amount of money or anything else, it's an unhelpful mindset to have and you don't need any of these things to start meeting women.
Does Your Life Purpose Revolve Around Women?
The emphasis in The Manual of male and female polarity reminded me of the book The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida. The importance of masculinity is evident in both, however there are some differences.
Deida makes it evident that women are always going to test you so they can feel your strength and masculinity, which allows them to feel safe in their feminine role. Anyone who has much experience with attractive women will know that this is a pretty accurate reflection of reality.
Yet Anton states that if a woman is testing you it's because you've messed up and done something wrong. This is incorrect, as women test men because they are interested and they need to make sure he is the real deal and not just putting on an act. So you should actually welcome tests as it is a sign a woman is starting to invest in you, and not take this to mean you've done something wrong.
Another of Deida's points is that women are most attracted to men who have a life purpose which goes beyond women. A mission which he is determined to achieve and is the number one priority in his life.
Anton seems to take the opposite approach and suggests that other things are just a distraction and you should spend your time approaching and flirting with women. He talks about losing career motivation when you're good with women and there's no mention of having anything else to strive for in life. A number of times in the book he gives an example of how you might take a girl on the bus to go to a date, which is not a good idea but might be your only option if you neglect all other areas of your life for the sake of women.
Is The Manual Worth A Read?
Despite the number of negatives with the book, it still has some good concepts that will help many men. It really stresses the importance of genuine confidence in yourself and not relying on external factors to give you a sense of entitlement to talk to and date women.
It covers the importance of deciding for yourself what you want out of life and not just doing what is expected of you, either from society or your family and friends.
If you're not familiar with the idea of what it means to be a masculine man and the importance of playing the leading role with women, this book will help open your eyes.
So for those reasons the book is best suited for guys at a beginner level. However it's the beginners who typically have a hard time distinguishing good advice from bad, which this book has in equal measures. And since there are no practical examples of what to say, beginners will likely need a more detailed product to study, such as The Daygame Blueprint.
Feel free to read this book for the mindset and motivation that you can go out and start approaching women right away, but don't expect an actual manual here on exactly how to do that.
The Bottom Line
This book is mostly going to be beneficial to nice guys who try to appease women or men who feel they are unworthy of quality women. It has some good info on what women are really attracted to in men, and how this is different from what most people believe.
However it's fairly vague in many places on the specifics of what to actually do, and for guys with little experience it's unlikely this book will be detailed enough for you to know the correct course of action to take with women. There isn't any kind of a system here, it's more akin to 'just be confident and do whatever you want'.
The advice in this book consists of being very direct and upfront with women. In that sense, it's very simiar to Mode One. The thing both of these books have in common is they don't give any practical examples of what a good conversation looks like. If you want to take the philosophy of being direct with women but need a practical guide on how to do so, then we recommend you check out The Daygame Blueprint.
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W. Anton created this manual as a guide to getting girls and understanding women. It helps men to develop a natural ability to be good with women by understanding what they are attracted to, and a focus on natural attraction.
It also explains why men think women are attracted to things such as money and why women “play hard to get”.
The book addresses basic beliefs and mindset in order to help men think and behave correctly around women. It teaches you how to unlock your true potential and exhibit the real you.
- Meeting Women
- Attracting Women
- Kindle eBook
(depending on product format or options purchased)
FeedbackIf you have a question or problem, ask us:
Table of Contents/ List of Topics Covered:
Part 1: The Mindset
Part 2: The Manners
Part 3: The Message
- Body Language
Part 4: The Method
- The Location
- The Woman
- The Approach
- The Number
- The Call
- The Date
- The Kiss
- The Sex
- The Relationship
What You Get:
Book options include:
- Kindle $9.86
- Paperback $22.18
Guarantee / Terms:
See policy of product website
User Reviews of The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them
Most Helpful User Reviews
"Probably THE best dating book EVER on confidence"
December 27, 2012
Because since I read it in the beginning of this year it has instantly become one of my TOP PICKS for any man looking to get good with women FAST. This book was good enough for me to write a review about on Amazon, you can find it below.
Keep in mind that I wrote that review for the general public. For guys more familiar with dating material, know that this is the one and only resource you'll ever need to get your confidence to where it needs to be. For advice on specific outer game I have to refer you to the Daygame Blueprint by Daygame or the Advanced Dating Strategies bij DHW.
I'm really curious about a review done by the DSR guys, and I've requested them to review this book. One of the BEST BOOKS THERE IS!
"This book really needs to go extinct. "
July 01, 2013
The philosophy in this book is to never dress or act in an effeminate manner and to always be selfish and be alpha at all times. He literally likens a woman wearing a scarf to a "pet on a leash."
If this were some universal truth, why then aren't hairy knuckled, blue collar, lunks stripping rock stars of their women with the greatest of ease? Because they are boring! That's why.
Come to think of it, why am I having such a tough time finding infield videos of W. Anton as he demonstrates his ground breaking ideas that being a chauvinist pig is the way to woman's heart. That's not confidence, that's what psychologists would classify as the "Grandiosity Complex" -- putting others down as a way of out-running your own feelings of depression or insecurity.
True confidence is based on having deep feelings of self-worth. A lot of that just comes with life experience but sometimes you just have to believe in yourself for no other reason than "just because." Just shut the f**k up and trust yourself. You're welcome!
"Pretending to be confident" as this author would suggest you do, will only result in incongruent body language that women can spot from a mile away. As inferior as W. Anton would have you believe women are, their ability to pick up on non-verbal social cues blows men completely out of the water! And if they smell bullshit, they will "next" your ass in a heartbeat! This is one on many examples of how reading this book will do your game more harm than good!
I do agree with the idea that all good books on pick up should be rooted in solid theories of evolutionary biology, as this one is, but at the same time, most of this book simply reads as a dumbed down knock-off of the Red Queen.
Matt Ridley, the author of the Red Queen has this to say: "choosiness of human beings in picking their mates has driven the human mind into a history of frenzied expansion for no reason, except that wit, virtuousity, inventiveness and individuality turn other people on."
In other words the secret to attracting women is not about being selfish or alpha or always sitting back with your legs spread to convey cockiness, you just need to become an interesting guy.
In short, although rooted in evolutionary biology, this book really needs to go extinct.
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"It all started here for me"
May 31, 2015
I can't even remember why I bought this, I guess I must've just seen it pop up on a screen somewhere. But I did buy it, and it woke me up to this world of amazing info and tips on women and confidence and that I could really change this for me.
I've read a lot of other books since and even bought some courses. W. Anton started it all for me though, so respect, and I owe you a debt of gratitude bro. Your book kept me busy the whole day the day I bought it. I couldn't put it down. So many amazing ideas and insights. So different from what I'd seen before.
And of course now I've been with a lot more girls and feel more comfortable in my own skin you know.. Respect.
"some good ideas but not many examples"
May 29, 2015
Pretty much the advice is just be confident and direct and do whatever you want. Nothing really new there.
Some advice is good and is okay for guys who are timid with women and have no experience, but it's pretty simple and nothing advanced. Have read much better stuff in other dating products.
"Helped give me the confidence to start approaching women"
June 05, 2015
What I did get from this book was a massive boost of confidence that I already have everything I need to start meeting girls and getting them into me.
I've been pretty successful in my career and always thought that earning more money was the key to having more value as a man and being able to get more attractive women.
But it's never really worked out that way and has left me incredibly frustrated at times. So if you think that you need lots of money or a ripped body or an expensive car or any of the other stereotypical stuff that it supposed to attract women, then this book will bust that myth for you.