Review Detail

The Language of Attraction
Home Study Courses (Books, DVDs, CDs, MP3/ Video)
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful

"Really Solid Product On How To Have Conversations That Create Attraction"

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The Good
A great guide to learn how to start and maintain conversations that lead to seduction. A well-structured program that caters to different personalities through the use of many examples, adapted to specific situations. This is a fresh approach in a market loaded with dating gurus that mold users to be exactly like them.
The Bad
Although the program is excellent in itself, it spends too much time trying to sell other products, so one ends up with the feeling that this is only a basic introduction to "the real" program, which is called "The Academy".
The Bottom Line
This program is well suited for beginners. It doesn't try to cover everything there is to know about women, but rather focuses on starting and maintaining conversations that spark attraction.

Since so many guys get stuck at this stage, often talking girls out of liking them, it is fantastic to see a program that teaches them how to turn simple conversations into memorable experiences.

If this is your weak point, other products worth checking out are Say Hello by Christian Hudson and Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy by Bobby Rio.


The Language of Attraction is a video program presented by Matt Artisan inside a private membership area. It’s made up of 7 modules plus three bonus videos covering specific situations. Total running time, including the two introductory videos, is over nine hours.

You can download the slides, the Audio MP3s and "cheat sheets" for every module.

The system is organized into a simple and clean interface that lets you pick any module you would like to watch and easily jump to the next one. The videos are very engaging and practical. They’re all presented as slides with Matt providing the voiceover, with the exception of the bonus talks, which are live videos.

Every module is filled with personal anecdotes and amusing examples. They all end with homework exercises designed to turn theory into practice.

Getting Started
Before getting into the 7 Modules and the 3 Bonus Videos, Matt makes a brief introduction of his method. He presents it as one that will help men get any woman they want; even those always deemed as impossible catches.

Matt states that success with women is about being what he calls a "multidimensional man". This is someone that keeps her guessing and stimulates her through sexual tension.

According to Matt, this happens when you strike good conversations. "Make women addicted to the emotions you are making them feel and they will be yours".

"Watch This First: The Secret Language Women Speak" is the second introductory video. It addresses the fundamental principles that men need to know to understand attraction.

This is a 23-minute long lesson on how emotional control attracts women. For Matt, a grounded man is one that can handle any situation in life or any woman’s test in ways that make women feel totally safe.

How to Become Fascinating
For Matt, good conversations turn dull moments into memorable experiences. This in turn makes a man fascinating in the eyes of most girls. "Only having a conversation is not enough. Women need an experience".

A memorable experience loads dates with unforgettable emotional value for women. Emotional Experiences are the combination of three elements: Challenge, Fun and Connection.

First of all, you have to be a challenge to women: "If women do not have to win you over, the game is over". All women want to earn your attention for them, so it is you who has to qualify her to meet your standards. You have to see yourself as the prize and make her feel that.

Then you have to be fun, because "girls just want to have fun". People who make other people feel happy are addictive. If you then add the right amount of spicy sexual comments, you start to create attraction.

Finally, a woman needs to trust you and feel safe with you. This is a must if you expect her to open up to you and lower her guard.

If you cannot communicate challenge, fun and sympathy, women will lose interest. This approach is not so different from other methods. However, what's different is The Language of Attraction goes to great lengths when analyzing these three topics in depth.

The module closes with two useful sections: Mistakes Guys Make During Conversations and Tips to Know Before Getting Started.

The first section covers common mistakes, such as dominating the conversation, bragging, or staying on one subject. The second section offers useful tips on how to handle awkward silences, how to escalate physical contact, and how to be more interesting.

As with all the rest of the videos, Module One ends with homework exercises to apply the topics covered.

Polish your Openers
This 35-minute module is a step-by-step description of how to construct effective opening lines. Good openers start conversations that trigger emotional attraction in women.

The chapter is full of funny personal anecdotes about what works and what doesn't. It is designed to help men cope with the anxiety rising from starting conversations with women.

The module makes a useful difference between daytime and nighttime approaches. Matt uses many examples to illustrate these differences. The method is handy for beginners that oftentimes do not realize that different environments require different styles.

Matt brings to the table 10 openers that are a mix between classic punchlines and ingenious techniques that were new to me. The chapter is refreshing and fun if you are an expert with women, and a definite must if you are new to the game.

Let Her Chase You
A lot of guys can be fun. A lot of guys can build a good connection with women. But very few guys are ever a challenge. This is particularly true in the face of beautiful women. And this is what the third module is all about.

Turning back to his own life experience, Matt says, "being a challenge was a total game changer. When a man starts being a challenge, he can start dating women he thought out of his league".

And, why should men be a challenge to women? The answer is easy: because if they are not, they display low value. Women will not feel appreciated by that presence in their life, and will lose interest. She will seek someone that makes her feel valuable by being valuable.

Matt then introduces Qualification as the sole initial goal of any interaction. By qualifying women through specific questions, men go from pleasers to attractive selectors. And selectors are a rare species these days.

Broad Questions, Specific Questions, and Restricted Requests are all forms of Qualification. Through practical examples, Matt pretty much covers any situation a man could face.

Qualifying means, "if a girl doesn't meet your standards, you should never be afraid to walk away from the interaction, even if it means cutting a date short". This is what gives you value as a man in the eyes of the most important person in the world: yourself.

The program spends quite a bit of time talking about Qualification as a skill, and that is a damn good thing. Becoming a challenge is not easy if you come from a Beta Male background. The Language of Attraction understands this, and puts in the time and effort to address this problem.

A Great Conversation Makes You Addictive
Why should you be fun?

The answer is that fun releases certain chemicals in the body that make people become addicted to it. And it is through generating that addiction in girls that men are able to date them over and over again. It is also through fun that men can escalate physical contact, flirt, and ultimately end up having sex. Sounds like fun, right?

And, how do you have fun?

The Language of Attraction concludes that the best way to have fun is to do things that are fun FOR YOU. No man should try to make women have fun. No man should try to impress a woman by being funny. And no man should ever become the jester. The best way to make someone have fun with you is by having fun your way.

The video then presents 11 strategies to turn boring conversations into fun interactions. Answering common questions with silly responses, bantering, teasing, misinterpreting, and playing games are all examples of effective ways to have fun. And they are. Try them out and see what makes you feel comfortable.

A fan of games, Matt explains many games that can turn interaction into seduction. Then he spends a very long time explaining different types of games. Too much time, some could say.

But, if like Matt you are also into bantering through play, this chapter will become your Bible. Games do work when used correctly. But if you are not the banana type, please keep off. It takes practice and charm to play right. Sweet games may turn sour if you mess up. They are useful but not crucial to a great conversation. After all we just said that the best way to make someone have fun with you is by having fun your way, right?

And a final piece of advice. Don't attempt to memorize every phrase, technique and game option to be fun. There are just too many and you will get confused. Rather, try and feel happy with three or four tactics and practice them to mastery. That should get you going before you strive for higher peaks.

Be Challenging, Be Fun and Build a Deep Connection
The final ingredient for a great conversation with women is Creating Rapport.

Rapport means "creating a deep connection with a woman, so that she feels she has known you for a long time, even if you just met".

Creating Rapport is about generating mutual understanding, empathy, a profound bond based on trust, and the perception of emotional familiarity.

Rapport is key because women need to know they are physically safe with the guy, but also that their emotions are safe.

Matt lists 4 common mistakes that kill Rapport:

  1. Asking too many questions in a row
  2. Asking only boring questions
  3. Asking logical and not emotional questions
  4. Talking about only one subject for too long

So to create Rapport with a woman it is always important to evoke emotions. This is just another way of saying what every other dating program in the market teaches. That is that women are emotional beings.

"Always ask emotionally charged follow up questions to any comment she makes", suggests Matt. "Practice active listening" that truly makes you be sympathetic with her emotions, he adds. "Show appreciation for her inner beauty instead of concentrating on her physical appearance". And follow the golden tenet: you only create Rapport if you honestly relate to her emotions.

Maintaining meaningful two-way conversations comes next. And you can achieve this through the use of Trigger Words.

Trigger Words are keywords that create various threads of conversational topics in one sentence. Every Trigger Word is an option to continue talking. This is a way to avoid running out of subjects to talk about.

Trigger Words also allow you to present selective information about yourself. And at the same time, you can extract a lot of valuable information about the women you date. This is a cool technique that improves the quality of conversation, be it with a gorgeous girl or with the ugliest of your male friends.

Showing vulnerability, using childhood memories, and cold reading are other techniques that create Rapport. Whereas bragging, negativity, and being overly logical are common mistakes that destroy Rapport.

Modules 3, 4 and 5 lay at the heart of the program. And they are long. It would be useful to watch these sections more than three times. Practicing one skill at a time is also important to properly learn the information presented.

Always Have A Game Plan
Module Six intends to present a comprehensive action plan to coach the user all the way from the initial approach to taking the girl home.

The diagrams that sum up the way to strike effective conversations are great. Yet, the module falls short of its very ambitious objectives.

The sections about escalating physical contact, going for the kiss, taking the girl home, creating the conditions for sex to happen, and handling objections are too broad to be covered in 20 minutes. Not to mention that they are advanced topics that beginners cannot understand that easily.

The risk of messing up the great conversation of the evening with a lousy follow-up is just too high, because the treatment of these topics is very shallow. It is inevitable to feel that this section was simply added on for marketing reasons, without the necessary depth to crown the great conversation with great sex. Another product worth checking out that focuses on these areas in more depth is The Language of Lust.

Walk the Talk
The Language of Attraction ends on a high note. The last module introduces some entertaining exercises to improve your conversational dexterity. I won't spoil the fun by describing them, but be sure to practice them. They will be very useful.

The importance of improvisation is at the heart of this last module. This is great because good conversations are not about memorizing catch phrases. Being a great conversationalist is about improvisation. In fact, life itself involves permanent improvisation. A good improviser is successful in dates and with women. But a good improviser is also fun with friends and better at bonding with workmates and bosses alike.

So being a good conversationalist increases your chances of success in your life. In the end, that is what this program is all about.

Bonus Videos
The Language of Attraction ends with three Bonus Videos. These are actually live recordings of three different coaches.

The first one is Matt Artisan, the author of the program. He offers an interesting 40-minute talk on how to sexualize conversations. In a way, it is an extension of some of the concepts already presented in the program. The plus is that Matt becomes more specific on certain techniques that speed up sexual attraction.

In the second video, Josiah Prise talks for 26 minutes on how to relate to all types of people. He also talks about how to always keep conversations flowing. Josiah is one of the coaches that works for Matt’s company. The video is also an extension of concepts introduced in previous modules.

Finally, coach Jared Lawrence offers a 1-hour course on how to talk to girls in bars. It is a fun presentation, filled with personal anecdotes. Jared illustrates the practical use of many concepts introduced throughout The Language of Attraction.

The Bottom Line
This program is well suited for beginners. It doesn't try to cover everything there is to know about women, but rather focuses on starting and maintaining conversations that spark attraction.

Since so many guys get stuck at this stage, often talking girls out of liking them, it is fantastic to see a program that teaches them how to turn simple conversations into memorable experiences.

If this is your weak point, other products worth checking out are Say Hello by Christian Hudson and Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy by Bobby Rio.

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