"Complete Inner Game And Confidence Mixed With Relationship Advice"
October 27, 2017
FULL DETAILED REVIEW
The Creator - David Tian, Ph.D.
David Tian is a world renowned dating coach who holds a Ph.D in Asian Culture and Philosophy. He held a professor tenure for 3 years in Singapore. He developed products to help men in other areas of dating, sex and relationships, one of which, Invincible, is the top-rated program on DSR.
David has worked for many years as a dating coach and was well-known for hooking up with a lot of women. He realized that wasn't leading to long-term happiness and focused instead on creating a fulfilling relationship. He's now married to a high quality woman, and is one of the few dating coaches who has successfully made this transition. This makes him uniquely qualified to teach the information inside this program.
Rock Solid Relationships offers a more mature approach to relationships than other products. It has potential to help men struggling with recurring relationship and emotional issues.
Rock Solid Relationships is intense psychologically. David's goal is to provoke you with hard facts about your upbringing, your attachment styles, your masculine energy, and your failed relationships while dating.
This course is from an ex-pickup artist. If you've been in this lifestyle and are longing for a long-term relationship, he knows the language and what to say to convince you to change your methods to find love, significance and connection.
The program is divided into 10 modules of around 3 to 4 hours each, with 6 half-hour meditations, which adds to 40 hours. This is a full week's work from a relationship coach.
How Does Rock Solid Relationships Work?
Module 1 - Needs and Rules
In this module, you will do a little homework to find your needs and put them in order of importance in your life. If this is your first time thinking about your life from an outside perspective, this will feel weird and new age, but it's worth it.
If you've done this a couple of times before, this can guide you through another recap and plan of your life, based on psychology.
You'll first learn how your 7 basic human needs are prioritized (security, variety, significance, connection, love, growth, contributions). Then, you will create rules about how to meet them appropriately.
I learned that when needs are prioritized in the wrong order it can alter your fulfillment. For example, if the need for significance comes before the need for love, you probably think you can only be loved if you are significant, successful, handsome, strong, and have material success. You will then look needy to women if they are required to fulfill your significance, your variety or your security.
David will teach you the way to rearrange your needs hierarchy. If you're in a relationship, you will also answer questions about what your woman needs, and how you are fulfilling them for her.
Module 2 - Your Masculine Leadership
In this module David will describe the unconscious mind using masculine symbols like the warrior, the magician, the lover, and the king. You will learn how they manifest in your life, and most importantly, how their immature counterparts influence your relationships.
There will be hard questions about your childhood coming, like "Who did you grow up to please? What were your roles in this relationship? Who could you not be as a child? What part of you did you have to disown?" David will help interpret the answers, and how this dynamic unconsciously interfered with your love life.
The meditation of this module will get the warrior in you screaming in your living room, so be sure you are alone!
Module 3 - Your Rock Solid Love
In module 3 David gets very intellectual. He will explain some psychological theory of modern love life, with movie characters as examples. This was my favorite part, as my day job is in a mental health hospital. I understood clearly what he meant the first time, and it was deep and meaningful, wise stuff you learn when you have experience with people's minds, but not obvious for novices.
He explains in detail certain types of co-dependent couples, like the fixer with the predator, and the nice guy with the manic pixie dream girl. For example, predators and fixers end up together in a relationship that can't work long term, because they are perfect in a dysfunctional way: the fixer gives without taking and the predator takes without giving.
He also gives a critique of the pickup artist's lifestyle, and why it fails and messes with people's minds.
This quote, among many, is a meaningful conclusion of this module: "If I can find the type of person I picture my false, idealized self being with and make them my real-life partner, that would be the final proof I need that my false, idealized self is in fact the real me."
Module 4 - Masculine Freedom
In this module, David goes deeper and further into your past when you were 2-3 years old. He explains concepts you'd learn in graduate studies in psychology, like defense mechanisms and toxic shame, so you understand the vocabulary and the exercises of later modules.
As kids, we learned to either achieve or please to survive, and as we adapted, we developed certain parts of us. "How did you adapt in order to meet your basic needs?"
David argues that all of human psychological suffering comes from shame at some point, but I don't understand the difference between what he describes as shaming and simply growing up and learning about life.
The meditation in this module is interesting. It starts with an example of 2 people living the same event, but who experienced different meaning from it: life is short, experience everything fully vs life is hard, don't connect with anyone to prevent suffering. Then, you will be guided in your earliest memories to uncover a meaning about your life, actionable right now.
Module 5 - Your Rock Solid Attachment
This is a revealing module. You will do the attachment style test and listen to David explain how it manifests in dating and relationships. You will also do it with a woman in mind to explore how a woman's attachment style impacts your relationships. This is a very unique and useful skill to master.
You will also be asked to revisit your past relationships to understand why they happened and why they broke. The final question of the chapter is a good view of the personal work you will do: "What are the main attachment principles involved in your relationships, and how can you reprogram your working model with effective strategies?"
Module 6 - Your Masculine Assertiveness
In this module, you will learn to understand the difference between what you should or have to do, from what you really want. Then you'll see different techniques of assertiveness like negotiating compromise, rolling with the punches and owning your mistakes.
These communication skills are basic but essential to practice in all areas of your life.
Module 7 - Your Rock Solid Vitality
Here, David explains again how your relationship with your parents can shape how you interact with others. For example, even if your parents were well-meaning with their affection and proper discipline, this could've been only to validate themselves as parents.
David appropriately suggests counseling if a user fits the description given of abuse and neglect.
This module can be redundant for some users in need of practicality by this point in the program. There is no meditation in this module.
Module 8 - Your Masculine Power
This module is all about testosterone and how to boost it in your daily life. The proposed habits are common sense, and are proven to be effective. Experienced users will probably find this module redundant, but a course about masculinity would be incomplete without this section. The meditation of this module will tap your dark side, the warrior king, and it's fun.
David also discusses how to foster and keep all kinds of relationships, from booty calls to long-term multiple relationships. So if the standard long-term monogamous relationship doesn't appeal to you, this module will help you explore some alternatives.
Module 9 - Your Rock Solid Relationship
This module is about negotiating in relationships. It's in the form of a 3-hour long keynote in audio form, without PDFs. David teaches a method to calculate the value each partner must invest and receive to stay in a relationship.
It seems like a cold monopoly game, but it could help some men with serious problems of negotiation. David gives a complete example of growing complexity of a couple negotiating taking out the trash, doing the dishes, and cuddling time, with the objective of a win-win situation.
Module 10 - Your Masculine Mastery
The last module talks about sexual problems and a healthy sex life. David mentions a couple of herbal supplements to help with erectile dysfunction, but they are not scientifically proven. Of course, a good strategy to prevent sexual problems is to have a healthy lifestyle.
The section about sexual psychology could be helpful for men who've never had a deep commitment. You'll learn that emotions are more important than techniques for a healthy long-term sex life, and that it's important to value your own sexuality, not putting getting sex from her as a finality. Unfortunately, this final module won't be as useful for sexually experienced guys.
David also talks about dominance, presence, immersion, and lust. It all seems common sense. He does not focus on specific techniques, although he will talk about them in a basic way. The concept of immersion is interesting: don't think too much in the bedroom and stay present.
Effectiveness: Is The Program Legit?
This course is as almost as big as a university course , minus the homework . It's obvious David read and thought a lot to create the material, and he gives the references in each module. The concepts he explains in modules 1-7 are based in the humanities and known by most psychologists, and modules 8-10 are based on common sense and his experience.
However, I would've liked 2 or 3 real case studies of men he helped, with the follow-up, to see and understand the work required to heal relationship suffering, and the timeline necessary. He does give examples, but they are short.
Testing The Product - The Techniques - Implementation
David uses mostly long lectures and active meditations to guide the user in self-discovery and self-actualization.
I listened or watched in 1 hour sessions to prevent information overload, but when I came back, I got lost a couple of times. I feel the modules were too big and could've been split into smaller learning objectives. I read all the PDFs, did the meditations and the exercises, but did not participate in the private Facebook support group.
The exercises are essential to keep you engaged in the learning process. The ones offered are pertinent and regular, but I would have preferred more. The questions are deep and require thinking hard about your life. I was unwilling to answer sometimes, but pushed through my laziness and my desire to give the right answer. It was worth it and I encourage the user to persist.
As a professional working in mental health, I understood clearly David's teaching, and still learned a lot. I think most users will find the psychological view of relationships fascinating, but moderately hard to understand. However, this knowledge can help users in other areas of life, and even in coaching friends and family, so it's important to be focused and persistent. I think 25-30 minutes per day is a good pace.
I found the concept of warrior, lover, magician and king very interesting and bought the book. By separating masculine roles at play in my life, I found which parts of me need development.
The exercises that were the most useful to me were the needs rules, and the attachment styles exercise. I understood that I had an anxious attachment style with my previous girlfriends, and this is why drama and intensity always found me.
Now, aged 37, I have a more secure attachment style with no drama, less intensity, but more satisfaction. A happy side effect of this course is the improvement of my relationship with my own children.
The 6 active meditations are a unique feature of this product. I found some were useful and fun, but others harder to follow with their deep questions and fast pace. David says they could require 2-3 repetitions before they produce results.
I understood through the mediations why I'm hiding some behaviors from my consciousness, and will implement changes right away. I found the background music a bit too loud for some work about grief and relationship vision.
David wants us to develop healthy love relationships by exploring meaningful relationships in our lives, but there is little homework to do with our actual girlfriend or wife.
I am in a stable long-term relationship at the moment. Even if I did all the exercises, I can't see the day to day impact of this program in my relationship with my girlfriend. However, I did gain key knowledge on my dramatic past love life. I will certainly be more skilled to overcome the challenges of a long term relationship. This makes me think this product would be most powerful for single men who want to prevent drama, reprogram their attachment style, and be at their best in their next long-term relationship.
The 6 active meditations are unique and a novelty in this field. They are followed by a worksheet to put on paper what was learned during the active visualization. I feel David's true objective is to make us better people through a series of psychotherapeutic exercises, and this also is a unique approach that was mentioned in reviews of his other products.
Don't skip the meditations, for they are milestones required for the next modules, and they are in proper order to grow and understand your masculinity and love life. David states they are the most powerful aspects of the product.
With appropriate music, he will use visualization techniques to lead you into deep thinking. If you do lose focus, keep listening to his voice, the music, keep your eyes closed and continue to the end. It will at least practice your mind.
You will need a quiet and large room, because you will sometimes be screaming, grunting and moaning while kicking or punching. You could also cry. The action is to evoke your masculinity, and the worksheet that follows is to write down what happened, because it will be a unique experience.
Who Is It A Good Fit For? Who Is It Not A Good Fit For?
This product is best for men who have had multiple moderate to long-term relationships, and want to think deeply about the emotional reasons they worked and failed. It's for serious and motivated men who have time and money to invest in their long-term love life.
If you want practical advice to have better intimacy and communication, get women's point of view about relationships, and prepare for long term goals like having kids, David DeAngelo's Love the Final Chapter would be a good product to check out.
It's absolutely not a good fit for men who are just starting their dating life or who want a quick fix for a specific relationship issue.
Packaging/Presentation And Customer Service
The program was recorded from a live course David gave to a group of men in Singapore over a couple of weeks. It's entirely hosted on Aura University's website. It's easy to navigate and understand the workflow. You have audio or video options for every module, with downloadable audio and PDFs of the keynote presentations. The material is suitable for all kinds of learners. You can also mark your progress, an essential feature in this massive course.
Audio and video quality are very good, with no background noises. We don't see the men in the room, they are very quiet, and seldom interrupt David for a question. However, there is light reflection on the projection screen, so we can't see the keynote live. The best experience is from a split screen with the PDF and video to follow the keynotes and the exercises. Listening to the audio files while commuting is also interesting.
The PDFs of the keynote are suitable for following David's speech and reviewing, but can't and shouldn't be read standalone.
David is a good teacher. He articulates well, uses his hands properly, and looks at the camera so we feel involved with the course. He uses examples to support his arguments, refers to outside sources for deepening a topic, and created good media support for his speech.
One last but important feature is the online community in a private Facebook group. David encourages users to post their questions and relationship issues for help. Having a place to share with other men with similar issues is necessary for personal growth.
I had questions for David while writing this review which he answered promptly.
Value For Money
This product, priced at $747 (or three installments of $299), is expensive. It boils down to about $20 per hour of content. Its value will depend on your involvement in the personal work required. If you've tried other inner game or relationship products without results and want a lot of content for your money, try this product, or seek personal coaching with this investment.
The Bottom Line
Rock Solid Relationships mixes inner game and confidence with relationship skills. It goes beyond other products and feels more complete. Its content is suited for men who have had relationships in the past, and need to think deeply about the emotional reasons they worked and failed.
Its intention is to help serious and motivated men invest in their long-term love life. It will be even better for intellectual men who want to use psychology to understand their needs, upgrade their level of masculine maturity, and be at their best behaviors in their next or current long-term relationship.
It's absolutely not a good fit for men who are just starting their dating life. If that's you, then check out Conversation Escalation or Make Women Want You. It's also not a good fit for you if you want or need a single quick fix for a specific relationship issue.
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