Review Detail

The Language of Lust
Home Study Courses (Books, DVDs, CDs, MP3/ Video)
28 of 33 people found the following review helpful

"Highly Effective 'Mental Game of Sex' Course to Attract Women in a Deep and Sexual Way"

Overall rating 
Ease of Implementation 
Packaging/ Customer Service 
Value for Money 
Reviewed by
The Good
Best “mental game of sex” course (sex is 80% mental), will distinguish you from other men, natural skills and self-development, highly practical, well coached / mentored.
The Bad
Course sections are a bit disorganized inside membership site, maybe too big a step in sexuality for some men, no live demos with women
The Bottom Line
No brainer (it's just $47) to get this if you're interested in maximizing your attractiveness and sexual satisfaction (and getting the most out of sexual experiences and relationships).

The exceptions are men who are not ready for the course 1) those who can't hold conversations or initiate some basic attraction with women, and 2) those not willing to develop their sexuality. These are necessary to get the course to properly work for you.

This is the best "Mental Game of Sex" course I've seen, and 80% of sex is mental. For this reason, it was clear it was receiving our coveted DSR Editors' Choice award.


The Language of Lust is a system that combines sex psychology, neuroscience, Tantra, NLP and hypnosis principles to develop a unique sexual connection with women.

It aims to put you in touch with your true sexual potential, with what women really want sexually, breaking down sexual barriers between you and women and distinguishing you from other men - by allowing you to connect with women on a deeply sexual level that men are rarely capable of.

Lawrence Lanoff
Lawrence Lanoff
Image Source: (March 2011)
The Creator - Lawrence Lanoff
Lawrence Lanoff has a unique background and set of experiences. He's been studying Tantra since the age of 12 (thanks to his new age mom), has worked with Playboy as a photographer, writer and film director for many years, and is a PhD in cognitive studies. He has actively been what he calls a "streetwise sex life coach" for nearly a decade - with a goal to improve both men and women's sexual freedom and satisfaction (learn more about Lanoff in our profile of him).

Lanoff worked in collaboration with Michael Fiore on The Language of Lust project in order to bring his work to a broader audience (Michael Fiore has a very large student following and many popular programs). So Language of Lust is a Digital Romance Inc course (Michael's Company).

How Does The Language of Lust Work?
There are a few layers to this course in terms of how it trains you. You learn and will work on several levels that are important to self-improvement, attracting women, and developing your sexuality.

Rewiring Your Mind (to Connect with Your and Her Sexuality)
The first of these layers is your mind. This includes your beliefs, both conscious and sub-conscious, and about yourself and your sexuality, and women and their sexuality. Lanoff uses a variety of techniques from neuroscience, NLP, hypnosis and meditation to help you reset and rewire these to beliefs and mindsets that are more effective.

This requires you to do some exercises, and is not something that will change your mind in a day. Rather, it's something you will practice over time and it will slowly change you. There will be a bump in realizations when you first watch the trainings, especially for the less sexually open and experienced.

To put this into perspective, I've slept with over 100 women, have had a variety of very intense sexual relationships, and have been exploring openly my sexuality for many years. However, I will most certainly benefit from the exercises myself by working on them over time. For me, there was no initial big realizations or bump, but definitely a smaller bump. I've taken away some tweaks to how I look at things, and that will effect how I relate to women going forward.

The point of this is to push your mind to reflect the truth of our and women's sexuality and to strip away the erroneous social programming that we all have. It's an essential part to connecting with women on a true sexual level - not a superficial level.

How the Language of Lust Works
Overview of How The Language of Lust Works
Source: Angel Donovan,
How to Relate to Women (on a Deep Sexual Level)
The second skill that The Language of Lust trains you in is how to properly relate to women (on a sexual level). This builds on the rewiring of your mind, and takes it to a more practical level.

What it does is it translates the new beliefs and mindsets it has given you into how these attract women and enable you to understand their true sexual needs.

A good chunk of the course's training is helping you to communicate in ways that draws a woman's true sexuality out of her. Ninety-five percent (95%) of women are very inhibited about communicating their true needs and desires, and many also find it difficult to acknowledge them themselves due to a lot of bad social programming we have today. The tools given to you are to help you lead women to feel more comfortable in expressing, acknowledging and exploring these true needs and desires.

It also gives you rules about how you should communicate with women so that they can express themselves, and feel comfortable doing so. So there's a lot of important principles in the course, for you to accept, and make part of your life in order to become a guy women feel comfortable with sexually - and thus reveal their deeper desires to you.

Doing It: Tools & Techniques to Get You Talking and Using the System
A lot of this course is about communication - what to say, how to say it - and focuses on relatively intimate or deep conversations. Some of this is designed to help you understand women, and then a good part of it is to help you lead them.

"The Language of Lust" is a really appropriate name for the course as 70% of the course is about language and communicating your sexuality, and communicating that you understand her sexual desires.

There are a lot of subtleties in the language, and the examples. As you can imagine, when it comes to relating to women on a more sexual level and bringing up these deeper topics, it has the potential to create awkward situations or even paint you as a bit creepy, if not executed correctly.

Honestly, this concerned me as I went through the first modules. I could imagine guys with less sexual experience (and social experience for that matter) getting into trouble by using the material in an uncalibrated way.

As you go through the course Lanoff helps you calibrate so that you are aware of the types of issues that could cause these unwanted situations. So, the further I got through the course, the less concerned I was about it. However, I still believe guys need basic conversation and attraction skills to avoid these scenarios (see further down for specifics)

The training and tools for communication in this section are primarily neuroscience based. They rely on principles from neuroscience for their effectiveness. There is also just a good part of Lanoff's experience. He often gives you stories about how he discovered what to avoid in communication or what works best.

It will be beneficial for men to study the entire course before using it to give them a complete calibrated background, and to also that they'll get the most out of it by going back and restudying. There's a lot of material in the course, and as with most things, you'll understand it better and in more depth once you've actually gone out and used it. Therefore, restudying areas after practice will allow you to see new things that you didn't see the first time.

The course covers communication in early stages of meeting a woman, which is more about helping you to attract her on a deeper level by connecting with her true sexual desires. This is the type of attraction that will separate you from men much more clearly, and is also an important ingredient of relationships, keeping them alive, and keeping the mutual attraction alive. This differs from conversational techniques that create attraction, which are fine and good for keeping the right energy over the short term, but aren't a permanent solution when it comes to attraction.

It then also covers communication during sex on several levels - verbal (e.g. dirty talk during sex), to physical communication, to mental connection during sex. The training in this course will transform the way you have sex, it's intimacy, and it's here that it has the potential to get women sexually obsessed with you - for the right reasons - because the sex is so damn good for them.

The course is full of examples, alternatives, templates of what to say and so on. This was extremely important, and is one of the main reasons this course received a good "Ease of implementation" rating, despite it being a tricky area. The templates and Lanoff's examples will set you on the right path and make all the difference. Once you're comfortable of course, you'll get more out of the system by moving away from his templates and experimenting to find what works best and suits your sexual expression best (and the sexuality of each woman). There will be some calibration involved.

Is the Course Legit? Is it Effective?
When reviewing any course the first thing I'll be ticking off in my mind is whether there are one or more of three proofs to support what they say the results will be: A) Is it based on any good science? B) Have I tested it and found it works? C) Does it fit my experience and that of our other editors? (i.e. I've seen this work like this before).

In the case of this course, it leverages quite a bit of science. The areas involved are primarily neuroscience related to myelin and neurons and how people learn, the dopamine reward-motivation mechanism, and mirror neurons and emotional transference.

I've already seen a good part of this course I've also seen work for me in the past. Many of the techniques or ideas I'd picked up along the way in my exploration, similar to Lawrence through having studied and looked at some of the areas he's been involved in.

There is a good amount of this course that is also new to me, but within the bounds of what I feel comfortable saying will work. It fits with how I've seen the truth of women, men and our sexuality and what attraction is. I'll be experimenting with the new parts myself, and will update this review later if I find anything ineffective.

Bottomline on this point. This is a standout product, a lot of innovation packed into it and not just repeating information seen elsewhere.

Will You Find the Advice in This Course Elsewhere?
This is a unique course due to the fact that Lawrence Lanoff has some broad studies and experience behind him. Innovation often comes through merging different ideas, and that's what Lanoff has succeeded in here, by combining neuroscience, NLP, hypnosis, and his background as a director and writer (storytelling / movie/ writing techniques).

Since Sex God Method was taken off the market a few years ago, the best “Mental Game of Sex” course at the time, there's been a bit of a gap to fill. I haven't had a really strong option for the guys that have come to us wanting to expand and develop their sexuality, improve sex with women on the mental level, and leverage sex psychology. This course ticks a lot of boxes in terms of what guys need to improve their sex life and sexual connection with women - filling that psychology of sex gap.

However, there are some courses that have elements that are similar. If you've studied the following courses, you'll have seen some of the ideas and may even recognize some of the techniques, although it will be a relatively small proportion of the course: David Tian's The Desire System, Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction courses in general, and some of David Shade's courses.

How Easy is it to Make The Language of Lust Work for You?
This course has set itself some big goals in terms of getting you to change your mindsets and behaviors. These include rewiring your brain, changing how you relate to women, and getting you to translate all that into action and how you talk to women.

So, it was never going to be the easiest course to implement. However, Lanoff has done a very effective job of making it as easy as possible.

In fact, Lanoff's experience in teaching and mentoring really shines through in this course. Making something easy to apply and actually implement in the real world is always the hardest thing to achieve when creating these courses.

In the main training a lot of care is taken to use stories and analogies to pass on information in ways that anyone can relate to. Then more importantly, there is a big emphasis on:

  1. Plenty of word for word examples of what to say and how conversations should flow
  2. Clear steps (1, 2, 3, 4...) are given to you at the end of each module to make it easy to immediately start practicing it.
For those of you who are not willing to invest the ~1 hour into listening or watching each module's trainings, a Quick Start training is provided that basically summarizes all the other trainings into action steps.

Tip: An efficient way to study this course would be to watch the Quick Start video in each module first, go out and practice it, and then return to study it in more depth if you get stuck. Anyway, I recommend that everyone watch the whole course as I did, but understand that some may not want to invest the time.

Study Confusion - Disorganized Trainings Inside Modules
When I first entered the membership site, I wasn't totally sure where to start. There are many modules and 4 to 5 parts in each of them, without any numbering system or a clear "start at top and work your way down" system. There were a couple of comments from guys studying the course who had a similar issue deciding where to start and in which order to watch or listen to the parts of the modules.

What I ended up doing was watching the Quick Start videos first (which are often at the bottom of the module page) and then going to the top of the page and working my way down through each training from top to bottom. That seemed to be the correct order.

Who is This a Good Fit For? Who Shouldn't Buy This?
This course is without a doubt the best "Mental Game of Sex" course to be created to date. It's a great fit for men who have not fully developed their sexuality, sexual confidence and communication. In other words, if you tend to feel inhibited, feel anxious about sex, or dissatisfied with your sexual experiences, it's going to be very helpful.

If you have been unable to talk dirty with women or don't feel comfortable with it, it absolutely blitzes this area. I don't think there is anything else to learn beyond what you'll learn in this course.

The course is not directly targeting men in relationships or if you are single. Having said that, men in relationships or who are a least seeing women on an ongoing basis (e.g. friends with benefits), rather than one night stands, will get more value from this course - and be able to use it fully. A good part of the content works best with ongoing relationships where you have time to develop the unique sexual connection with a woman.

For guys who aspire to be the most attractive version of themselves, and completely satisfied with their sexual life and relationships - I'd say this is a must buy. I'm certainly going to take a lot of it with me.

However, this course, as with most courses, is not for everyone. The situations where I would not recommend you buy this: if you cannot yet hold a conversation with a woman, or get her initially attracted to you.

This would mean you have some work to do on basic conversation and attraction skills (and potentially your image) before you can make use of this course effectively. The courses Conversation Escalation and Say Hello, and 51 Handsome Guy Secrets are the most effective to get those basics down in this case.

The other situation where this will not work for you (at all) is if you are not interested in developing your sexuality. In other words, if you don't want to use the course to work through and eliminate your sexual inhibitions and anxiety, and explore and develop your sexuality - well, plainly put - that's an important requirement for it working. So it won't work for you in that case.

Does The Language of Lust Live Up to the Video/ Marketing?
The video for The Language of Lust makes some big promises. If you haven't watched it or need a recap, I've laid these out below, and then I give you the reality. What the situation really is.

The Big Promises
  • Which women it works with? It can make any woman sexually obsessed with you.
  • How your life will change? You should be sleeping with 3 women per week or more.
  • How easy to use is it? How much effort does it take? It's as easy as saying a few words, and you get the results automatically.
The Reality
  • Which women it works with? Nothing works with 100% of women - and 100% of situations - and that includes The Language of Lust. However, what you learn in the course will get women sexually obsessed with you if you put into practice what you study. It does work, and will give you a good probability of getting the result you want.
  • How your life will change? It's possible to be sleeping with 3 new women a week, and I've personally lived that lifestyle and Lanoff has also (Note: He talked about this in my interview with him here). The course would put you in a good position to do that, but it's not guaranteed and it depends on many factors. How much time you have free is actually the biggest factor. Most people have jobs / a career and so on, and thus won't be able to put the time in to do that.
  • How easy to use is it? How much effort does it take? You have to put the work in to get this course to work for you. You have to do the exercises at home to develop your sexuality, which takes time, and you have to put the time in to practice the practical examples and communication with women from the system.
So the big promises don't fit exactly with the reality.

On the good side, the course really is effective at getting women sexually obsessed with you by A) Developing you into a top 1% sexual man (most men will never develop their sexuality to the level asked of you in this course) and B) Teaching you how to communicate with women on a sexual level (both in and out of bed).

On the negative, the course has over promised on how many women it works with, how many women you'll be sleeping with, and how much effort it takes to put the system into practice to make it work for you.

Further Resources to Help You
We have featured everyone The Language of Lust course in podcast interviews previousy:
  • The Lawrence Lanoff interview from June 2015 where we dug into "The Mental Game of Sex", his lifestyle, his years working with Playboy models and on and on (great interview).
  • Reid Mihalko interview on developing your courage to express your sexuality

This course makes use of a variety of techniques and areas of science that we have also covered before on Dating Skills Review. So you can check out some of the following to get more background on the course.

The Bottom Line
At the price of $47 this course is really a no brainer for all men except those I identified as it not being a good fit for (lacking basic conversation and attraction skills, or not willing to develop your sexuality). It's the best "Mental Game of Sex" course (and 80% of your sexual skills and sexual connection with women is mental).

By approaching this course with the mindset of getting out of your comfort zone, putting in some practice and work, it will course contribute greater attraction, sexuality, and satisfaction to virtually any guy. And that includes me. I've benefited a great deal from this course myself (which doesn't happen so often these days with 15 years of study and experience in this area of life). Excellent work Lawrence Lanoff. This will go down as a new milestone in men's sexuality and journey to bettering themselves.

Help other users find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you?