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Secrets of 5 Minute Chemistry
Home Study Courses (Books, DVDs, CDs, MP3/ Video)
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful

"Great Advice Overall. Surprisingly Bad Example of Frame Control (coming from Sinn)"

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All in all, this is a great program.
However, when talking about Frame Control in part 3, Sinn says,
"The best example of Frame Control is when this girl said to me,
'We're not having sex tonight,'
and I said, 'C'mon...we both know we're having sex.'
That's an example of reframing."

That is the worst and clumsiest example of frame control I've ever heard. And it's not reframing.
He just argued with her
and it happened to "work" that time
(well, at least she overlooked his mistake...but it didn't help him).

A real reframe would be,
"We're both grownups--we'll do what we feel like doing."
(unspoken subtext: we don't need to follow other people's rules,
we are free agents, I don't judge you for having sex)

Another reframe would be,
"Why do you have sex on your mind so much?
Is this all about sex to you, because that's disrespectful to me if all you see in me is sex."
(unspoken subtext: she's chasing you, you weren't even thinking about sex, you care about her for more than just sex, if you have sex with her, it will mean something).

My above 2 examples are REFRAMES.

Sinn's 'best example' is not even a reframe at all, by definition.
I've used my above 2 examples many times, especially the 1st one,
and not only do they work, but they are examples of frame control.

Sinn's example (which he claims is the best example of frame control)
is arguably one of the worst things you can say...I would almost say it sounds like a needy ultimatum.

Just arguing with her outright makes you sound hungry for sex,
and also invites her to prove to you that she's in control.

In his example, he didn't change the context at all,
he didn't change the frame around the picture.
All he did was argue with her content.

Aside from the above, I didn't notice any glaring bad advice.
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