"Tinder Guide With A Few Good Ideas, But Outweighed By The Poor Examples And Terrible Writing"
August 04, 2014
FULL DETAILED REVIEW
How To Pick Up Girls On Tinder is written by Matt Ryder and is another product to focus on the popular dating app that has taken the world by storm. The fact that there is so much information available now about Tinder should tell you how popular it is, and it's worth checking out as another avenue for you to meet women.
There are a few interesting ideas in this book, but unfortunately the overall quality is quite low. One of the biggest problems I had reading it was just how sloppy the writing is, as there are far too many mistakes throughout it and at times I was left confused. When things like this are so easy to correct, it's just unacceptable to have so many errors and the book suffers greatly as a result. In terms of the design, it looks much more professional and is not as lazy as the writing.
The basic product is a 40 page e-book, but we don't actually get to any real content until page nine. Before that is just title pages and telling you what to expect in the book. And as there are full pages devoted to displaying the next chapter, be aware that the actual amount of content is closer to 25 pages.
It's quite short, especially for the price. A better product and much better value for money is Conquer Tinder. If you'd like to hear from the author, check out this podcast that Angel Donovan recently did with Chris Harders.
Why You Should (And Shouldn't) Use Tinder
No matter where you live, chances are there are going to be a lot of attractive women in your area who use Tinder. So it's a great way for you to build up more experience texting hot women, and if you can get them to meet you, a good way to get more experience going on dates.
It's also really helpful for testing out what gets you the best response with women. As the only thing they have to judge you by is your photos, you can experiment and see if a certain look or image gets you a much improved response, and this can then be used as well when you're going out to meet women in real life.
And that's the key to Tinder, you should be using it to complement what you're already doing out in the real world. If you're using Tinder as a crutch and it's your only source for meeting and dating women, it's making you lazy and will do more harm than good. You still need to be actively going out and meeting women in different environments if you want to reach your full potential.
In this book Matt says that he is only 'average at best' in meeting women in person and also that he had more sex in two weeks via Tinder than he had in the rest of his life combined. This lack of experience with women shows in some of his examples, and in some cases he succeeds in spite of what he is doing, not because of it.
He also says that he took some of his friends who were dorky, overweight guys and taught them how to better use Tinder and they got more matches. This kind of thinking appeals to the guy who wants to date really attractive women without doing any work himself to become more attractive. To just push a few buttons and send a few texts and have women lining up to meet you.
This is fundamentally flawed and if you fall into this trap you'll severely limit your growth and success. You may get some matches on Tinder, but you still have to meet the girl in person and if you're a guy that hasn't got a handle on the basics you're not likely to do well.
Photo Selection And A Conversion Hack
The photos you use are going to largely determine your success or failure at getting matches, so it's the most important thing you need to get right. This book mentions a few different categories of photos to include to convey who you are to women.
The advice is quite standard and it would have been helpful if some actual photos were shown for each type of category to give you an idea of what to aim for. Sometimes the advice is solid but the reasons behind it are incorrect. For example, yes it's a good idea to have a shot of you outdoors doing an activity, but women don't look at the photo and assume you must be rich enough to not always be working, like Matt suggests here.
There's a particular strategy suggested here that has been proven to dramatically increase the number of matches you get. I know about it because I read an article by the guy who came up with it. This is perhaps the best thing in this product, however it's obviously not an original idea. Something that the innovator warned, and which isn't mentioned here, is to be careful with it as it may result in your account being deleted by Tinder.
I'm not sure how seriously Tinder would take this issue, but it is possible they wouldn't look on it kindly. Without going into too many details, it involves manipulating your photo/s to look as if Tinder itself has recommended you to their users. There is enough information here to show you how to do this as well as an example photo to show you how it looks.
Conversations On Tinder
The book says that there are three stages of conversation, proceeds to list four stages, then describe three of them. In any event, this is what it takes to go from the first message you send through to getting her number or arranging to meet.
Matt lists the top three openers that he uses. You'll have to experiment with these, and others, to see what works best for you. If you read this book then take note that in the 3rd example the word should be 'we' and not 'with'. Also be aware that the second example is sexual and you risk coming off creepy. If you want to get a high percentage of replies, this would not be my default opener.
There's another example given, which is claimed to have almost 100% success, but I wouldn't recommend using it. Feel free to try it out if you like, but it conveys low value and there are better ideas you could use.
You'll also find a suggestion for a message to send in case she ignores your opening message. Again, I'm not sure what the reasoning behind this particular message is as it conveys low value and comes across really needy. The other idea for an opener is to respond to her profile as if it was a question and I actually have no idea what this is supposed to mean. It's one of the instances where something is worded in a confusing way, and no examples are given when clearly one was needed.
There's a chapter on one night stand game and the following chapter is on date game. They show examples of the first three or four messages you might send and how to lead towards getting a phone number. So it's good that there are some more examples here, but it's not covered clearly enough how to lead things towards a one night stand if that's your goal. There is an opener that is sexual in nature, but beyond that I'm not sure what the difference was between ONS game and date game.
Phone Numbers And Dates
The examples in this book show that getting a phone number on Tinder is really no big deal. The suggestion here is to call girls after you get their number as it'll give you a better chance of meeting them. This is something you might want to experiment with, but personally I prefer to text them instead. In any event, if you do want to call them make sure they're aware that you're going to call and don't phone them out of the blue.
Be careful about texting too often though before you've actually met them. Matt advises that if you're texting her at night to text her again in the morning, which sets up the vibe for you to text each other throughout the day. Based on my own experience, I would suggest not doing this. Better to let her think you're a busy guy with a life than show her you're so available that you can spend all day texting with a girl you've never even met. Having also been on the other side of things, I can tell you I find it annoying when I give a girl my number and she continually texts me. Save some conversation for when you meet in person.
As for going on the date, there is a 5-step plan of what to do when you meet up with her, with the date taking roughly around 90 minutes. It's more of a broad strokes view of what to do, but it's decent enough advice and you may want to try it out. It's not the only kind of way to structure a date, and if you're a beginner you may have to try out a few different ideas until you find what works best for you.
There's also a section on what to do if your goal is a one night stand instead. I think this section could have been explained in more detail and made clearer. Like most of the book, it feels rushed and is confusing in places. For instance, the example of saying to a girl "If we have fun, let's go watch a DVD" doesn't even make sense.
It's possible also that Matt's relative lack of experience hampers his ability to go into intricate detail on what to do. When you read other material by dating coaches who have many years of experience, they have a deeper understanding of the pschology behind all the tactics and can generally provide clearer instructions of what to do along each step of the way.
Actual Message Exchanges
There's a bonus book that's 15 pages long that provides written transcripts of Matt's conversations with girls from Tinder. There are good and bad examples in here, and if you're a beginner you might not be able to figure out which is which. If you have more experience with dating skills you should be able to see why some of the things he says are quite weak.
For example, in the first transcript there is a lot of approval-seeking and low value comments on his part. There is a part where he asks her how he is doing and says he deserves a date. In his notes to the reader, he says this is a joke, but it's not clear in the exchange. Quite rightly, the girl calls him out on this and says he looks desperate.
There are other poor examples, like qualifying himself and telling a girl that he is a bad boy. It's not clear if this is meant to be a joke, but it just comes off as lame and it's not the best resource to learn from.
One of the issues could be that it sounds like Matt is quite young, as he mentions one of the girls he meets is 18 and from the examples some of the other girls are clearly quite young. Some of the message exchanges here are full of lots of errors and are typical of what you'd expect of teenagers and some of the early 20's crowd. If you're older (30+) you might find some of it a bit hard to relate to.
On the other hand, the messages are generally a good example of how to tease girls and keep it light and playful. There's also some good demonstrations of persistence, as at times he asks for the number or date only to be denied, but keeps barreling through until he gets a positive response.
Cheat SheetThere's a one page cheat sheet that contains Matt's favorite openers, messages, closes and general conversation pieces. It's pretty much mainly stuff from the main book, but here you've got it all on one page for easy reference.
TemplatesIf you're interested in doing the photo manipulation hack that can lead to a big increase in matches, there are some image files here that you can download to add to your photos. Note: You'll need Photoshop to be able to use this tactic.
The Bottom Line
If this were the only product that dealt with Tinder then perhaps it would be worth checking out to bring you up to speed if you've never used it before. But the fact is this book is of a below average standard and we can't recommend it. Instead we suggest you check out Conquer Tinder, a more professional product with better advice and also at a better price.
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