"A Wealth Of Information on Image And Style. Pick And Choose What Elements Are Relevant For You."
December 07, 2013
FULL DETAILED REVIEW
Factors such as your age, height, weight, race, skin tone and the climate of where you live are just some of the things that are going to be important to consider when putting together your wardrobe. What this book emphasises is developing a sense of style that is a reflection of who you are and helps to express yourself attractively to others. A lot of guys neglect this area when they start to learn dating skills, and in reality it's one of the things you should focus on improving as soon as possible as it will help you make a better first impression and make everything else you learn that much easier to use.
One thing you need to be careful of though is placing too much emphasis on how attractive the clothes you wear makes you. Ultimately you want your confidence and self-esteem to be based around your personality and who you are, not external factors like your wardrobe. At times Seduce With Style overplays the importance of your fashion sense in attracting women. The problem with this is that when some guys do get success with women, they attribute it to the shirt they were wearing, their flashy accessories or the way their hair was styled. So their confidence is based around dressing and looking a certain way, rather than in who they are, which is not healthy long term.
While you want to make sure you look your best, the book makes it out to be reasonably difficult to attract hot girls unless you have an advanced level of style. For the most part this isn't true, as there are guys who have even just a decent level of style who hook up with hot women regularly. Note the use of the word 'decent' though, and not 'bad'.
If you have a poor sense of style and look like you don't belong in that particular venue, you're going to have a really tough time getting girls to talk to you. Most attractive women have such a keen interest in fashion and spend a lot of time and money trying to look as good as possible, that if you don't even bother to make yourself look presentable, it's like you're in two different worlds.
The book does a really good job of teaching you the basics of style. If you follow the advice here and go out and apply it, you should be able to develop your sense of style to at least the point where it doesn't work against you. It also goes into how to take your style to a more advanced level, which will be of interest to some people but not everyone.
Getting The Foundations RightThe book goes over some of the basics that you need to get a handle on, mainly hygiene and grooming. This includes showering every day, brushing and flossing your teeth, wearing deodorant and taking care of your hair. A lot of the advice seems really simple, but there are some guys who still don't pay attention to this stuff. If you approach a girl and you smell bad and have rotten breath, you're never going to get anywhere. So it's really worth taking the time to implement the core principles that are taught here into your everyday life.
One of the topics that is talked about here that is a bit more subjective is that of body hair. From Vince's point of view, it's best to keep all body hair to a minimum. While this is good advice for trimming nose hair, removing any ear hair and keeping pubic hair trimmed, a lot of guys might not like the idea of trimming their leg and arm hair. It's something that he chooses to do himself, as do other men, but it really isn't necessary if it's not your style. I know of plenty of guys who have hairy legs, arms and chests who do great with women.
Your body itself is part of the basics that you should work on. Vince talks about the importance of being physically fit and how having a good body will help you appear more stylish and clothes will also look better on you. There's a supplemental book that comes as a bonus, called '30 Days to a Great Body', so this will give you some idea of where to start if this is an area you need to work on.
Picking Out Your ClothesThe meat of the book is really all about clothing and accessories and how to use them to convey your personality to others. As the author points out, the goal you should have is to become attractive, not fashionable.
One of the main things that is stressed is to make sure that you wear clothes that properly fit you. Whether it's a suit, collared shirt or casual T-shirt, it's really common to see guys wearing clothes that are too big for them. Wearing clothes that are too baggy for you doesn't flatter your body and shows women that you don't know much about style. There's a few dating instructors throughout the book that present a quick list of their rules for style, and one thing they all agree on is that you need to wear clothes that fit you. This book will give you a good guideline of how to choose clothes that fit your body well.
Another thing that's talked about is the use of different colours. This is one of the areas that might cause a bit of confusion for people, and you'll probably want to get some feedback from other people as to what colours look best on you. Depending on your skin tone, some colours will be better suited to you than others. Vince makes it clear in the book that he is a big fan of using bright colours, and says sticking to the more neutral colours can be safe and boring.
On the other hand, the advice from one of the contributors is that neutral colours are better and bright colours will make you stand out for all the wrong reasons. This is an example where different experts have conflicting advice, and there really is no right or wrong answer. Vince does talk about how you can use colours in a more subtle way, such as 'accent pieces', to help brighten up your look without being over the top. To give you a rough example, wearing a bright purple suit probably isn't a good idea, but if you wore a well-fitted black suit with a bright purple tie, it helps add some colour to an otherwise plain look.
There is a colour wheel included to try and show you which colours match each other well. It's easy enough to make sense of matching the colours that are next to each other, but when you're told to also try matching some of the opposite colours it can get confusing as to which ones you should try and which ones you should avoid. This is why getting feedback from women when you buy your clothes will be an enormous help.
There's a lot of advice given to everything you could possibly want to wear. Jeans, slacks, T-shirts, collared shirts, sweaters, vests, suits, jackets and more are all covered. The depth of knowledge here is quite extensive, and in particular has a lot of great advice on how to layer your clothes. This is one of the things that can really separate a guy from fashion novice to style genius in the eyes of many women. Vince shows you how to add different types of garments so that they complement each other and help create an overall look that is stylish and attractive.
The advice is really solid and worth learning about, but the extent to which you apply it or not will also be determined by the climate of where you live. For example, at the time of writing I am based in Bangkok and haven't seen a single guy wearing a leather jacket, a scarf or a coat. But when I lived in London the majority of people would be wearing these items due to the cold weather. So if you're somewhere warmer, you can still use layering to combine different tops together, you'll just be more limited with your options.
To Peacock Or Not To Peacock?If you're familiar at all with the pickup community, then you'll probably know the term 'peacocking'. Basically it refers to dressing a certain way or wearing different items with the intention of standing out and drawing attention to yourself. It can be very effective, but you need to know what you're doing to make it work. The concept was first popularised by Mystery, who would go to clubs dressed in outlandish outfits that fit with his image of being a professional illusionist. But problems would often arise when beginners would try and copy his style without his level of social experience or his colourful identity.
And this is an issue that Vince points out on numerous occasions in his book. If you're going to dress in a way that's going to force a lot of attention on you, then you must have the confidence and social skills to be able to back it up. Because if you present yourself as a larger than life character, but then hide in the corner or can't hold a conversation, your image won't fit your personality and you come off as incongruent. This is all explained really well in the book, and it's an important concept to grasp.
There are different levels of peacocking though, and you don't have to go to extremes to take advantage of the principle. The page with advice from Nick Savoy is worth checking out, as is the photo of him. He says that peacocking is stupid, as women don't want to be seen with a clown. But he is talking about the extreme form of peacocking that won't be suitable for most guys, and instead advocates dressing so that you don't blend in. You can see that he has a few earrings, a necklace and a cool looking shirt.
You can take advantage of these items, and also a ring or two, an interesting belt, a fashionable hat etc. to use peacocking on a more subtle level. Don't wear too many items at once, all you need is two or three to help you stand out and give you a more sexual look.
If you do want to go all out with it though, it can work, but won't be ideal for most guys. As an example, there is a page of advice and a few photos in the book of a dating coach named Arash Dibazar aka Achilles. He's covered in tattoos, including on his face and head, and makes heavy use of peacocking. He says it's a look designed to attract certain types of women, such as strippers and bartenders, but will also be a turn off for many normal girls. He's also heavily into martial arts though and his look fits in with his identity and background. I know guys who have a similar style to this, who do really well with attractive women, but it's a very polarizing look.
Some people make snap judgements that people with this look are likely a criminal or gang member, and this can work against you. For example, in a number of nightclubs now in Australia you won't be permitted entry if you have any visible tattoos showing. This is due to the problems associated with certain criminal affiliates that are heavily tattooed, so the answer was to ban anyone with tattoos. So just be mindful that getting tattoos can have certain consequences, especially if you work in the corporate world. There's no doubt that most women say they find tattoos on a man sexy, but you shouldn't rush out and get inked, especially on your face, just in the hopes of attracting more women.
The other thing to be mindful of is the suggestion of using props when you go out to the clubs and bars. It's clear that Vince has been heavily influenced by the Mystery Method, and this comes across with his general style of how he appears to interact with the girls. There's the suggestion of taking playing cards, an iPad, microphone, board games or other props to the venue to help you attract girls. Generally, this isn't the best idea for most guys. I know a lot of girls who think it's cheesy when a guy starts doing magic tricks in the bar. The guy may get attention, but it comes across as him trying to entertain people as a way to get their approval. I can't imagine where you'd be going that you'd want to take a board game or a microphone, but you certainly don't want to be taking items like this to a bar or club. And of the house parties I've been to, if someone brought along a board game they'd most likely get laughed at.
Budget And Time ConstraintsIt's pointed out in this book that you don't need a huge budget to put together a look that is stylish and will attract women. Even if you just focus on clothes that fit well, you can find cheaper options to fit your budget. If you have more money to play with though, then it's worth investing in a really good pair of jeans and some nice shoes. These can be the staple of your outfit when you go out at night, and then you just a few different shirts/T-shirts and this alone can make a huge difference. Vince recommends a budget of $500 to go out and put together a really good look, and this is probably a good ballpark figure. You can definitely do this for cheaper, but often the more expensive items are better quality and will last you longer.
This isn't covered in the book, but if you can afford it you might want to consider hiring an image consultant to help you develop a new style. This is what they do for a living and they know what clothes will complement your body type and skin tone, and also what's currently in fashion. Just make sure you check their references and go for one who can show you before and after pictures of guys they have helped.
If this is out of your budget, a much easier way is to visit a few stylish shops and tell the girls working there that you're looking to put together a new look. Try on some different items and ask them to give you feedback on what looks good. Just be aware that it's their job to sell you their stock, but most girls will be more than happy to give you their honest opinions.
It also shouldn't take too much of your time to go out and upgrade your look. Some guys might be a bit put off because Vince makes it sound like this is a never-ending process to try and look your best. This might be the case if you're like Vince and also have a strong interest in fashion and spend time going to runway shows, reading style mags and testing out different products. But you don't need to take it to this extreme or spend at least an hour getting ready every time you go out. He details all of the skincare products he uses, colognes, pheromones, hair products, salon treatments etc. It's really a bit much and bordering on obsessive in my opinion.
For the majority of guys they don't want such a strict, time-consuming and expensive regime just to look a bit better. And in fact most women will tell you that they don't want a guy who is so vain that they spend more time on their appearance than women do. So all of the information here is good, but don't get caught in the trap where you think if you don't apply all of it religiously then you aren't going to attract girls. Some of the ideas are purely speculative, such as using pheromones that you can buy online. There's no evidence these are going to work and you'd be better off investing your money elsewhere.
The Bottom LineIf you aren't too confident in your ability to dress in a way that helps you attract women, this is a great place to start. For many guys, this is an area that causes a lot of confusion and this product will help point you in the right direction. While it covers style in a general sense, the majority of the focus is on what to wear for bars and nightclubs.
Because a great sense of style is a very individual thing and dependent on so many variables, a book is never going to be able to personalize its approach so that it fits everyone. Some of the advice for taking your style to an advanced level is only going to be relevant for some, and could cause negative reactions if not done right. So you'll do well to follow the advice in the book, which is to experiment with different looks and get feedback from people to really get a sense of what looks good on you.
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