"Pretty Basic Guide On How To Address Lack Of Sexual Satisfaction In Long Term Relationships"
November 30, 2013
FULL DETAILED REVIEW
Some people will be happy about this, as they don't want to get bogged down with a dense read. They might appreciate the fact that there are a lot of pictures and image devices that help break up the page and make it more visually appealing. They might find it convenient that a lot of different magazines, books and journals have been used to extract information from, which can be easily digested.
On the other hand, some people will feel the book is being padded out and they aren't getting as much value as they were hoping for. They might be disappointed that the book doesn't present anything new, and relies on a collation of material from other sources.
A lot of the material comes from magazines like Men's Health, Maxim, Cosmopolitan etc. and is simply a reprinting of some surveys they ran. These aren't always the most reputable sources, as you don't know how large the survey group was or if there was enough diversity for it to be statistically relevant. The subject of these surveys is often somewhat trivial, and the answers are really going to vary from woman to woman.
So please be aware of how this book is structured before you buy it. Personally, I think the price of $47 is on the high side when you consider how little fresh content is presented here (if you elect to purchase the book as an audio product as well, the price is $67). Typically most of the products that we review here that consist solely of an e-book will be less than $40 and have more content. But it's also worth noting that you're not really paying for the information, you're paying for what that information can do for you. And if even one of the tips in this book (and you should get a few good ideas) can get you more action between the sheets with your partner, then you might consider it money well spent.
Self-Diagnosing Your Relationship ProblemsSo this book is written with the premise in mind that you're in a long term relationship and aren't having a fulfilling sex life anymore. Moore offers up a number of things you can try and do to get your woman responding more favourably to your sexual advances, some of which may work. The real issue is that you're going to have to try and figure out for yourself why you aren't enjoying the same kind of sex life that you presumably used to.
Have you talked to your partner about your unhappiness with your current sex life? It's something that many people can feel uncomfortable discussing, but often any short term discomfort will be replaced by long term pleasure if you both let each other know what you want. There's a few ways suggested here of how you might be able to bring up the topic and have fun with it.
There's also suggestions of things that are supposedly going to make a woman feel more like having sex with you. A lot of these boil down to giving her more attention and making her feel appreciated, such as sending her flowers or writing her love notes. So the effectiveness of these kinds of things is going to depend on what's causing her lack of sexual interest. If she feels like you are neglecting her and cut off emotionally, then some of these ideas are likely going to help.
But if there are other reasons for her lack of interest, then doing all the household chores and smothering her with affection might not make a bit of difference. So if you can determine for yourself the likely cause of her sexual reluctance, you'll be in a much greater position to fix the problem. That's why being able to discuss your sexual frustrations and fantasies with your partner is so important to making sure you are both satisfied.
Missing Some Pieces To The PuzzleOne thing the book does try and get you to do early on is look at how your own actions could be causing a lack of sexual attraction. But it really only examines this from a mostly superficial point of view and leaves out a lot of important information.
There is some really basic advice to make sure you are keeping yourself presentable, such as dressing well, getting a haircut, 'manscaping', wearing nice cologne etc. This is worth pointing out, as guys can tend to get complacent in this area when they settle into the comfort of a relationship/marriage. It doesn't really go into specifics though and there's no real resources provided on what to do if you need to improve your appearance or fashion to help get that spark going again.
But where the book was really lacking for me was in the whole area of what causes women to be subconsciously sexually attracted to a man. With all of the collective body of knowledge in the area of dating skills, we are privy to information that goes a lot deeper into the psychological reasons women are naturally drawn to men, and this goes far beyond what you see in the typical pop-psychology type articles you see in glossy newsstand magazines. And since this is where Moore has sourced a lot of her material from, it's not as comprehensive in scope as other dating products on the market.
This book doesn't delve into the fact that attraction is often a fleeting feeling for women. Just because she is attracted to you one day doesn't mean she will be the next, let alone maybe ten or twenty years down the line. Exchanging vows with someone doesn't give you carte blanche to start acting in unattractive ways, but this is what many guys do without realising it. The same behaviours that we learn to convey to create attraction when first meeting a woman, are still applicable no matter how long you've been together.
So things like leading, being emotionally unreactive, being playful and challenging her among others are all still relevant. If you're unfamiliar with the concepts of masculine and feminine polarity, and playing your gender roles, then a really useful book to check out is The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It covers in great detail what it means to be living your masculine purpose in life, and how important this is for keeping women attracted to you.
Is this an area that you feel you have let yourself slip? Are you living your life in a way that shows your partner that you are pursuing what is important to you with drive and conviction? Do you still have the ambition to improve your life in all areas, or are you plagued by mediocrity and discontent? Your sexual attractiveness to a woman is often a direct reflection of the attitude with which you approach your life.
In this book, Moore gets it half right in saying that women want to feel more passion from you. But what she misses is that women not only want to be the recipient of that passion, they want to feel that you are following your dreams and goals passionately as well. With this in mind, you can see how sitting on the couch on weekends watching sport and drinking beer isn't going to inspire a surge of sexual excitement in most women.
Sexual Techniques And PracticesThe book does have a few chapters devoted to different sexual practices that you can work on to help arouse your woman. These cover various things such as dirty talk, role play, oral sex and sex toys, amongst others. It delves slightly into the area of sexual fantasies, and should help you to realise that women are just as open-minded as men in most cases, and your partner is probably willing to try new things in the bedroom, or anywhere else, if you create an environment in which she feels safe and excited to do so.
Since the book is primarily revolved around foreplay techniques, there isn't much information in the way of penetrative sex. There's a little bit of information on using your fingers to stimulate her g-spot, but it's far from comprehensive. If you're interested in learning more about this particular skill, a couple of solid courses to check out are White Tiger Tantra and also Squirting Mastery 2.0.
Similarly, there are some suggestions as to how you can mix things up in oral sex by changing positions and being more spontaneous, but there's not a lot to be learned here. This is as much due to the limitations of the ebook medium when trying to learn something that is best shown visually, as much as any fault with this particular product. One thing this book does make clear, and this should come as no surprise, is that many women cite oral sex as the most effective way for them to achieve an orgasm when with a partner. This is an important sexual skill to become good at, so if you're looking for more detailed courses on this subject then check out some other oral sex products.
There's a short chapter as well on premature ejaculation. I was surprised to learn that this is an issue that effects around 30% of men, so it's clearly quite common. If this is something you suffer from, you might find it reassuring to know that you aren't on your own here, and that the majority of women have experienced this. It is something that you should look to address though, as obviously it will make the sex more satisfying for your partner.
Moore talks about the benefit of seeing a healthcare professional and the substantial improvements that were noted in a study after taking prescription medication to address the problem. There's a brief introduction to the use of kegel exercises as a way to help delay ejaculation, but not very detailed. Another product that sounds quite promising in this area is Extreme Stamina by Jason Julius, which could be worth checking out.
The Bottom LineThis product is focused on married men who are wanting to have more sex with their wives, although it is still applicable if you're unmarried but in a relationship with less sex than you'd like. There is nothing revolutionary here and most of the advice is pretty basic, so you're not going to learn much in the way of sexual techniques that you probably don't already know. One thing the book is likely to help with though is getting you to realise that women want sex just as much as men, and if you and your partner can openly talk about the subject and both make an effort then you should be able to get things back on track.
If you're a single guy looking for ways to turn women on in casual relationships, this book will be of little value, except for showing you how important it is to keep making an effort if you do decide to get more serious with someone. If you're wanting information on more practical sex advice products, check out our Sexual Skills page.
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