"Disappointing Product With Negative Beliefs And Minimal Content On Dating Thai Women"
August 16, 2013
FULL DETAILED REVIEW
1)Western women are terrible
2)Thai women are awesome
3)Go to Thailand and marry a Thai woman
In a nutshell, that's about the entirety of the information on how to date Thai women. The author, Brian Stephenson, doesn't seem to have much of a clue when it comes to understanding what causes women to be attracted to a man, and if he does, he certainly doesn't attempt to explain it here. (Martin Hurley is credited first in this book for the photos, but Stephenson is credited with having written all the words.)
Instead, he seems to rely more on the fact many Thai women from the poorest socio-economic circles will date western men simply because of the financial security they can provide. That's not to say that none of the women were attracted to him, but the women he describes are all seemingly from a similar lower-class background.
And when it comes to the higher class women, he makes excuses rather than take any personal responsibility for why he is unable to attract them. The high class girls, known as hi-so (short for high society), are apparently all aloof because they are all married, according to Stephenson.
It seems absurd that anyone would make the statement that practically all women from a well-off background are married, but the author seems to want to preserve his ideal that all Thai women are amazing and friendly. By shifting the blame of their poor reactions to him to the assumption they are married, he doesn't have to be accountable himself or shatter his illusion of Thai women.
He makes the same sort of grossly ignorant statements about western women, claiming that they are all fat, lazy, selfish etc. The reality is he had some bad dating experiences in his own country (which he briefly touches upon) and is judging all women based on this limited data. It's so much easier for him to put all the blame on the women, than it is to take a look at himself and see why these women left him or cheated on him.
A large part of improving your dating skills is figuring out what you are doing wrong then rectifying those mistakes so you can continually grow. But if you are unwilling to accept any responsibility for the results you're getting, you are deluding yourself to preserve your ego. At no time in the book does the author state that he didn't have a clue about women, or that he did anything to consciously improve his success.
Possibly the most perplexing thing about the book is its lack of detail on meeting Thai women. He gives an example of some tourists who approach girls at a train station by asking them what their name is or telling them that they are beautiful, and says this is terrible because it's unoriginal. But he doesn't suggest what you should actually do, other than just be polite and respectful.
The only thing that could constitute a dating tip is his suggestion that when talking to Thai women, you should ask them where is a good place to eat, and then most of the time they will offer to take you out. This isn't a very effective strategy to rely on, and the book suffers from a lack of techniques or principles you can actually use to meet women.
Random Pointless InformationUnfortunately it really appears that the author has gone to great lengths to pad this book out so that he can sell it as an information product. Of the 80 pages, 10 are taken up by cover page, content page, affiliate links etc. Of the remaining 70 a good few of the pages are half empty or taken up by riveting photos such as a guy sitting on a bench with the caption 'foreigner in southern Thailand'.
So I would say there is about 40 pages of content, and at least half of that is taken up by talking about the beaches in Phuket, hiring motorcycles and how you should ride slowly and wear a helmet, and random observations that should have no place in this book.
He points out things like how Thai people enjoy cracking their elbows and can't whistle. And how he enjoys taking the bus instead of planes, but they could be improved if they would fix the reading lights on the buses. What any of this has to do with meeting Thai women is completely beyond me.
This book also seems really disorganized in how the information is presented. There is no sort of coherent structure in the way it is ordered, it just seems to be thrown together and as such a lot of information is pointlessly repeated. A topic will be covered, then brought up again later for no apparent reason. Combined with the number of mistakes in spelling and grammar throughout, it just seems no real time or care was put into the product.
Anything Good About This Book?The book does do a good job of giving a general overview of Thai culture and practices. Having read the book I now have a better understanding of some of the customs of Thai people and why they are important to them. However, a lot of this information might have been better in a bonus book, as the focus is supposed to be on dating.
I would say this book is aimed at older guys who are looking to find a woman to marry more so than guys who just want to date. The focus of the book seems to be how to live in Phuket and the advantages of marrying a Thai woman who will look after you. As such, there is some information on the dowry system in Thailand, why girls might be reluctant to introduce you to their family, and reasons why parents are very protective of their children. This part of the book is solid if your intent is to get married.
Limited Personal ExperienceThe overwhelming vibe I got is that the author just doesn't have the necessary experience with dating skills to be qualified to write a book about it. The fact that he mentions in one of the bonus books that after his girlfriend left him for another man that he "struggled so hard just to get a woman to let him buy her a drink", shows that he doesn't understand how attraction works.
He also points out that while living in Phuket he didn't have any female interest for a whole year before meeting a girl that he started dating. Having been to Phuket, I find it staggering that any western man could go for a year without having someone show him interest, let alone a supposed authority on meeting and dating the local women.
There is also no real insight into dating in Bangkok, as the focus seems to be Phuket or other islands. It would have been interesting to get an insight into dating different kinds of girls, for example the hi-so girls in the upmarket areas, but he doesn't have the experience to talk about this.
Also there is a huge nightlife scene in Bangkok and some detail about the different areas and what they offer surely would have been a welcome inclusion.
While there are affiliate links provided in the book to some other products that teach dating skills, it's not clear if the author has read them and implemented their teachings. For example, there is a picture provided in the book of the author and his fashion sense leaves a lot to be desired, looking like a typical western backpacker.
It seems to me that the reason the higher quality girls showed no interest in him is that he doesn't understand social value. Meaning, these more elite girls would be embarrassed to be seen dating a guy who didn't fit into her own social circle, effectively lowering her own social value.
GeneralizationsThere are way too many gross generalizations here that simply reflect the ignorance of the author. For example, he says that 'western women make you feel like a sex maniac for cuddling up to them in bed'. If that's how women are responding to him, he needs to change his behaviour instead of assuming the fault lies with the woman.
He says 'most Thai women, naturally, are single, but there is an abundant number who are divorced and widowed too'. So women who are divorced or widowed aren't considered as single? This also contradicts with what he says about almost all of the HI-SO girls being married.
One of the issues that is touched upon is that of prostitution in Thailand. The author makes out that all Thai prostitutes are the victims of circumstance, simply doing whatever they have to to support their families. That really they are sweet, lovely girls who are doing whatever they can to survive. Yet all western prostitutes are drug-addicted filthy whores just looking for cash for their next fix.
His rationale with these beliefs is so over-simplified it is ludicrous. Yes, many Thai prostitutes work to support their families, but the same could be said of their western counterparts too. But the author's bitterness towards western women is so strong he chooses to see the worst in all of them, while only seeing the best in Thai women.
BonusesUnfortunately the bonuses are of about the same quality as the main book. There is a book on how to get a Thai visa, which is a bunch of information collated from the internet that you could find for free by doing a Google search. It is also includes a FAQ section, with questions so random and specific that they could have only been asked by one person and are therefore not useful for the majority of people.
There are a couple of books on how to meet a Thai girl in 10 days and how to find someone to love. The book about how to meet girls in 10 days revolves around using a social networking site called Hi-5, that is apparently popular with Thai people. But the last updated copy of this book was back in 2008 so things may have changed. In any event, it's pretty much just a rundown of how to sign up for an account and tips like 'use the best photo you have'.
The book about finding someone to love is a collection of personal stories from the author, mainly about Thai girls he happened to meet by chance and how it all went wrong. There is a theme throughout these of him looking to settle into relationships very quickly with the aim of marriage, and he often gets taken advantage of or left for another guy. Overall, there is not much value in these books.
The final bonus book is on how to live in Thailand for $600 a month. Basically, this amounts to going to live in a poor area where your money will go further. Common sense would tell you as much, and the book just lists the prices of different items so is not really that useful. If you're like most people and wanting to live in one of the bigger cities there is no information on how to live on a cheaper budget.
The Bottom LineThis is a poor product, plain and simple. It seems like the author was enthusiastic about being able to date women in Thailand after having no success with western women, and wrote this book to try and let other's in on the secret to his new happiness.
However there is nothing in here that most people would not already know or could find for free on Wikipedia. For a book on dating girls, the majority of the content is on arbitrary observations about the culture of the Thai people and what some of the best beaches are like, amongst other things you probably have no interest in. Avoid this product.
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