"A Must Have for Anyone Interested in Japanese Women"
April 15, 2011
FULL DETAILED REVIEW
I'm not an expert with Japanese women, I've only had 4 Japanese girlfriends over the years and spent just a few weeks in Tokyo itself. However, I do know Asia and Asians well, and I feel this is enough to give you a perspective on this book and its value - I recognise and have experienced all of the challenges the authors bring up. They covered most situations that I've come across, with a couple of exceptions that I'll detail below.
Comprehensive Cultural EducationSo many aspects of Japanese culture that come into play in social and dating situations are brought into this book. From situations, to communication, to activities - it's all there. Excellent job on there. These guys have deciphered Japan for you - I wish I'd had this book when I was in Tokyo.
This will help you to avoid many 'faux pas' in Japanese culture, which is your biggest concern. It will also enable you to make things smoother, which is something that Japanese women love - and respect - because it makes them feel more comfortable (an essential ingredient in dating).
There is a lot of tiny practical details to this, such as how girls like to communicate via email and phones (sekigaisen). This will allow you to eliminate the 'confusion' and 'misunderstanding' factor that your actions will have with Japanese women, which can easily sabotage a relationship before it gets started.
Practical to the ExtremeThis is not some abstract, theorized book. It's steeped in practical steps and suggestions from 'date templates', to example conversations, to detailed stories from first meeting a girl to the end conclusion, to recommended lines to use when you receive typical questions or answers from Japanese girls.
The authors have obviously spent a lot of time thinking about how to make this really implementable - and it is a real success. I'm not sure you could do much more in a book format to make it more easily implementable (audio and video products or a bootcamp can achieve more of course).
At times I wondered if they had actually taken the practicality too far, by going into the detail of exactly how you structure dates - but then I looked back to my beginnings with dating advice and realized how helpful they would be. Following these templates has both 'cultural uses' (ensure that you fit activities within norms so that the girl feels comfortable) and set the logisticis up right for a good conclusion to dates. This takes thought, and here they've taken the thought out for the beginner. Great.
To give you an example, they go into detail of how to use activities such as "Karaoke", Izukaya and so on. They tell you what doesn't work in these places, how long you should spend there, what cultural issues to avoid and so on. It really is a lot of detail. If you like guidance and rules to follow - you'll love this.
The date templates themselves are focused on Japan itself and the typical activities there - so that part will be most useful to you if you are going to Japan for holiday or you live/ are going to live there.
There is quite a bit of Japanese written and verbal words and phrases are given throughout. You'll find this a pretty good language learning assistance guide, as the vocabulary is a lot more relevant than that you learn with standard Japanese language learning books and courses - trust me, I'm a polyglost, I've been there.
Things Missed Out - Limitations of the Perspective of the Authors?This is a great book - but it's not perfect, take these comments in that light.
Judging by the comments made here and there about money, I'm going to make an assumption that the authors aren't making a lot of money in Tokyo and have a slightly limited social lifestyle. I'm not saying this to be rude, I think it's helpful background to their perspective which seems to be limited on some fronts.
Some of the places that weren't covered were the high end 'underground' clubs, the different styles of the districts in Tokyo, Shibuya and hosts.
For the high end 'underground' clubs are 'hidden' (for the exclusive effect, which I found intriguing), rather expensive, and operate on a different level which I didn't see discussed here. In these places I met the best looking Japanese women, and also the most challenging.
In each district of Tokyo, which I feel deserved more attention as most people will at least pass through there - and is the homeground of the authors - there is a completely different vibe. Roppongi is known for being more Guijin friendly, while Shibuya is a lot more Japanese. They did mention the business districts and their bars - but it sounds like the prices mean that the authors aren't experienced with them.
One of the implications of this, is that if you're the kind of guy who likes high status women, then there is more to learn beyond this book - it is an excellent start - but you'll need a lot more than the suggested practices to attract and date high class women. Part of the reason for this is that the book is 'shallow' on attraction. In reality, this isn't a big deal if you are not aiming for great women, because the advice they give you on it will take you far enough to attract most women - it will leave you still struggling with the higher class / quality women however.
It's a pity the authors didn't explain the whole 'hosts' dynamic in Japan - it is an interesting element, and as they mention is patently observable in Shibuya. There is a good TV documentary on it if you want to google it.
One last observation is that things can move a lot faster naturally than the authors let on. My personal 'limited' experiences and those of some of my travel companions in Japan were meeting girls and going home with them within the hour or them coming straight back to our place days later. I was surprised at how fast things escalate compared to other Asian cultures. And it was all very 'romantic' and natural, which was one of the things I loved about the place. The signs are subtle that this is what the Japanese girl is looking for, and there could have been more detail on this and picking up on it.
So overall, what I'm saying is, this is certainly great for beginners - but it remains too basic for those at an advanced level.
Maturity of the AdviceThere is a lot of maturity contained within this book which makes it useful for 'relationships' with Japanese women and not just attracting and dating them 'short term' style.
The knowledge and information is sensitive to their needs, while not being overly indulgent of them - it strikes a pretty good balance on most accounts - certainly very useful for beginners.
The BottomlineThe authors of this book have pulled out all the stops to make this 230 page book really practical. Great work and especially relevant where it comes to a foreign culture where there is a lot more than just dating that you have to deal with (communication, social norms etc.).
If you are going to live in Japan or have just arrived, this book is a must to have as a reference. You'll read it more than once. It's worth buying just for the cultural education aspect. It will also cut your learning and frustration time with dating down hugely - no matter how experienced you are with dating and attracting women. Japan is different. This is the best guide we've seen to date on overcoming those differences.
Was this review helpful to you?
December 21, 2015