#98 The Mental Game of Sex with Lawrence Lanoff

#98 The Mental Game of Sex with Lawrence Lanoff

#98 The Mental Game of Sex with Lawrence Lanoff

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Lawrence Lanoff Bio
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Today's show is about the mental game of sex. We often talk about psychology when it comes to sex. We talk about the mental side being important. We've had many various speakers and experts on that. This, today, is going to go a bit deeper.

We're going to go into the communication because when you understand that a lot of sex is mental, you'd start to think or question, "Ok, but how do I create this mental aspect of it? How do I improve this mental aspect of sex because it seems super intangible, and it's hard to understand because it's a very abstract idea?"

A lot of it comes down to how you are communicating about sex and how you are communicating on a more sexual level. So this is what we're going to dive into today and get to some practical details about. It's going to include things like how to talk dirty with women in bed, and how to be comfortable with sexual type language.

Today's guest is Lawrence Lanoff. He's got such a broad CV - where to start. He's been a Playboy photographer and a film director. So he's spent a lot of time with Playboy models over the years. He has a PhD in Cognitive Studies as well. He has studied Tantra since the age of 12, which is absolutely incredible. He had a very cool mom.

He is also the author of a recent course called The Language of Lust, which you may have seen in my review about, and I thought it was great. So often, I find a new course, or one of our editors find a new course, which jumps up in the rankings and gets into the top 10, or replaces an editor’s choice. This is definitely that course because we've been looking for something that approached the whole mental game of sex for a long time. So it's a good quality program.

I also met Lawrence in person in L.A. just recently, like last year. So I knew he was the real deal.

Lawrence leads the lifestyle and he has a ton of real life experience in this area. This is a great, in-depth interview with lots of practical tips.

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Specifically, in this episode you'll learn about:

  • Lawrence's background and how it has led him to where he is today (07:45)
  • Sex and sexuality: how the channels of sex and dopamine go hand-in-hand (24:22)
  • Lawrence's approach to sexuality, sex, and having great sex (25:50)
  • Accessing a state of relaxed sexuality (34:00)
  • Great sex and the implications of not being in touch with yourself during sex (36:18)
  • Is the 'average' experience of sex really mediocre? (39:51)
  • Being aware from the moment of meeting someone that you are engaged in the dance of sex: a purpose to social bonding (42:30)
  • Doing things differently from more of a mental than physical level (48:33)
  • The struggle to accept each others sexual desires, with consent (53:15)
  • Steps to connecting on a deeper communication level, sexually and otherwise (1:00:11)
  • How to connect with Lawrence to learn more about him and his work (1:09:42)
  • Recommendations for high quality advice in sex and sexuality (1:13:29)
  • Top three recommendations for guys starting in dating, sex, and relationships (1:13:57)
Give some love to Lawrence on Twitter to thank him for the advice in this interview.
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Items Mentioned in this Episode include:

  • The Language of Lust: Released April 1, 2015, Lawrence utilizes more than five years of research and personal testing in offering his system addressing female sexual psychology and the secret erotic language of the feminine mind. It is designed to activate a woman's sexual obsession for you and functions as a life, sex, and 'get a girlfriend' survival guide for men. The system is a collection of tools to activate a woman's lust on command, establish a mutual connection with a woman, and open her up to her erotic pleasures. Lawrence also recommends his other programs, which are listed in the section below: Books, Courses and Training from Lawrence Lanoff.
  • LawrenceLanoff.com: His website offering sexuality and sex expertise. Lawrence teaches definitive ways of changing your behaviors, thoughts, and actions towards a life of freedom and pleasure. His teachings help others to demolish imprisoning beliefs (sexual, psychological, financial), cultivating pleasure to achieve happiness, and experiencing an awakened body and focused mind.
  • Lawrence's YouTube channel devoted to upgrading your beliefs, improving your sex life, and expressing more freedom and pleasure in your life. It includes a continuous flow of new ideas and material.
  • The Art of Radical Self AcceptanceTM on YouTube

  • Lawrence's 30-day sexual breathing (Tantric) challenge on YouTube. This challenged is designed to build energy and cultivate sexual energy in your body.
  • 30-Day Tantric Breathing Challenge on YouTube

  • The Game (Neil Strauss): Lawrence referenced this book while discussing his approach to sex and sexuality, and how many men restrict themselves to following the rules of a particular process (model) to achieve a goal.
  • Reid Mihalko: Lawrence noted sex education expert Reid Mihalko and his "difficult conversation formula" while discussing steps to connect with someone on a deeper communication level. Lawrence also recommends Reid for quality advice concerning sex and sexuality. Reid has been featured on our Dating Skills Podcast: Ep. #58 Developing the Courage to Express Your Sexuality with Reid Mihalko
  • Juicy Enlightenment: Lawrence recommends, and co-teaches with, Monique Darling. Her website is devoted to self-development, spirituality, and sexuality. She helps to empower people towards a life of self-expression, trust, and wisdom.

Books, Courses and Training from Lawrence Lanoff

Full Text Transcript of the Interview

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