Ep. #72 Casual Hookups vs. Committed Relationships with Justin Lehmiller PhD

Ep. #72 Casual Hookups vs. Committed Relationships with Justin Lehmiller PhD

Ep. #72 Casual Hookups vs. Committed Relationships with Justin Lehmiller PhD
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Today, we've got an interesting round up of some of the latest insights into casual hookups and relationships in general. We've visited some different types of research lately, most notably we had Zhana Vrangilova talk about her research on the topic of casual sex. And today we have another scientist, this time one who looks at dating from a bioPsychoSocial perspective- that's to say integrating the research from biology, psychology, and social studies. The nice thing about integrating research from different disciplines is that there's a lot of cross checks to make sure we're getting a valid view of reality. And you know, I'm big on facing reality. No matter if it means looking at things that we dislike about it or are uncomfortable with it. Understanding reality better always leads to better results - the discomfort is necessary if you want to improve your situation.

Today, I talk to Justin Lehmiller, a PhD in social psychology who has published more than 30 academic pieces in the leading journals on sex and relationships. He also maintains a blog keeping up to date with the latest from biology, psychology, and social studies and what it may mean for today's dating world. Dr. Lehmiller's own research focuses on topics including secret relationships, casual sex, sexual orientation, and friends with benefits.

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Specifically, in this episode you'll learn about:

  • Justin's scientific background (03:05)
  • Self report surveys in social studies used to assess people's sexual interests and their reliability in affecting the quality of sex research (08:05)
  • Verifying external sex related data to validate research (11:55)
  • Justin's confidence in his research results and how research studies are perceived (14:05)
  • Repressing aspects of your sexuality through self-control and how it affects your sexual decisions and actions in other ways related to, for example, online sexual searching, pornography, and physical intimacy (18:30)
  • Sexual fantasies and how much they evolve due to repression or a certain type of lifestyle (22:45)
  • What Justin has and is looking into in the area of sexual fantasies (24:27)
  • Interesting findings in types of relationships (e.g. friends with benefits) (27:20)
  • Secret romantic relationships: those who do it, why, the implications for the quality of the relationship, and for your own personal health and well-being (33:30)
  • Things that have stood out over the course of Justin's research discoveries; regarding the use of smart phone applications for matching and hooking up (38:09)
  • Indicators of commitment when getting into a relationship (45:30)
  • Mate poaching research: stealing someone else's partner (48:20)
  • A view on porn as a desensitizing addiction (51:03)
  • Recommendations for high quality advice in the casual sex area of dating, sex, and relationships (52:45)
  • Top recommendations to help men get results as fast as possible with women (53:27)
Give some love to Justin on Twitter to thank him for the advice in this interview.
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Items Mentioned in this Episode include:

Books, Courses and Training from Justin Lehmiller

Full Text Transcript of the Interview

Click Here to Read Transcript

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