Ep. #2 Building Intimacy in Relationships without Losing Your Manhood Strength with Future
- His break from the game for 1 and half years in a relationship and what he learned.
- The top 3 things he sees students do wrong.. time and time and time again...
- The difficulty of moving to relationships after learning the game and how to develop intimacy without losing your strength as a man.
- The most important things to focus on to develop your strength.
- How to know when you should change something about yourself to get good at game and improve your life, or when to leave it because it's a good part of you.
Books, Courses and Training from Future
Full Text Transcript of the Interview
[Thompson]: How's it going?
[Angel Donovan]: All good, all good. Okay, well, so it’s really cool to be talking to some of you guys. We’ve got some of the Love Systems guys on the call over the next few weeks. And Thompson has actually been in the community and around for a very, very long time, so first of all I wanted to get a bit of background on you, exactly when you got into the community, when you started all this, because you’re really one of the people who have been around here the longest and one of the guys that's been working with Love Systems the longest.
[Thompson]: Yeah, I mean, I had been working at Love Systems the longest beside Savoy. But, I mean, my background was, like a lot of other community guys, especially from that time period where I got out of the Marines in 2004 and came to New York and thought, you know, being a veteran, being 23 at the time and being able to buy the coeds at my college beer, certainly vaginas would be flapping down from the sky, and it turned out that was not the case. Which it shouldn’t have surprised me because I was the kind of kid, you know, I played Magic: The Gathering and Dungeons and Dragons and I loved video games, and so it’s like these aren’t the kind of hobbies that sort of grow your game. And so when I was in high school, if I went to a dance at all, I would read poetry in the back and Marines had to force me out of the barracks to go and play reindeer games. So the fact that I arrived in New York the city didn’t go, “Hey, yeah, lots of hot young girls to fuck you, we got that right over here! That’ll be this,” no, that wasn’t how it worked.
So I went to a David DeAngelo seminar, and the seminar itself was the clubs and bars seminar, I’m sure he's got a DVD out and I’m probably on it because I asked some questions. And the seminar itself was kind of crap but you know, it’s like anybody who finds this stuff where it’s a whole new way of thinking, so I was like, “What? This is crazy. There's a whole community. There are like all these people doing this.” It was like, there was no The Game at that point and there were no TV shows. There was no Keys to the VIP. There was nothing. So it was just the Internet and a bunch of horny dudes trying to figure out what their brothers and fathers hadn’t taught them, and it was awesome.
So I took my workshop with Mystery in March 2005 and Savoy invited me to be one of the first approach coaches for the company, and there's a lot more there but I feel like I’ve already taken up time with this question. So September 2005 was when I started working with the company, and I think later in that month or early October, that month, I got on the website, and that was me.
[Angel Donovan]: Wow, so basically over five years now, and that's a pretty long [overlapping]
[Thompson]: Almost six. Yeah, almost six. It’ll be six with Love Systems in some form this coming September.
[Angel Donovan]: And still going strong.
[Thompson]: Yeah. No, I mean, you know, I took a hiatus when…I fell in love with a girl I met on August 20th, 2007 and I took a hiatus from the company, and came back to work on…I left the company December 27th, 2007, and on May 9th, 2009 I did my first bootcamp again with TenMagnet and Cajun. And I had a real job in that period of time, and I think about it as this is the greatest job in the world. I mean, it just is. There are a lot of downsides, but like my job is traveling the world. I change lives every weekend. I have to flirt on the job. And I’m a creative, I write, I do standup comedy, and so like being around people on the edge of emotion all the time is so inspiring and so exhilarating. And it’s amazing, and I meet the most amazing people and I get to have a transformative role in their lives. It’s exciting to go to work all the time.
[Angel Donovan]: Yeah, so that's kind of interesting, you know. So you took, it was like a year and a half out or around…?
[Thompson]: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
[Angel Donovan]: That's quite a big break. One of the questions I’ve had in the past is, are these skills that you pick up and you develop, and then if you don’t practice them for a while do they just kind of disappear and you have to kind of struggle up that hill again? Or, you know, when you came back in 2009, was it just like straight back into it as if you’d never been out of it and it’s just something that's kind of natural?
[Thompson]: No, I don’t think…I’m not that kind of personality. I’m a pretty emotional guy. I’m pretty sensitive. I really would. I’ve often been out where it’s like I want to renew the supply or I’m just horny or I’m hungry or whatever, and I’ll be in the middle of a bar or of some watering hole with my friends and I’ll be thinking, “Man, I really want to find out what happens next in that book.” So that's where I’m coming from. I’ve had to learn how to make those environments fun, and I think that one of the things that makes me…one of my positive attributes as a teacher is that I can identify with students who don’t necessarily think that clubs and bars or going out expressly to meet women is a good use of time. But I also don’t lie to myself about being a horny male.
So the skill set definitely atrophies. For me it’s about common use. It’s just that because…you know, I had this talk with myself when I fell out of my relationship, and I think a lot of guys who leave a relationship can identify with this, where it’s like you’re like, “I was this guy, like what happened?” and you have to remind yourself that you’re still the same person. It’s just a matter…it’s a reference point.
One of the things that I find really interesting about particularly coming back into the world of sort of tactical seduction or dating science or love systems after a long hiatus from a relationship is that relationships, for a love relationship to work there has to be a mutual need, and I think that balancing the level of need, you know, as anybody who studies this stuff knows, like neediness is toxic to attraction, and the thing is like, if you don’t need someone, why are you exclusive with them? If somebody needs to be like, “Oh my God, the sun rises out of her ass,” like that's the person you have to commit to.
And while that is great for a relationship, you still need to maintain your own strength. You need to be iron. You need to, you know, this certain part. You still cannot be weak.
And I think there is a great tendency in men, possibly for all time, certainly these days, where when you get into a relationship you soften, you relinquish that edge, and I think that it turns off women. It’s one of the reasons why women sort of find themselves disillusioned with the “once he-man” that they took up with. And also you find that your edges have dulled when you go back into the dating world and when you’re acting with other women, you realize that you soften, and I think you definitely have to take the whetstone of experience back to your edge and hone it.
And I think that's for any guy in a relationship, because I get a lot of jocks and warriors and people who like they’ve had girls thrown in their lap and they married a 10 and then, you know, just didn’t work out, and then they’re like, “Aahh, whoa, what happened?” And that's a matter of sort of coming from a different reference point. And those guys get good really quickly, and I don’t know how much practice they need but I imagine it’s less. Whereas for a guy like me, you know, I don’t have some of the background that some of our instructors do, so I really do, I have to practice. I have to make use of the skills. That's part of who I am, is a little less hyper-masculine than sort of what I know to be the path of least resistance toward getting women.
[Angel Donovan]: Right. And, like, would you say that that's something that you could change about yourself but maybe you don’t want to because you’re happy the way you are?
[Thompson]: Yes, but to me that's certainly the essence of what makes this stuff interesting and beautiful and tragic, is that you cannot—like guys will say, “I don’t like clubs and bars,” right? Like guys will say, “I want to get a new 10 every night and play Halo like at tournament level or something.” It’s like, what aspect of yourself do you have to sacrifice in order to get good with girls?
And one of the hardest parts about learning this stuff is taking a hard look in the mirror and acknowledging that there are some parts of yourself that are going to…that can change and should change because they reflect an aspect of you that is mired in fear and that is terrified of change. It’s a reflection of an insecurity that you probably should have outgrown. And a lot of guys fall prey to that, and we have a tendency where instead of describing a behavior we identify with it. We say, “This is who I am.”
And what I think anybody learning this stuff should do is kind of be open-minded to all experiences and try to really be submissive before life and try to eke joy out of any experience, because you might find after a year of doing it that you have different interests and different enthusiasms and that you are a different person. I find that after doing the work that I did to get a very high level of skill with beautiful women, some parts of me change, and I had sort of gradually like a poison adopted contempt for certain aspects of my former self. But I still love escapism, you know. I’m still a nerd, and I always will be, and I don’t…
And that's the other part, is you go, okay, well, if that's an aspect of you that you are…at what point do you make changes explicitly for the sake of getting more women and at what point are you going to accept that that's part of who you are and anybody you want to spend time with you need to just do the work of accepting who that is, sort of like down to the simplest level of like extinguishing the notion of guilty pleasures, I mean really insidious stuff.
There’s a tendency in people who…in any of the information about this stuff, including our literature at Love Systems, it’s like be yourself is such terrible advice. Be yourself is terrible advice as it is presented to people, but be yourself is actually the best advice. Which one of the things that Braddock mentions in 9 and 10 Game, the interview series that we have, he says…one of the things that really struck out was he goes, “You need to be authentic. You need to be authentic. You need to be authentic.”
I think being aggressively yourself is really good advice, and that means like digging deep down and finding out who you are and not being lukewarm about life. It’s not necessarily that you have to be an extrovert. It’s not necessarily that you have to be James Bond in the corner. It’s that you have to wholly commit to being who you are, and I think that that ties into the fear that I mentioned earlier that a lot of guys give into that inhibits their growth. And I believe that it doesn’t just inhibit their growth with women. I believe that their growth with women is a symptom of a greater sickness that is borne from a habit of fear. Hello?
[Angel Donovan]: Yeah, I’m here. Great. Great stuff. No, I just took a few notes down there because you basically went for a whole bunch of topics that were interesting. So one of the things was that…is there some kind of test, basically? Because what you’re saying is like, you know, there's bits of you that you should keep and they’re good, and then there's other bits that maybe you have to break out of your comfort zone. Because some of the time what we think is good might be actually the comfort zone, we feel comfort with it so it feels good, but it’s not actually something that is giving us value in our lives and is contributing to it. Is there some kind of test or some way we can help ourselves to identify which parts of us which we should be kind of breaking down and exploring and opening up to new areas versus something that we should maybe work on as a strength and is good for our lives?
[Thompson]: Hell yeah, hell yeah. I think the test is fear. I think the test is just throwing yourself mercilessly at your fear and making yourself uncomfortable. I think the comfort zone is one of the most dangerous and insidious and seductive mindsets that we fall into, and it’s complicated because as a society I think one of the things that we have fallen into is the mistake of confusing comfort, pleasure, happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment. All those ideas kind of get lumped together.
Pleasure and happiness are not the same thing. There's satisfaction and fulfillment to be found of really hard work, and there is pleasure and fulfillment to be found in sacrifice, and we forget those ideas because, in the case of something like seduction, for instance, our boners. But I think that your fear lets you know what you need to do next a lot of times. You know who you really are when you test yourself against your fear, you test yourself against discomfort.
And I say pursue uncomfortable situations. Travel to a foreign country alone. Approach women who are intimidating to you. Take up an activity that you think you’re too dumb or too unathletic or too weak or something like that to pursue. You know, lateral thinking. Learn an instrument. Learn a new language. Do something that's…check yourself. Check your level of comfort. And I think that that's probably…that's the best thing.
The other thing I would say is practice, I don’t want to say the word abstinence, but I want to say to abstain from certain things. I…man, video games. I have a lot of simulated memories, let me put it that way, and I really abstain from playing video games for a really long, for me, a very long time, something like 18 months, 20 months, when I first found this stuff. And that was a concrete decision where I was like, “I want to work on this, and anytime when I have a controller in my hand or I’ve got a mouse and keyboard, then I really need to be working on this other thing.” And that was an illuminating choice, and at the end I came away sort of understanding myself more, but that was giving up something.
I think part of it is like, you know, some people should even give up sex, and people should give up chasing women. Like, find out who you really are. And I think that's the test, though, is looking at your own fear and looking at the things that bring you…that give you peace and satisfaction, and testing what you would be like if you did without. Which is very Marine advice, by the way, so [overlapping]…
[Angel Donovan]: Yeah, I mean, given your interesting background. I just want to check that actually, like I’ve got down that you wanted to become a priest originally.
[Thompson]: Yeah, I was very religious. I was very religious. I didn’t want to. I thought I was going to. I thought that that was what was ahead of me.
[Angel Donovan]: Right.
[Thompson]: And, you know, I was very dumb, so I…probably I’m still dumb, but I thought somehow I could be a priest and yet also maybe be like a famous actor or something like that, somehow like I was going to make them work together. And then I had sort of a life-shattering relationship, and it really shook my faith and I came away sort of not convinced that ordination and that kind of thing…
And by the way, priest, somebody left a comment on my blog about the word priest and they think, oh, a Catholic priest or something. I’m using it very…I’m being very snooty with my language. So let me point it out, I wanted to become a minister because I wanted to become a Presbyterian…ordained in the Presbyterian Church. We can get into a semantic argument, but to be more specific, that's what I wanted.
[Angel Donovan]: Yeah. That means like you haven’t had a problem with putting yourself in different positions, from wanting to be a priest and then the military and later you were a comedian. I’m not sure if you’re still a comedian, but you know, it’s quite a variety of different areas.
[Angel Donovan]: So you’re certainly kind of proving what you’re saying, basically. I mean, it’s what you’ve done.
[Thompson]: Yeah, I mean I think that's maybe one of the things that—you know, everybody comes into a situation with certain advantages. You know, when they learn about the world of seduction or whatever you want to call, it when they learn that there are people out there who have thought about this and sort of tried to take this dirty or highly organic analog process and desystematize it into something repeatable, everybody comes into it with different strengths, and mine was an existing tendency to punch my fear in the face as well as a pretty good sense of humor, and I think those are…but yeah, some guys come into this much taller, much better-looking, more athletic, richer. Everybody’s got their advantages. But yeah, I probably did set off on the right foot with that.
[Angel Donovan]: Well, another thing about, you know, you’re saying you gave up video games for a while, there's focus, right? There's a lot to be said about focusing on developing a skill set for a while and really…it’s going out a lot with high frequency, it’s reading a lot. There's a power to focus. Is that something that took a role and that you advise your students to do, like focus on this area for a while?
[Thompson]: Yeah, I mean I think that if dating a 10’s one of your goals, I think that realistically, going out two times a week, Friday, Saturday, you’re not going to see a dramatic growth but you’ll see a growth if you pay attention and you commit to learning. But I think that anybody who has really risen above, you know, vastly beyond what they expected when they found this stuff like I did…you know, I was guilty of hero worship. I had my idols in the secret underground Internet seduction community, and sort of one by one, you know, you sort of burn those idols. You go, “Oh, that person is not quite what he's cracked up to be.”
And I think that relentlessness has a lot to do with that, and I think that anybody who really, really rises above where they were before has taken it with relentlessness. And I think probably the most important thing, if I was to get it in sort of an action format, you know, as a teacher I want to give something actionable, that the habit is more important than anything else. It’s more important that you approach seven days a week if possible. If you approach two girls seven days a week, then you’re doing better.
If you approach 20 girls a night on Friday and Saturday, then what you’re doing is it’s a sort of side thing. You’re doing the weekends, and you’re that much farther from being an attractive person and it’s just a thing you do on weekends. And I think that because this is something…to get better at it as a skill, and like any skill there is the pursuit of mastery, then you need to commit to it, and commitment toward a skill where there is success or failure invariably involves sacrifice.
But if you…you know, a lot of guys stop that, and I think that's fine, because I think that you do have to figure out what you really want, and for a lot of guys they might think that they want 10s or whatever, but what they really want is someone. They want to feel less lonely. And I think if you apply this stuff consistently, and by apply it I mean like get out of your house, go talk to girls, that's essential, your options inevitably expand. And it’s actually probably a pretty small group that actually take the stuff and really, really run with it, but if you really want to dramatically improve your results, you have to be really hard on yourself and you have to make a lot of sacrifices.
And those sacrifices sometimes are something trivial like video games, and sometimes they can be financial because there's an opportunity cost and you’ll miss business because of it, and sometimes you end up sacrificing friends because as your reality changes and as your perspective on the concept of value and the concept of your friends who are the guys that you smoke pot and eat ice cream with while finishing a six-pack and watching TV with, like you realize, “Oh, those guys are doing shit. They’re not healthy,” and then they accuse you of not being yourself. So you have to go through the crucible in order to emerge as something stronger. I'm using a lot of imagery in this conversation.
[Angel Donovan]: [Laughs] So yeah, one of the things that you touched earlier, I wanted to go back to, was when we were talking about relationships…
[Angel Donovan]: ...since before you took your hiatus and you were out there. So relationships as you say are probably, you know, they are the main reason that a lot of people get into this. However, often people get a bit sidetracked once they’re into it, but often they’ll come straight back. They get sidetracked because it's all new and distracting and there's also a bit of social pressure maybe from the community or from the other people they’re connected to. But then they often come back to this relationship, right? And I think it is one of the challenges to move into the relationship area after you’ve been maybe learning some of this stuff, so I wanted to talk about it briefly, especially as I know one of the topics you worked on for a while was Breakthrough Comfort, and it’s kind of linked.
So, in a relationship, in the level of intimacy you want to develop, as you were talking about earlier, you were talking about being strong in a relationship and not losing that. How do you make the difference or how do you balance or how do you find that you have to move, you can have both strength and intimacy and develop the relationship and maybe the softer side, the way you look at it?
[Thompson]: Fuck, man, I wish I had a better answer. I mean, I’m really good at getting girls to become retarded for me, and that's what a guy wants. A lot of times guys are like, “I don’t like that,” and so Breakthrough Comfort’s not for them because it’s not…you know, if you don’t want those extreme emotions then don’t take the class, and it’s really not appropriate because it’s a very powerful tool. I think that anybody who understands it and employs it will get girls acting like that, well they’ve got inarguably…
And I shudder…this is complicated but I don’t…I feel like this is reverse-engineering love. It’s not…anybody who’s ever been in love has experienced all the little elements of breakthrough comfort, and it’s not…it’s an atom bomb. But as far as relationships go, man, I don’t know. I’ve had this conversation with a lot of instructors and a lot of guys who do this like at the level where we do it.
It’s hard, man, because if a girl tries to press on you in a way that you don’t want and you care about her, but also you know that a boundary is being pushed. And guys say, “Well, you have to train her.” It’s like yeah, okay, to an extent you can train women but, you know, and…to a large extent they can train us, though that becomes about frame control and it’s like, how much do you really want to fucking control your fucking frame in a relationship, man? Like isn’t that the point, that you’re supposed to be able to relax?
[Angel Donovan]: Yup.
[Thompson]: You know? And you know, I don’t have a good answer because I’m seeing girls right now who are very sweet and very compliant, and I’ve laid down hardcore boundaries where if you press for too much then I will be a fucking Thompson-shaped cloud of dust It's just my style. I will no longer be there. Don’t press me. And that comes from experience where girls press and you go, “We’re supposed to be having sex and here you are, you’re crying. I have a movie to watch,” you know?
And I don’t even like saying that because it sounds so heartless, but I hope there are guys out there who can identify with me. But it is…it comes down to being ridiculously overwhelmingly yourself and knowing the things you can’t bend on, knowing when to bend, knowing when to break, and in order to do that you have to really know yourself, like in a way that I think most people walking around don’t really, really know themselves. It’s easier to get into the ongoing world in your cubicle and your car payments and your big-screen TV and just all the easy achievements of life, or the hard achievements, but you get lost.
And so in the community, right, you’ll get guys who are like, “Relationships, fuck that!” It’s like, really? Really? Intimacy and bonding with another human being, like having someone who’s there for you, somebody to depend on, somebody who like takes care of you when you’re vulnerable? “I don’t get vulnerable.” Really? You don’t? You don’t have any demons visit you in the dark at night? “No, I’m 100% positive all the time.” I don’t believe you.
And there is an inherent tragedy in being a sentient, upright human being. And I just think that women, their intuition and their emotion and their ability to be in the moment in ways that we can’t or often can’t just bring a lot…and I question people’s ability to maintain that really serious hardcore intimacy with multiple people at the same time. And I think a lot of men worry about what other people think or they have their sort of version of masculinity that they need to uphold, and so the idea that they might need intimacy at some level is scary to them.
Fuck, you know, and some of them don’t, by the way. I don’t want to make a generalization about shit. Like, hell no. If you’re out there and you’re thinking, “That doesn’t sound like me. I just want to put my dick in anything and hear a girl screaming or completely ignore her because it feels so good around my dick,” that's fine too. But I think a lot fewer guys have that inclination, and I think that we get seduced into wanting the sort of proto-Aphrodite who falls…checks out certain boxes. And I think being honest with yourself when you’re screening for women…screening women for the kind of traits that you desire is really important, and that's how to sort of spark the relationship.
As far as being in it, once you have like a hardcore skill set, my hat is off to you because that is a hard, hard, hard thing. And I’ve fallen in love twice since I was good enough to teach this shit, and both times there were really serious consequences to the fact that I was like, “I can go and replace you right now.” Of course, you can’t replace them. That's what love is. But you can definitely see situations that will be a lot less complicated, a lot less difficult.
And yeah, I mean, love is such a strange thing because it really is about reconfiguring your priorities to include somebody else’s, and that kind of selflessness is not community talk, you know. Part of this that willingness to please and all that. I hope I’m making some sense. I’m kind of rambling but I…
[Angel Donovan]: Yeah. No, I mean there are different types of relationships as well, right?
[Angel Donovan]: So one person may be happy with another person that they’re going to be happy with in terms of the boundaries…
[Angel Donovan]: …not in terms of the intimacy. Like you say, each of us has parts of us, and you know, someone wants a lot of intimacy, or another guy, he doesn’t want that intimacy, he's like really focused on his career and he just wants to come back to a wife, if he gets married, like the weekends, and have someone there, you know. So there are different types of ideals we all have I guess...
[Angel Donovan]: …which will make all that much more complicated.
[Thompson]: I mean, the thing is I feel like in this topic, you know, there more granularity we apply and the more examples of different types of men and women that we talk about and the different scales of beauty, it’s such a huge topic, and I think it essentially boils down to knowing who you are and having that enter into when you’re getting a woman to qualify herself. Like the actual tactical part of qualification is your measuring investment and your rewarding of that investment, your rewarding her for caring what you think enough to try to impress you and advertise herself, or your trying to validate her for something that, yeah, your validating her for her investment in your own life, you know, providing compliments in a way that's meaningful.
[Angel Donovan]: Right.
[Thompson]: That's tactical, like that's how to sleep with them. But for yourself, you need to actually get them to qualify themselves on what you want, what you need, what you’re looking for, and that's going to be different for everyone.
[Angel Donovan]: I think what you just like made me think of, I mean what you’re saying, that pretty much applies to developing intimacy in the relationship as well. Normally you’ll have the girl, she kind of makes a play for greater intimacy, you know…
[Angel Donovan]: She’ll be saying something really nice to you…
[Thompson]: And she has to.
[Angel Donovan]: And that's where you…
[Thompson]: [Overlapping] Again, Future tips, men should never move toward escalating the level of intimacy of relationship ever, ever, ever, ever. I know somebody out there listening is going to be like, “Aha, I’ll be different! I’ll be different!” And it’s like, and I wish you the best, but like, man, that’ll burn you. That'll burn you bad. Anyway, sorry [overlapping]
[Angel Donovan]: You’re saying from the guy side, right?
[Thompson]: Yeah. Yeah, guys really shouldn’t…
[Angel Donovan]: They shouldn’t proactively escalate intimacy, that's what you’re saying.
[Thompson]: Yeah, like it’s…again, there’s a percentage where that's not going to be the case, but for the most part you have the more masculine role in the relationship, right, which there's a certain background that I kind of assume for people who are listening to this, but if you are the more masculine element of the relationship, women want somebody who is more powerful than they are and this is part of their role, is to be the one to try to get more intimacy from you.
[Angel Donovan]: Right.
[Thompson]: And you can be open to it, in fact you can be waiting like a cat ready to pounce, but you can’t…it is a thorny path to be the one to be like, “I think it’s time we move to the next step.” It's not that it never works, it’s that it almost always is going to be better off if she’s pushing. Is it going to be verbal? Is it going to be blatant? Maybe, maybe not. But…
[Angel Donovan]: Yeah, I totally agree.
[Thompson]: Yeah. Anyway.
[Angel Donovan]: Yeah. So, I mean, when she does go for that, obviously, I think something that guys have to keep in mind is that they have to make sure they’re rewarding it, like you say, right? So if they do want that intimacy and she’s going for it, then they reward that type of behavior…
[Angel Donovan]: …same with the original pick-up.
[Angel Donovan]: Okay, like, you’ve done a good runaround here. One thing I wanted to ask you before we go, is what is the number one thing that either you’ve found important in your development or that you consistently find is important for your students? You know, just that one thing that comes to mind.
[Thompson]: That one thing.
[Angel Donovan]: Don’t want to pressure you. [Laughs]
[Thompson]: Well, can I make it three?
[Angel Donovan]: Sure, if that’s what it is.
[Thompson]: I think, and I included it on my blog, I just recently finished something I’ve been working on for like a year, which is the Big Ten Rules I teach, and the three things that I see guys making mistakes for over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again that would just…their game would be changed so fast, you know, the degree to which they can fix these things is the whole degree to which they would improve at that rate, and the first is, “Don’t ask permission.”
Don’t ask permission to talk to anyone. You don’t need permission to talk to anyone, and this goes quadrupleful for beautiful women. And if you’re getting rejected five times in a row, you are asking permission. Your body language, your voice tonality, something about you is saying, “I hope this goes well. Is it okay if I talk to you?” And if you do that, a lot of times the answer’s going to be, “No, it’s not.”
And the next one is, “Everything I say is right, and everything is going according to plan,” should be sort of your mentality. That's how to handle any shit test, and any problem that comes up, just you have to be unflappable. And developing an impervious to negative external pressures is one of the most important skills, so like never going, “Did i fail a test?,” you know.
Girls like, “Are you gay?” or “You’re fat,” or “Why are you wearing that shirt?” you’re just going to go, “Ok.” You know, you have that moment where you feel like you got kicked in the chest? You can never ever have that, and the hotter the girl the more that nanosecond spoils the impression of your confidence and kills it.
And then the last one is to escalate. It is something that a lot of guys have problems touching, they have problems…you know, be the gropey guy and then learn where the boundaries are. And that's stressing this, by the way, if you’re listening to this and you’re a motherfucker, don’t be the gropey guy and don’t rape women. But if you want to get good at fast escalation and you want to get good at closing, you need to learn what the boundaries actually are, and so you need to discover physical boundaries and relationship boundaries instead of determining them. Guys draw a line for themselves, and as a result they don’t get the results that they want and they don’t get them as quickly as they want.
So it’s don’t ask permission to talk to anyone, everything I say is right and everything’s going according to plan, and discover boundaries, don’t determine them, and I did all of these on my blog FuturisticWords.com, and I did seven other rules as well. So yeah, that's what I would say.
[Angel Donovan]: Okay, great. So was it Futuristic.com?
[Thompson]: Futuristic Words and Love Systems.
[Angel Donovan]: FuturisticWords.com. Great. So if you want to get those other points…great points, Thompson, man. Okay, well, it’s been great talking to you today.
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DSR Podcast is a weekly podcast where Angel Donovan seeks out and interviews the best experts he can find from bestselling authors, to the most experienced people with extreme dating lifestyles. The interviews were created by Angel Donovan to help you improve yourself as men - by mastering dating, sex and relationships skills and get the dating life you aspire to.
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