60 of 63 people found the following review helpful
"A Solid "Inner Game" Book (With Solid Bonuses)"
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Reviewed by Syboh Seven
Last updated: December 16, 2009
The Good: Good content. Easy to understand. Quite a few new ideas and perspectives, many of them going in the other direction from the usual clichés you hear. Great looking ebook.
The Bad: Too light on techniques (but after all it’s a mindset ebook with a focus on Natural Game, so can we blame them?). Last part could have been better organized.
The Bottom Line:This book simplifies the game considerably. It teaches you to focus not on techniques or controlling people, but on controlling yourself. You will learn to manage your thoughts and express yourself freely, in order to become a natural.
An excellent read for beginners to intermediates.
This book was the first successful product to come from Vin DiCarlo and his Dicarlo Coaching team. The company has gone on to create much more successful products like Pandora's Box, however in this book you could already see the beginnings of the majority of Vin DiCarlo's theories.
How to Think Right
There are many ways to meet women, and very different approaches can actually work. Therefore, it's not so much what you DO that matters, but rather how you THINK. This book is about teaching you how to think right.
The author, Vin DiCarlo, was one of the first to talk about “Natural Game” a few years ago. One of his beliefs is that pick up is easy – just like a “natural” once told him. The less your mind is filled with details and instructions, the more spontaneous and charming you become – this is the basic concept of Natural Game (very different from the structured strategies of Mystery's Revelation or Love Systems' Magic Bullets, for example).
Well Presented and Thought Out
The ebook is well presented, with excellent graphics, classy pictures, etc – very professionally put together. Between every chapter, you get a few pages of “journal” from an imaginary student applying what you have just learned. You hear his thought processes, mistakes, and progress. While this may sound gimmicky, it is actually well written and useful for readers to relate to.
It Should Happen Naturally
The first two chapters explain social and evolutionary psychology theories, and how those relate to Natural Game. From the research, DiCarlo concludes that attraction is a game of displaying cues of dominance. Displaying these cues should not be done through tricks and techniques but through higher level processes. That way you don't have to think how to pass tests that women give you, it just happens naturally thanks to the way you perceive yourself on the inside.
Relying too much on techniques and lines, says DiCarlo, can stop you from internalizing the core attitudes of an attractive man.
The experience of a dominant man is different from the experiences of others, not just externally in terms of projection of confidence, but also internally, as an emotional experience. In fact, it is what happens internally that makes the outward confidence possible. It is hard to fake that dominance or high status if you don’t have your internal emotions in control.
DiCarlo asks you to reflect for a second on the nature of your thoughts. You can’t control what other people think – that’s a losing battle. But you can control how YOU think. You need to THINK like a natural to become a natural.
These 2 chapters are great. You will be familiar with some/ most of the research if you have studied attraction for a while, but it is well summarized here, and most importantly it is put into new perspectives and linked to Natural Game. It certainly makes a very convincing case for “going natural” and working on mindset and thought processes instead of memorizing techniques.
The one (small) bit I had to disagree with was this quote: “For a woman to feel attraction for a particular man, it’s absolutely essential that he have a higher perceived status than she does.” … which is wrong and simplistic in my experience. But that’s just a small gripe.
The third chapter focuses on female psychology. From the very start DiCarlo says something I’ve thought for years but never saw mentioned before: the idea that women are "more emotional than men" and “make no sense “is rubbish. Women make just as much sense as men do, if you can understand their perspective.
DiCarlo goes on to explain how women think – and it directly relates to the previous chapter. Women care less about what you say than about what you do, and that is rooted in your character, which itself is dependent on how you think. Again, we go back to the idea of getting your thoughts straightened out.
One problem with the standard “techniques” and memorizing openers, DiCarlo says, is that it makes you see women as robots, concepts, or opponents. This is bad because then a genuine connection is difficult. You need to see women, and enjoy them, as individuals. Women are your team mates, in that they want what you want (great fun, a great mate, great sex, etc). Again, excellent advice that goes against a lot of the usual clichés you hear from dating coaches from the “pick up artist community”.
“Stop trying to control women. Instead, understand them, pay attention, and control yourself.”
The chapter elaborates on compliance, frames, and the different types of tests women give you. All good stuff.
The Attraction Code
The last chapter details the “attraction code” itself. This is the most abstract and theoretical part of the book, and I was yawning a bit at times.
It’s not that the content is bad, but it is made overcomplicated and goes in to a lot of different directions - without much transition to link everything up. There is a lot of new jargon (State Frictions? Intention-Violation?) and sub-divisions and listing going on. You go from the 4 Elements of Personality (4EP) to the 11 Laws of an Attractive Identity to the 3 State Frictions to the 3 Shaping techniques, with some stuff in between. Although each individual piece is valuable, it feels a bit thrown together in a hurry.
What stood out most in this chapter was the “Quick And Dirty Guide to Manufacturing Confidence” and the “Instruction Manual to Your Mind”. This ties back to the previous chapters – after explaining that WHAT you think is key, he gives you the tools to change HOW you think. Here you learn to be in the moment, improve your focus and keep your thoughts strongly streamlined in a positive, seductive direction.
The Bottom Line - An Excellent “Inner Game/ Confidence” Book
The advertising says this is not an inner game and confidence product, and I have no idea why, since that’s essentially what it is - it is a “mindset” book. And there is nothing wrong with that, especially since it explains not only inner game and confidence but how to actually get it, and does so in an engaging, simple way.
While the content is great, the obvious limitation is the near total absence of techniques. This is a broad roadmap. A beginner finishing this book will most likely say “oh WOW, I learned A LOT” but his next thought may also be “Hmm ok, so what do I do now?”. This is somewhat compensated by some of the bonus ebooks you receive with your purchase, and hey, you can’t get it all.
The Attraction Code is not for advanced guys, but it will be very beneficial for beginners to intermediates. It simplifies the game of dating considerably, and the content is both of quality and (mostly) easy to understand and accept.
If you don’t want to pretend to be something you are not, this introduction to Natural Game is well worth checking out.
My Very First Thoughts about Attraction 16
There’s Always the Dating Lottery 17
The Early Frustrations I Faced as a Pick-Up Artist in Training 18
My First Encounter with a Super-Natural 19
Throwing My Routine “Cheat Sheet” Out The Window 21
If You Really Want This, There Is One Thing You MUST Do 22
How to Read This Book 24
How Much Casanova is in YOUR Blood? 28
Chapter 1: Social Status, Dominance and attraction 29
The Diference between What Attracts Men And What Attracts Women 29
Attraction Code Clue #1: Secret Traits 31
What is Status? 31
Attraction Code Clue #2: Dominance and Status 33
Patrick’s Story 1: Being Average ain’t so Bad Or is it? 34
A Brief History of Dominance 39
Attraction Code Clue #3: Leadership Abilities 40
What Does this Have to Do with Sex? 40
A Tale of Two Gentlemen 41
Attraction Code Clue #4: A Tinking Man’s Game 43
A Glitch in the Matrix 43
Patrick’s Story 2: Eyes Wide Open 45
Chapter 2: Origins of the Attraction Code 50
Is Your Mental Software Obsolete? 50
Attraction Code Clue #5: Technology is Winning the Race 54
Tonight on the Discovery Channel… 54
Attraction Code Clue #6: Sex Diferences 56
The Origin of Social Behavior 56
The Amazing Efects of Mega Memory 57
Attraction Code Clue #7: Mind Your Toughts 58
Patrick’s Story 3: “What’s He Got that I Don’t?” 59
The New Alpha: Take Me to Your Leader 62
Attraction Code Clue #8: The Nature of Focus 64
Act Civilized 64
Attraction Code Clue #9: The Consequences of Sex 66
Putting the Fear of God in You 66
Efects of Society on Modern Women 67
Patrick’s Story #4: “Why Won’t She Answer the Phone?” 68
Chapter 3: Female psychology, how to View Women, and Why The attraction Code Works 78
Women Don’t Make Sense… Or Do Tey? 78
What I Learned About Women in Physics 101 79
A Robot With Boobs 82
One Team, One Dream 83
Patrick’s Story #5: The Hump 85
How Women See Men 95
Attraction Code Clue #10: An Emotional Response 96
Is it True What Tey Say About People Who Read Tis Book? 96
Freudian Slip 98
She Can’t Get No… Satisfaction 98
How to Measure a Woman’s Attraction to You 100
A Blueprint of a Woman’s Behavior 102
Attraction Code Clue #11: The Final Test 104
Patrick’s Story 6: Social Intelligence 105
Relax It’s Only a Test 112
Women’s Tests Disarmed 1: Receptivity Tests 113
Women’s Tests Disarmed 2: Windows of Opportunity 115
Women’s Tests Disarmed 3: Challenge Testing 116
When in Doubt, Shrug 118
Patrick’s Story 7: It’s a Physical Game 119
Understanding the Attraction Spike 127
“Flip the Script” 130
Backwards Rationalization and Cognitive Dissonance 134
Patrick’s Story 8: The Brick Wall 135
How to Manage Sexual Tension 139
How Fast Should You Escalate to Sex? 140
The Five Potential Dangers of Fast Escalation and How to Deal with Tem 141
Patrick’s Story 9: Unsolved 147
The Code Awaits 152
Chapter 4: The attraction Code 154
The 4EP Model of Personal Expression 154
The Attraction Code Defned 158
The Dangers of Becoming an “Inner Game Junkie” 159
Patrick’s Story 10: Oh Yeah… Logistics 160
How to Develop Powerful Intention and an Attractive Core Identity166
The Eleven Immutable Laws of an Attractive Identity 167
The End of Natural Game? 177
The Quick and Dirty Guide to Manufacturing Confdence 180
Patrick’s Story 11: Sex is about Us 181
Focus I’m about to Hand You the Instruction Manual for Your Mind 193
Is Your Attention A Leaky Faucet? 194
A Proof Tey Don’t Teach in Math Class 197
The Mind is Like a Vacuum And Yes… Tat’s a Good Ting 197
Yoga for the Pick-up Artist 200
How to Use ‘Shaping’ to Infuence a Woman’s Behavior 203
Tree Bullet-Proof Methods of Shaping or, Obedience School for Women 206
The Diference between Shaping Relationships by Accident and On Purpose 211
“Flip the Script Part II” 213
The Secret Mindset for Accelerating Physical Intimacy 216
How to Attract a Woman You Are Already Friends With 218
Developing an Invincible State 221
Patrick’s Story 12: Broken Promises 222
The Three Frictions 229
Friction #1: Attention Fixation 229
Friction #2: Social Pressure 232
Friction #3: Intention-Violation 234
Behind the Scenes of DiClassifed Drills and The FSE Feedback System 237
The Highest Level of State Control 243
The Little-Known Connection between Pick-Up and Heavy Metal244
Transparency and Freedom of Expression 247
The End Result of Internalizing the Attraction Code 248
Patrick’s Story 13: Liberation 250
Resources for Further Study 253
Appendix 1: The Hard-Core Science Behind Attraction 255
Appendix 2: Relationship of I-LoC to Dominance 260
Terms and Conditions 262
What You Get:
The Attraction Code Ebook
Bonus : No Flakes! Ebook
Bonus : DiCarlo Escalation Ladder, 2nd Ed Ebook
Bonus : Secrets of Sexual Tension Ebook
Bonus : Objection Game Ebook
Bonus : A FREE Chapter of "Get Your Girl Back" Ebook
Bonus : One Month Bonus Membership to Vin's Mastermind
Bonus : Skills Assessment w/ DiClassified Trainer
Guarantee / Terms:
Test-drive the attraction code for 10 Days. If not Satisfied with the product with in 10 days nothing will be charged.
User Reviews for The Attraction Code
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Most Helpful User Reviews
9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
"Amazing product...and I'm NEVER enthusiastic about products"
If you keep on wondering how the hell do u study pickup, if you keep studying and studying, this book will teach you to calm down. Game is a mental game. If things aren't going well in your outer life, its because things are not going well in your inner life.
This book teaches you how to shift your attention. Instead of seeing a hot girl and feeling anxiety since she is hot, this book will teach you to change your focus and say "Wow, she MAY be interesting, let's go find out".
There are no techniques in here for the stages of a "proper" pickup. But remember, no girl is the same.
I have read this and found it very useful. It has great ideas and concepts for having the right mind-set and beliefs for approaching and dating women.
It is not so much technique based but about guiding your intention, focus, state and expression; and how these elements are linked to each other. The format is great for learning as well. It definitely sets the correct frame.
Great content. Very real observations about the pickup mindset. Innovative inner game ideas that haven't been touched upon. You'll definitely learn something new about your mental process during a pickup. Entertaining format.
Idea can be rather vague at times. Not for beginners as they will not understand if they don't have enough pickup/relationship experience under their belt.
If you are just looking for techniques, this is not the book for you. But if you want to carry a solid mindset while you pickup this book will have a wealth of information. The interesting thing about this book is that it really has multiple levels and the information I can glean from it is vastly different from the first time I read it. Having infield experience is extremely important to understand this book.
Like reading a shorter less crazy/ light version of Revelation. Cheerleading enough to let you know - you can do this. Alot of pick up it not screwing yourself up. Keep the right thoughts in your head and things will go while. Cut out negativity in your thoughts and things will go at least pleasntly with women. That's what this book helps to teach you.
"A book that helps you to put your game on auto-pilot"
Here we have a book that is a big departure from what other guys in the community come up with. A love the concept of seeing women as your teammates and not as some adversaries that you have to manipulate into getting what you what. They also what what you want. A lot of beginners might not really like it because it does not focus on techniques and strategies but more on the evolutionary psychology. It really might not even make sense to a lot of beginners but i can assure you when you have spent a while in the game and you have more understanding about it, when you come back to pick up this book, you would find out that the book makes perfect sense. That's what happened to me.
Yeah and by the way ... I disagree with the reservations the above editor made in his review about the quote " For a woman to feel attraction for a particular man, it’s absolutely essential that he have a higher perceived status than she does" I think if you really sit down and analyise exactly what he is saying there it would make perfect sense to you. Every single effective technique out there about how to attract women is based on this simple yet true principle. Please Editor I really would like to hear more about you really disagree about the quote because I just might learn a thing or two from it.
I found this product by a citation from another Vin DiCarlo product called "Pandora's box". This product helped me to remove some harmful effects of that book, so I don't get it why would he created such a product :S Anyways, it is a nice book, I am on my second reading and everytime it gives me some new inner sights about dating and personalities.
However, inner game is a such a complex world to conquer, maybe this product would be more comprehensive about how to deal with inner stuff. I don't know really, maybe its because of my personality, it does not show direct ways to deal with those bad programs in you but he says its a natural game. So I can't blame him for being not comprehensive :P
Overall, it is a great starter book, yet I would like to get some more directions from him. Sometimes I feel like I am lost in a jungle :)
The Attraction Code is SERIOUS stuff my friends. DiCarlo's background in science has definitely allowed him to go deep and analytical into the psychology of the female mind on LOTS of levels. As someone who already knows a lot about this stuff I found DiCarlo's book truly original and thoroughly well researched. It contains of TON of paradigm shifting principles which may be hard to deal with at first, but you WILL know from reading that it is the real-deal. I can't emphasize it enough that this is something that ALL men should read REGARDLESS of whether they are PUAs or AFCs. It will help you on LOTS of levels.
The product puts a bit of a twist on the game I think. It basically says that you don't need openers and canned material, but what you need is a mindset change to be dominant.
The process of developing the right mindset is a little confusing, and I get the feeling that the author doesn't really know how to put his information together himself. THe guy is obviously good with women, and he runs his own boot camps and has in own instructors. He knows what he's doing, he teaches well- according to his testimonials, but his ebook is confusing.
What I did learn from this book was that you need Intention, Focus, and State to be in balance with eachother. He says that you need to have Intention to have Focus, and have Focus ot have proper state, but I think they need to be properly balanced for his ideas to work.
Anyways, I probably just confused you all, lol, but my recap is this book doesn't clearly display the ideas of teh author. If you read it though, you can develop some of your own ideas. In short terms his book says to have confidence. Just stick with general pickup my friends, and don't waste your money on this book like I did.