The Good: This is a great course for guys who are struggling with extreme anxiety when it comes to approaching women. Easy to implement, it focuses on incremental improvement and gradually desensetizing you to the idea of talking to women in everyday situations. Contains audio recording of the author approaching women in live situations.
The Bad: This is really only for absolute beginners; if you're able to approach women already you will get little value from this course. Doesn't cover the topic of flirting or attracting women. Listening to the same conversational openers again and again gets a bit monotonous.
The Bottom Line:If you have real trouble approahing women, this is definitely worth checking out. It's designed to slowly get you over your fear of talking to women, and provides realistic exercises that you can practice that will help you get over your anxiety. If you follow the advice here you will feel more comfortable about approaching women, but in terms of getting any success beyond just approaching, the advice here is quite limited.
Eric Disco is a guy who used to suffer from extreme social anxiety and was unable to talk to women he didn't know. She's Six Steps Away is his account of how he learned to deal with his anxiety and, impressively, how he taught many other guys to do the same.
When it comes to approaching women, many guys feel somewhat anxious at the thought of talking to a woman they don't know. But for some guys, this level of anxiety is so extreme that it prevents them from ever taking any action whatsoever. This is who the book is designed to help.
Rather than just telling you to go out right away and start trying to have conversations with women, Eric lays out a plan to slowly desensitize yourself to the negative feelings you experience at the prospect of approaching women. So you might first start out by putting yourself in the same vicinity as attractive women, just being near them but not trying to talk to them. This removes any pressure while at the same time gets your body accustomed to moving towards an attractive woman when you see one.
From there you gradually take more and more action over time as your confidence increases and your anxiety decreases. Done this way, even the shyest person should be able to work up to starting a conversation with a stranger.
What Happens After The Approach?
There's a lot of emphasis in the book on having short, innocuous conversations with women. For the purpose of getting past your approach anxiety, this will be quite effective. But when it comes to getting results with women such as phone numbers and dates, it's not quite as solid. Once you use the steps here to overcome your approach anxiety, you'll likely need to find some other information that will focus more on what to do next, specifically in the area of attracting women.
The subject of rapport is covered here in great detail, with some great advice on how to form connections with women. The problem I see many guys facing if they use all of the advice here is coming across like too much of a 'nice guy'.
Some of the openers are quite weak and indecisive, and more or less put you on the back foot right away. If you follow this up by moving straight into rapport and forming a connection, there is only a slim chance of the woman being interested in you in a romantic or sexual sense. Instead, there really needs to be some flirting and challenging going on, to create some sexual tension. This is something that is lacking completely in this book. So the advice is great up to getting you to approach and take action, but after that becomes less effective.
The last section of the book covers the area of approaching women directly. This is something that most guys will have to gradually work up to, but IMO is the most effective approaching strategy out of all those described here. Eric himself says that he often feels better when approaching directly and many of his best clients feel the same way.
Live Audio Recordings
The book comes with bonus audio recordings, which are of Eric approaching women in various situations. They're divided up into segments to correlate with each of the individual six steps that you learn about in the book.
The audio quality is very good, which is a plus. It's great to be able to hear the steps put into action, and to see how simple it can be to approach a woman you don't know. Most of the openers are quite functional, meaning the only purpose they hold is to begin a conversation. In terms of wanting to actually pick women up, I wouldn't recommend most of these openers. It also gets a bit tedious hearing the same few openers used repeatedly.
There are times in the interactions where Eric's reliance on scripted material, or 'routines', really stops him from moving forward. You'll hear through the audios that he has a few select stories that he likes to say again and again. Which can be fine for when you are starting out and you can't think of what to say next, but many times here it has a detrimental effect. Like the woman he is speaking to offers something up in the conversation, and instead of riffing off of that he goes to the default routine that feels out of place or forced. So be aware of relying too much on scripted material, and try and steer away from that as soon as you can.
From my point of view the interactions that seemed the best were the ones where he opened the woman directly. That set the right frame from the start and made it less awkward for continuing the conversation. However there were some solid interactions that arose from what might be considered boring openers, which goes to show that some girls are just going to be into you no matter what you do, and it's better to say anything than nothing.
There are also some bonus interviews that make up this course. They feature Eric talking to various dating and seduction teachers about a number of subjects that directly relate to the six steps. Some of the interviews are better than others, but it's a nice bonus.
Overall I'd recommend this to guys who are stuck at the stage of approaching women. If you have any experience beyond that level, this isn't really for you.
The Bottom Line
If you have real trouble approaching women, this is definitely worth checking out. It's designed to slowly get you over your fear of talking to women, and provides realistic exercises that you can practice that will help you get over your anxiety. If you follow the advice here you will feel more comfortable about approaching women, but in terms of getting any success beyond just approaching, the advice here is quite limited.
Table of Contents/ List of Topics Covered:
- How to get past the fear of rejection and meet that woman, even if you have never been able to approach a single woman before.
- The secrets to go from 'hello' to meaningful conversations with women fast.
- A focused plan of action that's easy to implement (and will keep you motivated for the long term)
- The most effective way to get past inhibition and talk to women without depending on the approval and acceptance of women
- How to tap into who you are as a person to become authentically more attractive to women
- Conversational strategies proven to work anywhere in the world, no matter how attractive she is
- The universal do's and don'ts of body language so you don't creep her out and come on too strong
- Tactical exercises to keep the momentum going in conversations while being genuine and sincere
- The exact words to say at every step of the way (and it won't be cheesy or manipulative)
- How to not care so much about what happens in every single interaction
- What to do when you do feel rejected or embarrassed
"An absolute must read for anyone looking to meet new people! "
I read this book last night and I think it is an absolute master-piece! In fact, I’d honeslty go as far saying it is the best book on dating/seduction that I have ever read.
I spent 4 years in the seduction community and during that period, I read most of the books/e-books in the field of seduction. I have attended numerous seminars and I have met and worked with lots of seduction experts. Most important of all, though, I spent hours every week on the streets, in coffee shops, in supermarkets etc approaching and starting conversations with women. So I know a lot about the challenges and obstacles that guys face in this mission.
This book is so good because it breaks down the whole process from absolute beginner to a guy who is comfortable meeting and talking to strangers, and it does it in easy to follow, step-by-step instructions.
At each stage of the process, it describes exactly what the guy needs do, and how to do it. Eric has also explained why the step is necessary. Best of all, he gives real-life examples of interactions. If that wasn’t enough, he even gives material in the form of suggested questions and statements so the guy doesn’t even need to think up what to say! Genius!! No guy who has this book has any excuse to fail!
When I read this book, it showed me what I had been doing wrong when I was approaching women, and how I could have improved my results. I think if I had read this book 5 years ago, I would have had a lot more success than I did have.
The structure of the book is also really good. Eric tackles each issue (e.g., approach anxiety, direct game etc) at the exact right time.
All in all though, I think Eric has written an amazing book. There will be many people in the future who owe their lives (literally) to Eric, because his book will have given their dad the encouragement and skills to be able to approach their mum and get a date!!!
This system works. My only complaint is that it's almost too easy. It requires fairly little intensity of effort, but it does require a little bit of effort spread over a long period of time. The reason for this is that Disco wants you to form life-long habits that stick. You can't solve this with "book-learning"... it requires repetition. It's like training for muscle memory; you know how athletes train so that they can react and respond during the game without thinking? That's pretty much what this program seeks to do; to train you to move your feet and interact when you FEEL attraction, without thinking.
The thing that stops you from approaching is your emotions... it's not that you don't know how, it's the feeling that stops you. It's called inhibition, and Disco takes you through a bunch of baby-steps that allows you to gradually acclimate yourself to that emotion so that it eventually becomes manageable. This was a breakthrough for me; I seem to have been born with (or maybe taught ... maybe both) a high level of inhibition. For instance, I used to be really scared of heights but after doing a lot of hikes and exposing myself to that emotion little by little without freaking myself out, I'm able to do some really awesome hikes. Where there used to be fear there is now excitement and exhilaration. This program is similar. It starts with fairly easy exercises which give you small doses of that inhibition/fear on a daily basis. By following the program you keep the fear within a tolerable zone while moving towards being a guy who simply interacts with anyone he finds attractive.
The thing I love about this program is that it allows you to be yourself! It doesn't ask you to dress a certain way, or say certain things... it simply has one purpose, and that is to enable you to get over your fear and hesitation/inhibition. It actually helps you align your actions with your thoughts and emotions (you feel attraction you go towards the thing which is attracting you... makes sense, yeah?) Ghandi said "happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." If that's true then sadness/suffering must be when what you think, say and do are out of sync... and isn't that what approach anxiety is? You are attracted to something but you don't act on it? It's a terrible feeling and there's no excuse for subjecting yourself to that suffering when there are ways to alleviate it. This may seem like an overly glowy review, but whatever, I really do think this is a brilliant system. Approach anxiety (inhibition) has been such a huge monkey on my back for so long, and by following this system my life is changing. It's like having a big stupid tumor removed. Just make sure you are willing to devote about an hour or so a day to it, and make sure you have a place to go where there are attractive women every day.
"Great product for guys who can't start conversations with women from someone who isn't a natural."
It’s refreshing to read a dating book from someone who’s gone through social anxiety like I have and know how terrifying it can be to approach women you don’t know before. Eric Disco breaks down the process of approaching women into manageable steps instead of saying just follow the three second rule and you’ll be okay. I also like how the openers from the book are similar to normal everyday conversations you have with people all the time and don’t feel awkward to say. This book has a lot of applicable information you can use and clear directions about how to implement what you read into real life.
I think Disco really tackled this issue head on and provided a great resource for guys who can’t even do one approach and aren’t having any luck with the more advanced dating products out there. Finally, I think the audio interactions and interviews included with the book are excellent bonuses and well worth the price.
A review in the form of an email I sent to Eric upon completing the book:
Hope you're good and everything is going well with the release of your book. I just finished it... it's really something to be proud of!
My comments should be filtered by the acknowledgement that I haven't tried to put your system into action. I really want to. I tell myself that I will... but I'm still making excuses. I feel close though.
I think you've created something brilliantly designed for a certain type of personality -- and I feel that's why I respond so well to it. It's almost impossible to describe to a 'natural' what it feels like to be shy or inhibited around women. To them it sounds stupid. See girl --> get girl. Over time you come to feel stupid for it... asking yourself how you ended up this way. Who's fault is it? You grow bitter and resentful of women. It's a painful cycle that just feeds itself until you decide to do something about it.
I highlighted tons of lines that resonated with me. I outlined a good amount of things that seemed right out of my own head... including some things I don't think I'd ever formed into full thoughts. (I did this in the PDF so let me know if you want to see it)
The biggest insight for me was the notion of your body acting on its own behalf -- and generally contrary to what you really want. I know very well what this feels like -- locking up in front of a beautiful woman who shows you just the slightest bit of attention. The idea that I might be able to 'train' my body to overcome this, through gradual conditioning, is revolutionary (for me).
I also really like that your whole system can exist independent of all the misogyny present in the community. I read blogs like Roosh's, VK... and while there's clearly a lot of wisdom there, I can't see how all that hatred is realistic in the long run. You never make the woman out to be an object... instead allowing them to be the real, complex, human beings that they are.
But I think the most important line of the whole book is this one (as you noted):
Shifting your thinking from constantly evaluating what you did wrong to what you did right is one of the most important aspects of improving socially. p.161
I could go on and on, but I feel like that may not be the best kind of feedback. I wish I could say I'd gone through the steps. The thought of step 3 gives me the spooks, but 1 and 2 seem manageable. I'm very excited to try it out... and I'm sure each chapter will display its true value as I progress through it.
It's tough -- you just want someone to come and solve all your problems for you but deep down you know that you have to do it yourself. Of all the books, blogs, and videos I've seen, your book comes the closest to bridging that gap.