Angel: Today we are talking to BlueMystery and RedpoleQ, both dating and attraction coaches at the company PickUp Asia, which is based in Japan and teaches around Asia-Pacific. We are going to go over a bit of their backgrounds and what they’ve been up to over the years.
So first of all, I just want to find out a bit about your dating life before you started to read about dating advice. How was it and what got you to start looking into dating advice?
RedpoleQ: For me personally, before I learned Game I was able to get girlfriends here and there, and a lot of them were quite good girls. They were nice people, they had a lot going for them in terms of their personality. They had some amazing jobs, amazing careers, at least one of them certainly did.
But they were really just the kind of women that you would want to be in relationships with, and the reality is that I also wanted to know that I could get high status women too. The kind of women that guys would look at and go "Wow! That girl is incredible" just by looking at her and not just those that they get to know and they are like "Ooh! She is cool".
So a large focus for me was being able to get the kind of women that I couldn’t get before - just women in a club or it could be even in a day time setting, really beautiful women you see walking down the street or in a café or something like that.
To be able to go on a trip somewhere and be able to meet a woman just for a short time to have a fling. I had never had summer flings, for example, before I started learning about pick–up and dating. So for me it was really about expanding my range of options, getting more life experiences. It’s having more fun adventures. And that’s really what I got out of it.
BlueMystery: For me, I never even had a dating life before I got advice on improving my dating skills or becoming a better date. It wasn’t untilI started finding information on what steps to take that I actually started doing it.
I was like most guys: I was clueless, I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that I had to get this part of my life taken care of. And once I started reading up on dating advice and attending seminars and learning from other people who were better than me, that’s when I really started to improve. Then I knew I was getting the kind of women that I had worked hard for and that I deserved.
Angel: So you are both talking about typical scenarios here. A lot of guys start reading up about dating advice exactly for these reasons. When did you find out about some of the revolutionary dating advice out there? Was it one day that you saw something, somewhere written about attraction or did you search it out for yourselves?
RedpoleQ: I grew up in a Junior High School boys Catholic School with nuns and everything, and because we didn’t have a sister school, we didn’t have very many opportunities to interact with women. And I noticed quite early on that those guys who spent less time around girls were getting less success than those who had some outside exposure to women.
So it quickly became apparent to me that experience was one key factor in being able to do well with women.
I also knew I needed to get around guys who were meeting women, guys with female friends, so that I could have access to that, to those experiences more so than I would have on my own. So throughout my life I always tried to spend time with guys who were a lot better with women than I was.
When I came to University, when I was in college there wasn’t really a pick-up /seduction community. I mean this was 1996 to 2000 that I was in school, in university. So their wasn’t an ability to go online and search and find really good information, I had no books that you could read to learn. I got some books, bought a novel or two. But there really wasn’t information that you could say was really solid. There wasn’t anyone who would or could show you how it’s done. And so I really just had to go out and watch guys, just getting to know what they were doing, ask questions and try my best to emulate them.
That was pretty much my situation until about 2006 when one of my friends saw an article from David DeAngelo and he forwarded it to me. I joined the mailing list and I started reading it applying what David DeAngelo taught and started making an improvement.
Not only was I able to date women but they would continue to come back for months at a time. They would stay for three, four, five months and I would continue to see them.
So that was solved when I read David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating eBook and another one of the guys from our group was one of the first ones to read “The Game” and introduced that book to the rest of us. So we started applying that and we all started reading a lot more of these things and incorporating and testing it out in Japan because things are quite a bit different in Asia.
We started to see what works and what doesn’t, and modifying it, because we had a group of about 5 or 6 guys going out regularly doing this. We were able to build up a great base of experience quite quickly. And that’s really how my development went. My early development when it comes to the community and Game started at that point. As I said for me it was just the factor of the information being a lot better than anything else we had. And that’s what really propelled us and allowed us to improve our skills.
Angel: Right, and David DeAngelo is responsible for a lot of people getting started into this stuff, because his ebook is very easy to understand and apply, even for total beginners. So that’s a very typical start point. BlueMystery did you get into it the same way?
BlueMystery: For me, it was actually rather different, I had found out about the seduction community back in 2001 when it was very underground and it was really for those who were desperately looking for something.
I was at that point of my life, I was in my senior year in high school, I had never had a date. It was really – for me it was a desperate hour. I really started looking online and found a website at that time calledpickupguide.com and I liked it, it was exactly what I needed. Not only did it give me approaches to solve the problem, but also tools I could use to help change my situation that I felt was really great.
But I really started getting better when I was finding people a bit better than me and learning from them. This wasn’t until 2004 which was really long time but when I came to Asia it was just a different ball game. So I had to I had to get a mentor in Asia who could also help me succeed here in Asia.
Angel: That’s interesting because I also just happened to cross pickupguide.com one day and that’s kind of where I started from too. So I guess pickupguide.com was responsible for a lot of guys learning as well, at least a few years ago.
BlueMystery: Yeah, it makes me think of that Robert Kennedy quote about only those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly. That’s just something that you don’t really learn at school.
Angel: Exactly yeah, great point. Okay so guys are there any particular dating advice products or is there any particular instructors that you found extremely useful or which really helped you?
RedpoleQ: For me what helped the most was reading Tyler Durden (Owen Cook)’s archive. I don’t think this is really one of the most popular things out there but when I read those articles I already had quite a lot of experience. As I said even before I knew about the community I was already going out very regularly (at least twice a week and often three or even about four times or more). So when I read Tyler Durden’s archive, it gave me not only another way to look at the Mystery M3 Model, but it also talked a lot about micro-calibration. I needed that.
It talks about little things and little differences that happen in conversations and it explained a lot of what I was seeing when I was going out that didn’t make a lot of sense to me. And I’d go like ‘yeah I have seen that!,yeah I have experienced that! and I was trying to figure out what that was about!’ and so that really was a huge help to tweaking my game in small ways. You know the kind of small ways that have a large impact over time!
Angel: Right. The things you read that bring absolute clarity to stuff that you’ve probably seen over ten years but you didn’t really realize what it meant. When all of a sudden you see an explanation that really can make a big difference for you, right?
RedpoleQ: Absolutely.
BlueMystery: First - it was a book that really helped me: Without Embarrassment by Michael Pilinski from High Status Male. It was a very good book for me because it was very basic and talked about what’s important to get to the turning point at being really good with women. Really helped me.
I also liked David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating eBook. Of course you can’t only read stuff and get that good simply because you also have to make the connection between what you are seeing and what the books say. A big issue is that people read too much and think too much about something that makes it complicated for them, but in reality when it is applied, it is simple. So that’s important actually.
That’s why I recommend seeking out people who are good and who have relationships and who are getting the results you want. Then you can see what they do and how they do it and they can help you do it.
Angel: Great points there. Now, once you’ve learned a bit about dating and women, your ideal dating lifestyle can actually change. What you actually want in your life tends to evolve as you learn more. Can you tell what your ideal lifestyle is today?
RedpoleQ: I definitely have changed especially recently, but not so much because I have moved on in terms of what I want or I suddenly had different desires in terms of my relationship. It was more because my lifestyle has changed. And because my lifestyle changed so did my requirements for relationshipsl.
When I first started learning I was primarily doing traditional dating and having multiple long term relationships, that’s dating more than one woman simultaneously. I was quite happy with that. I sometimes dated women just because they were really great and it would just work out really well.
Things really changed recently when I joined PickUp Asia and my life started being more transitory. I travel a lot. I travel to three or more cities every week. Because of that I definitely had to change my style of dating because I had to move the attraction a lot faster as I could be leaving in two or in three days. So that made a huge impact on my dating lifestyle recently and for now that works for me.
BlueMystery: I went through a period of hard work on this part of my life. When I hit this phase, I was having to juggle my career and women. It was a lot of work, because for me it meant having 3 girlfriends at a time. So girls were taking up a lot more of my time.
Now, because I’m the leader of the Korea Lair I have also had to not only go out to meet women for my own sake but also to guide others so that they can have the relationships they want. Ever since I got into pick-up more professionally and taking it more seriously, I’ve noticed that my personal time for myself has been shrinking because of my greater obligations in life.
Also because I’m living in a foreign country, and I may move again soon I do not want to be in a serious relationship right now and actually I’m shifting towards just having a good time with women whether it be going out and dancing or eating etc. So it’s nothing too serious right now, but I know that eventually I will want a serious girlfriend again.
RedpoleQ: I want to add that before a lot of my decision making would revolve around my relationship situation, but now because I know that I can go out anywhere and meet women anywhere I have a lot more focus on my work and other things in life. That is a big bonus to me.
Angel: That is certainly a great part of improving your dating skills, it actually helps you to improve other parts of your life as a side effect.
RedpoleQ: A lot of guys make decisions about their life coming from a position of weakness, thinking that they may not be able to find another woman. So this is life-changing. Because I don’t have this problem, I am able to make more choices about what I want to do with my life . I’m not afraid of losing this girl so I’m going to do what I’m going to do and if she is willing to make changes in her life to stay on the program, cool. And if she is not, that’s cool too, there will be others.
Angel: What is the best dating experience you’ve had to date since you learned about attraction skills?
RedpoleQ: For me, it was a woman I dated for about two and half years and I had some of the best memories.
And this was a woman I never would have seduced if it hadn’t been for Game. When I first met her she really had almost no interest in me and it was through using what I knew about the Game and Mystery’s M3 model and various skills that I had built up over time that allowed me to make it happen.
If it hadn’t been for the experience that I had developed previously with other women, if it wasn’t for the knowledge that I had, I would have missed that big opportunity. That was probably my best experience. Although another thing is being able to meet women in other countries. That’s been great because before when I used to travel I would get nervous but now when I travel I’m really excited because I’ll be able to meet some new and interesting women.
BlueMystery: One of my best and favorite was probably the second girl I dated. I met her at a real estate class. She was gorgeous, an ex-pro-tennis player, she did some modeling, beautiful girl from Czech Republic. Yes, it was like you would walk by and she was just so gorgeous, it was like sunshine and in your mind you are like "I can’t possibly even think about starting anything with this girl".
In spite of having that thought in my mind, I still went up to her and started a conversation, and granted I was extremely nervous but I didn’t show it and ultimately it went really well. It was so special, because I wasn’t that experienced. I didn’t have any experience maintaining relationships and after all that’s probably one of my best. I remember we were lying on a couch one day and I realized it was just one of those great moments. Felt like I could lie there completely satisfied with life with her next to me.
Angel: I can relate to that too. I think what a lot of guys get once they are using this dating advice, they get that first experience with a girl they didn’t think they would ever have a chance with before. And that’s extremely memorable for everyone. Everyone is going to remember that first time that you completely exceeded your expectations of what you would ever have.
So guys, I know Pick Up Asia is busy doing things in and around Asia. Have you got any recent goings on or upcoming events from your company that you can tell our users about?
RedpoleQ: Yes we have some bootcamps coming up in Tokyo and Seoul next month and we also do bootcamps in Hong Kong and Shanghai. So they are really based around what kind of response we get. BlueMystery will be in Shanghai next week and I'll maybe come as well to do a free mini-seminar.
Then on the 23rd and July 23rdand then on July 30th I’ll be in Tokyo to do a free mini-seminar. And there is one in Seoul on August 6th as well with a bootcamp following both the Tokyo and the Seoul mini-seminar. We have a schedule which is updated quite regularly with different and new activities. So really that’s the best way to know what we are up to.
BlueMystery: We’ll also be in Australia in October.
RedpoleQ: Yes, we’ve been invited to speak at a conference there so we’ll be sending out information about that. It’s called the Attraction Master Class, so we’ll be speaking at that in the end of November and beginning of December.
Angel: Great, nice to see you guys are really busy and you are getting to travel a lot as well
BlueMystery: Yes it's one of the things I really enjoy about this.
Angel: Awesome, so thank you very much for joining the call today it’s been great to hear about your experiences. This will be very helpful for our users. And yes there is more information on the site about PickUp Asia, including all the PickUp Asia products and bootcamp services.
Thanks guys, we look forward to talking to you soon again.
BlueMystery:Thank you Angel, it’s been fun.
Related Information: Complete list of PickUp Asia products with product information, rankings and editor and user reviews.