Interview with Mack Tactics' Dean Cortez   

In this interview, Dean explains how he first learned about The Game (dating skills) from a hostage negotiator, the bigger picture that having dating skills gives you in life and some of his wildest escapades since learning to date women successfully.

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Angel: Today we have Dean from Mack Tactics with us,we are going to talk about his background and what he learned in the dating field. Hi Dean!

Dean: Hey Angel, good to be here.

Angel: So let's go back to before you started learning anything about dating - what was your lifestyle like? 

Dean: Oh my, I shudder when I consider these memories - those dark days in my dating life.

You know, I talk a lot about scarcity versus abundance. A guy can either have a scarcity mentality or an abundance mentality. And the attitude I had back in those days is one that scares me.

And a lot of guys fall under this category, where you are putting all your eggs in one basket. Where you meet a girl and you lust after her and you want to do whatever it takes to date her and make her your girlfriend and that’s the only girl in the world as far as you are concerned and when things don’t work out, if she doesn’t feel the same way about you or she just wants to be friends, it’s devastating.

And it’s a very selfish way to go through your dating life - to believe in scarcity. Getting hung up on one girl and always evaluating girls in terms of which one can be you girlfriend.

When I was in my early 20s a lot of my friends were getting married and I was still single, I am still single today, thank God. And I can say “thank God” because at that time, had I gotten serious with a girl and gotten married, it probably would have been a big mistake.

Because when you have that scarcity mentality, you keep whatever you can get. You are not picking in terms of finding the right girl for you, the perfect girl for you. You will pick whatever comes along.

An analogy that I often use is the opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan”, the World War II movie, when all the soldiers arrive in boats on the beaches of Normandy. A lot of these guys get shot down and blown away before they even get off the boat. They die in the water. They don’t even get to the beach and then once they reach the beach probably 70% more get shot down by machine gun fire and only a few guys make it across that beach.

And I would say you and I, Angel, are guys who needed to cross that beach. We didn’t get shot down in our prime before we ever really got into "the game" - and that’s how most guys end up. They get caught and shot down before they ever wind up in the game.

So about my lifestyle at the time, it was very typical, it was getting hung up on girls. Often winding up in the friend zone. Not knowing how to escalate and take things to the next level and make women feel as attracted to me as I was to them. So that’s it in a nutshell, I was in need of help.

Angel: That’s great -I love the “Private Ryan” illustration. So eventually, how did you first hear about the dating advice out there?

Dean: Well my story is interesting; it’s all in my book Mack Tactics, which actually came out before "The Game" of Neil Strauss /Style. It came out in stores around the country, around 2004 – 2005.

At that time I had moved up to Las Vegas after a really bad break-up. I wasn’t feeling great, here I was in Las Vegas and - the hottest chicks in the world are in Vegas, from all over the place, in the bars, in the clubs, they are totally off the hook and I still couldn’t close the deal with these chicks.

I felt a little bit intimidated because there are also a lot of guys in Las Vegas, a lot of young, good looking guys with money, so how could I compete?

So one night, I am hanging out in the bar at four in the morning, after a very frustrating night at the night clubs, and I see this guy standing near me and he has got four women hanging on his every word.

And this guy was wearing a t-shirt, a pair of ripped up jeans, a pair of sneakers, probably about 5 foot 7 inches tall. Not that impressive in terms of looks, but this guy had these four incredibly hot stripper-type girls. 

So I figured this guy must be a multi-millionaire or maybe some actor or some rockstar that I didn't know about. Well, it turns out that I met the guy after he dismissed these four girls, got their phone numbers, gave them a kiss and said he’d call them. Sort of blew them off - which I was amazed by.

It turns out this guy was a hostage negotiator - the kind of guy you see in the movies and TV shows. But he was young and hip, he wasn’t one of these rough, old veteran guys like you see in the movies.

We became friends. I started hanging out with him and was just fascinated by the way he could just charm anyone. He was sticking around the VIP clubs and bars and it’s like everybody knew this guy and he could literallly approach any girl in the place, start talking to her, have her laughing and just all over him in minutes and then steer it to wherever he wanted to go. 

Now, as time went on, I started to understand what he was doing. He was using certain strategies and negotiation techniques when interacting with people. Being a negotiator is all about learning how to build a bond with somebody very fast and very effectively to win them over to your side, to build comfort and trust and then guide the interaction to where you want it to go. At the same time, using certain trigger words and certain phrases to influence the person’s emotional state.

So I started learning this stuff from him, I started applying it to my own interactions with girls.

And I started getting way more successful.

I happened to be looking to write a book at the time - I was a journalist. I thought - we’ll do a book that applies hostage negotiation to interacting with women. And that’s when I discovered the whole “seduction community”. I thought I was on to something that nobody else had ever written about, but then I realized that was already a lot on the Internet and there were even some “dating gurus”.

Angel: That’s a really interesting way to get into this - the hostage negotiator friend. I can understand the guy would be very laid back no matter what the situation – he is not going to be affected by anything a girl or a guy would say, no doubt.

Dean: Yes, and managing stress levels is really a big part of the game. When you approach a woman, she can feel stressed out. “Who is this guy, what does he want from me”, etc. - knowing how to manage that stress by using language is a very useful tool.

Angel: Sure. So other than this guy, did you find anything in particular useful from other gurus out there?

Dean: I enjoyed Mystery’s material a lot and Mystery is definitely an innovator, the way he broke down the whole process of seduction into steps. And the way he analyzed everything, which was very interesting to me, and he’s very good at it.

A good friend of mine is Carlos Xuma, he is a well-known dating coach. Carlos’ approach is all about helping guys to unlock and unleash the inner man inside of them. So he is really strong in masculinity - that’s sort of his angle on this. And I believe in that very strongly.

Carlos and I wrote a book together called The Alpha Rules which has been pretty popular.

So Carlos is definitely an influence and David DeAngelo too, he is a terrific writer. The way he explains thatattraction is not a choice but something you can actually trigger in a woman. These are the guys I would say have been influential for me.

Angel: You’ve been around obviously a long time. When was it that you met the hostage negotiator and wrote your first book?

Dean: That was back in 2004. The book came out around that time period. Since then I have expanded upon it, we’ve built a company and now have an entire line of products. I have worked on that with the top guys in this business and also on the products that I promote. The ones that I feel are absolutely superior. Those are the ones that you’ll also see featured on my website.

Angel: So what happened with your dating lifestyle, how did it evolve over time? Have you got your ideal dating lifestyle yet?

Dean: I am there today; my ideal dating lifestyle is all about having options.

I came to learn that really at this time of my life I am not looking to get married and to have kids and settle down. If that’s your goal, more power to you. It’s not mine right now.

And so, having options is what it’s all about. Not getting hung up on a girl no matter how beautiful she is. If she doesn’t accept my lifestyle and help me achieve what I want to achieve, then she is out of the picture, and I am on to the next.

I have been through a lot of women and they accuse me of being a player, but really they are just not measuring up to what I need.

That’s the abundance mentality that I referred to earlier. My lifestyle is very full, I can always pick – I might not go out for weeks while I am indoors writing and working, but it’s nice to know I could always pick up my phone and send out a text message or make a phone call and line up a date within 2 minutes. It’s not a problem.

Angel: Right, if you are actually looking for a girl that can match your expectations, sometimes that means going through a few dates, many dates with girls. Right?

Dean: Yes. And a lot of beautiful women are very needy, jealous and very lazy as far as what they bring to the table. They’ve been coasting on their looks for so long.

There are so many guys desperate to be with them and to spend 24 hours a day with them. It sort of messes with their head when they start getting involved with a guy like me because I just don’t play into their trap.

So I want to maintain my independence and I’ve been with enough women now that I know what I am looking for. That’s a really powerful position to be in. It’s about finding the right girl at the right time. What are you ready for at that stage of your life?

Angel: What would you say are the three biggest things that you learned or changed?

Dean: Learning how to control conversations has always been a big thing that I have worked on. And one of the very strong points in Mack Tactics is using language and verbal skills.

There are 10 “Mack Commandments” in the book and one of the Mack commandments is “Three quarters of Macking is listening”.

Understanding how to listen to women and how to invisibly guide the conversation so that you plant seeds in her mind about your own positive qualities and why she should want to be with you. Without ever sounding like you are bragging or anything. And also identifying topics to get her to share and reveal more about herself.

Most guys just plunge into this conversation with no game plan, no strategy and it turns into a job interview. Like, “so what’s your name?”, “where are you from?”, “have you been here before?”…and you are sort of stuck – you are not taking this thing anywhere.

And after 10 minutes she is getting a little fidgety and then she says “I’ve got to go find my friend now”. We’ve all been in that situation, and she is out of there. So knowing how to manage, control and guide the conversation was a big step for me.

Secondly, I stopped dating girls in the conventional way. I mean casually going up and saying “well maybe if you are free sometime we could do something” and taking her out to an expensive restaurant. You know, trying to impress her. Or taking her to a movie which is totally pointless. Sitting in the dark, not saying anything for 2 hours - what kind of an interaction is that, right?

I started doing it all on my terms. I invite girls to accompany me on cool activities that I have already got in motion. And I bring them out on them. It’s not at restaurants where I am going to spend $100, it’s for a cup of coffee or a drink at a cool bar, maybe going to an outdoor festival or even taking the girl along with me when I shop, to get her opinion on stuff that I want to buy.

See, not many times did I actually get anywhere as a result of taking a girl out to a fancy dinner - almost never. I got a handshake at the end of the night because there were too much expectations, she is thinking to herself “what does this guy expect from me for spending all this money?” and then you are not really comfortable either because you are thinking, “well I better get something at the end of the night for all this money I’m shelling out”.

So when you date girls in the conventional way, it often backfires. It’s one of the great myths of dating that you have to play by those rules.

And then number three… I guess learning how to escalate and guide things towards the close because a lot of guys, they get so intimidated and nervous, they don’t want to risk it. And then a lot of guys wind up thinking, “at least if we are friends it’s better than nothing”.

But I don’t waste time on that. I know how to escalate – take things towards the close and then decide whether or not I want to see this girl again, whether she is a possible girlfriend or not. I am willing to gamble a little bit. When I was in Vegas, I learned about gambling and you’ve got to take risks to win.

Angel: So, has it led to a difference in the types of girls you dated before and now?

Dean: I have always loved beautiful exotic women from different cultures. So the type has remained the same – there is just a lot more choice these days, certainly. But I think THEY would say there is a difference in me, how I carry myself, my level of confidence.

I have also had the opportunity to date a lot of women from different countries because I travel a lot, which was always a goal of mine. This never would have been possible if I hadn’t gotten my game together.

I think you will agree with me that most guys, when they lack confidence, they wind up grabbing on to the first girl they can, getting married, having a kid or two. They just try to hold on to that one relationship because it’s the best they think they can do. So all those goals and passions they had for themselves earlier in life slowly go out the window.

When you’ve got game and you’ve got confidence, it becomes a bigger picture thing. Once you know your dating life is handled, you are free to pursue all kinds of other things and not worry about the dating aspects. And that could mean going for a career that’s a bit risky but where your passion really is. It could be moving to another town or to another country.

Your options and your horizons are broadened when you’ve got the dating portion of your life handled. I am talking about bigger picture and lifestyle stuff in my programs.

Angel: That’s a great point and you are not the first to mention that - this knowledge supports your whole life, improves your whole life. And it’s not just about dating at the end of the day.

Dean: Not knowing how to date women and not being confident can literally ruin your whole life. You might wind up in your 40s, divorced, broke, depressed and you are thinking back to how you just blew the last 20 years on a bad relationship that you’d never have gotten into if you had had more options.

Angel: Any special or unique dating experience you have had?

Dean: Well I have done it all, I have dated women from all backgrounds, all ethnicities, in New York City, in Los Angeles and then in Las Vegas, where I actually lived with a stripper for 2 years. That was the foundation of my program on how to seduce strippers: ”Secrets of Strip Club Seduction”. That was actually a real crash course in male-female psychology.

I was living with a stripper, she was one of the top strippers in Vegas at one of the top clubs, pulling down $2000 a night sometimes, and all of her friends were strippers. So I would learn a lot from interacting with them all at BBQs at my house and swimming pool parties. It would often be all strippers and I was the only guy there.

I felt young, I was happy, it was fantastic, but by courting these girls I really got a deeper understanding of how easy it is to manipulate men and money. All that experience got poured into my program on Strip Club Seduction.

It’s a fascinating program and it’s totally the real deal because I’ve been there and for a long time in Las Vegas, strip clubs were like my singles bars. I would go in there with a mission of picking up women, and I learned how to do it.

It’s hard to pick one ideal experience because there are times when I want to be in a relationship and I want that security with one woman. Then there are times where I want to totally blow it out, be a rock star. And I’ve got the ability to do both.

Angel: Great. So more on MACK Tactics. Do you have any recent going-ons or any upcoming events or any products in particular?

Dean: Well if you go to macktactics.com you can get some free instructional material. You can download a free 95 pages book which contains a lot of techniques, a lot of information for free. [Editor Note - scroll to the bottom of the page to download the FREE S.W.A.T. guide from MACK Tactics]

On the website you’ll find a number of new products we’ve got out. One of them which is popular is the one called Dating Younger Women which is amazing because I actually reached out to all of my connections in the seduction industry and the program includes over 12 hours of interviews with many of the top guys in the game. They shared all their secrets about dating younger women and how to master that aspect of your life.

Also I mentioned the Strip Club Seduction product; it’s very popular and the new one called the Ultimate Approach – all about approaching women.

I would urge you to go to macktactics.com and check it out - there is also a link there to my blog which is constantly updated with free stuff and a lot of great articles.

Angel: Great. You have also given us a free 70-pages pdf full of "Mack Tactics" advice for our readers; we will add that on our blog right below this interview. Thanks Dean, we’ll talk soon.

Dean: I’ll see you, Angel, thank you very much.

Related Information: Complete list of MACK Tactics products with product information, rankings and editor and user reviews.