So you really want to know how to get a girls number? Well to start, first let's clear your mind of all the corny ways you have seen guys behave in person, in the movies or even a fantasy in your mind of how you would ask for her phone number. To a girl, a phone number is often regarded as a private matter and getting that number means she trusts you and likes you enough to give it. You want to respect that, even though to you it is not a big deal since it is just a phone number.
Keep in mind that most females are taught early in life not talk to strangers, especially men, much less to not give out their phone number to a guy they don't know. Think about it for a minute. A girl you are interested in might have experienced a stalker or bad guy in her not-too-distant past. So the art of getting a girls number is acted upon only after you demonstrate to her genuine compassion and interest.
The first call to action and rule of thumb is to be yourself. No put ons, no sense of you being phony or superficial. Just be your real, positive self. The self that puts his best foot forward to a new meeting with someone, be it work, play, or unexpectedly. If the atmosphere is a bar, for example, an air of confidence goes a long way in your initial approach to a girl. Mix that with a bit of humor about the environment ('is it me, or does it sound like a lot of geese in here?), and you have likely broken the ice to capture her interest to talk with you to get to know you.
What you are really aiming for is to build some rapport with her, so that she feels comfortable with you. She will then feel she knows you. And as a result giving you her number will seem natural to her. To build rapport and get her number practice the following approach:
- 1. Be a good listener: Make eye contact, listen, absorb, react, and emote. Make sure to give her the floor to speak, give her space to express herself. Don’t be the guy with whom she feels no rapport because he doesn’t let her participate. If she is not a talker, listen all the same for cues about her interests and how she says things with her eyes and gestures.
- 2. Practice active listening and leading to open up the conversation and explore for common interests: Repeat what you hear from her and run with the thread of conversation to expand on it. For example, she said, “I don't get out much, my friends begged me to come out” Your reaction is, “I know the feeling, and like you, bars are not in my top 10 of best things to do. With my friends we usually hang out and have more fun at more private house parties. It allows us to catch up better. What do you and friends do most?” Then give her space. You have just led her to a new topic to give you more about her interests.
- 3. Build on the similarities: As you learn about her, you will likely find similar things you have done or want to do. Shared experiences from one's past lead to bonding and desire to share experiences together. This builds rapport. That is a key aspect of how to get a girls number. If she talks about an outing she really enjoyed, you listen, you react, you reply with a similar experience of your own. Build your story with excitement, intrigue, and passion. Her comfort with you will increase as a result as she connects your story to hers.
- 4. Asking for the number: The final moment comes when you need to ask for the number. But because of the work you’ve done ahead of time in building rapport, this is a non issue. You shouldn’t feel nervous, it will be natural. When you find something you both like simply add “we should try that together some time...”. Often she will say it for you. From there, you have a natural step to request for her number. Just add “let's exchange cell phones and I'll call you to set it up.... here, put your name and number in.” and give her your phone.
So if you really want to get a girls number forget all of the corny ways you have seen guys try in person, in the movies or even just in your imagination. Remember, beyond feeling attracted to you a girl needs to be comfortable with you in order to give you her number. So if you already have projected the confidence to attract her, the harder work can often be on building the comfort (and this is where most guys fail). Be genuine, be real, be positive and take to heart the key points of this article. This is how to get a girls number – for real.
