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Over the years I have seen students of dating skills accelerate their success within a year or even less to levels they couldn't have dreamed about beforehand. That has been truly awesome to see. It transforms their lives, and not just from a women point of view, as it overflows, bringing more success into the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, the MAJORITY of students take much much longer, and sometimes they never achieve their potential. This is not through lack of knowledge - many of them have used some or most of the best advice products. It is due to a flawed approach to learning and applying the dating skillsets. The majority of people don't do any, or only a few of the following: - 1. Focus on one thing at a time: There is a lot to learn, and it can quickly become overhwhelming in complexity or in terms of the effort needed to change. You must focus on ONLY one skillset at a time to avoid overwhelming your brain with both information, and surpassing your 'stock of willpower' in terms of applying that leanring to change yourself and your actions.
- 2. Long term learning PRIORITIZED over short term results: The people who learn quickest are focused on the long term result of learning the dating skillset. They are not focused on the short term result of getting the girl standing next to them and making her their girlfriend. The reason for this is that having a short term result mindset, often tricks you into implementing the dating knowledge you have learned making a shortcut - breaking rules and concepts you have learned. You say to yourself "Normally I know i should do A, but I'd like to get with this girl today and it seems that I need to do B to make that happen so I'll try B." WRONG. You have just sacrificed learning, for a potential short term result. The truth is also that you will 9 times out of 10 not get that short term result because you went to the dark-side... turning away from the light of dating skills knowledge. Be warned.
- 3. Try and fail: Typically, guys who learn fast, at first look like they are failing and getting rejected a lot. You may have heard the saying 'the quicker you fail, the quicker you succeed'. It is applied often in the business world, and I have seen it be much much more true with respect to becoming successful in dating. The reason is that you have to get experience (get up the experience curve) as quickly as possible. That means, trying out lots of things you have learned and experiencing them in reality. The quicker you make failures, the quicker you learn the hard lessons you are going to need to learn to progress in this area of your life. Unfortunately there is no substitute for GOOD LIFE LESSONS, where you fail and learn from your mistakes. So, just accept that you will go through that period, and make it quicker, by not taking any little failure seriously - whether a girl ignores you, doesn't give you her number, flakes on you for a date, doesn't call you back, or breaks up with you... all of these steps are necessary to learn lessons. The knowledge will help you avoid many mistakes, but noone implements it perfectly - we need the experience of applying knowledge to REALLY UNDERSTAND it properly and apply it properly. Trying is essential to that. AND Failing accelerates the process, as we can use dating knowledge to see where we went wrong afterwards, and avoid doing it again.
- 4. Research well, then apply well: People tend to like to learn about/ analyze things (i.e. left-brained) or do things (i.e. right-brained). Unfortunately to make changes to the way we behave we need both together. It may sound obvious, when I say that you need to research the topic well, learn the best information, get good advice, understand it and then go out and apply exactly what you have learned in reality to get the benefits. It is obvious. But it is very clear to me and many other long time members of the dating community that 95% of people don't do it. You cannot truly understand anything until you have done it. So doing and trying what you have learned in theory is essential. Also, if you haven't studied something in the first place you will never get different results from the past (or you will just learn extremely slowly - instead of leveraging the millions of hours of time investment and experiences of others.
- 4. Keep a journal: A feedback mechanism that works very well for most people is to journal any girl/ women experiences at the end of each day and reflect on them in the light of dating knowledge they have already learned, or by looking for something that can help them understand and journaling about it. Journaling helps you to assimilate your experiences, learn from the properly and internalize new behaviors. When you journal about the girl who you kissed quicker than normal one day and explain it to yourself it settles in to your mind permanently, and becomes more part of you. In the same way, when you journal about the girl who flaked on your meet today and reflect on why, you internalize that, and it ensures that next time you avoid that mistake. Journaling solidifes your learning, and supports your building on your experiences. Rather than repeating the same mistakes repeatedly.
Special note on sticking pointsIt is very common for students to hit a specific issue which stops their progress to success when learning the dating skillsets. The issue here is that many students give in and don't persevere in the face of something that is proving difficult to get over. The way to get over these 'sticking points' is to apply the above guidelines with an even more focused approach. Focus on just that sticking point, nothing else for a while. Expose yourself to that situation or issue as much as possible, repeatedly, find more relevant knowledge to it and keep trying the different things you have learned. Sticking Points stop people's success because they let them beat them, not because they are insumountable. Or because they have a specific inability versus the rest of us. Often a sticking point simply comes from one bad experience that the student internalizes too much, and he starts looking at it negatively, then it slowly builds into a bigger issue that he avoids. Please don't make this mistake. The solution is to focus on it more, positively and persevere a little more until it disappears.
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