Dating Advice for Men – Get Knowledgeable about Where the Advice Comes From

One of the funny things about dating advice for men, is that it can be so so different. That is confusing, and unhelpful to those that want to use it.

I’m going to bring some light as to why this is. Afterwards you will be able to make more informed decisions about the dating advice that you are using. You will understand why dating advice can be alarmingly different and completely contradictory when you compare one with the other.

The first thing to understand, is that dating advice for men doesn’t all come from the same types of people or groups of people in society. Let’s call these communities. It comes from a few extremely different communities of people (coaches in some form or another). These communities have very unique and often conflicting belief and value systems. This is where the differences in the advice originate from.

The four communities from which dating coaches have come are Self Development, Spirituality, Traditional Dating/ Love Coaching and the Pick-Up Artist/ Seduction Community.

You may recognize some of the most popular coaches which we have positioned amongst these four groups in the diagram below.

The diagram below illustrates how these worlds now overlap to an extent. It is obviously not 100% clear cut. In fact some coaches have learned from a variety of sources themselves, and apply teachings from each of the groups. However, in general a coach originated from one group. Later, he may have added teachings from the other groups.

Coaches from one community or another have learnt from other communities and begun teaching advice based on merged beliefs and values.

A prime example of a coach who combines these worlds is David DeAngelo. David DeAngelo prides himself on taking knowledge from everywhere possible and combining it to create the most useful advice he can. In his own words in his seminar Become Mr. Right he says (paraphrased):

"I take information from as many sources as possible. I digest the information. Then I spit it all out in the form of a system. A way to do something. I create systems that are ways to do things and get success with them.”

As a result you can see that we have positioned him nearly in the center, where the four groups overlap. Ths is because, whilst he originated from the Pick-Up Artist/ Seduction Community he has increasingly introduced material from the Self Development and Spirituality camps in his dating advice.

Now that you’ve got an idea of where all this dating advice comes from and where some of the more popular dating coaches came from – let’s look deeper. Find out what is beneath the dating advice of each community. What belief and value systems do each rely on? In other words, what principles lie at the foundation of their dating advice?

The most important ways people differ in beliefs when it comes to dating advice are:

• 1. Typical Goals: What users are looking for from dating advice? What problem they want it to solve? What end result they wish to get?
• 2. Dating/ Relationship Beliefs: What is a good dating or relationship experience? What is a bad one? What is the purpose of male-female relationships in our lives? What are the rights and wrongs of dating and relationships?
• 3. Improvement Beliefs: How can you improve the results in dating and relationships in your life? What can you do to influence these results? What activities or exercises etc. support improvement? Which things are detrimental to improvement?